The Second Book
by keaRy anCe
Summary: She talked to him, again. "You know what," she paused and smiled "I still don't get the reason why I can't stop loving you. All this time it was you but for you it was never me." The sequel to The Seven Heartbreaking Chapters Of Her Life.
1. A Life

**The Second Book**

**Chapter One**

**A Life**

**Written by: **keaRy anCe

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It's like everything wasn't in order. Mikan's friends were the only concerned about her and the rest was not, like she never existed or whatsoever. Well these bulk of school projects are more important than her, maybe that was the reason or they simply don't want to care and don't want to go bias.

But their thoughts could not be preoccupied by a _scared _classmate according to Hotaru. They can get it over with just a couple of days and the Imai was sure of that though some very affected people like Natsume Hyuuga can't stop himself from thinking of the brunette and so was Sumire Shouda who could not stop thinking on why Natsume could not stop thinking about Mikan Sakura. It's like showbiz.

With all of these commotions, Sumire Shouda could not help to be insecure. She was beautiful and desperate than ever, many have noticed this. Doubling the amount of beauty products she puts on her face is the proof.

"_Must be a product of possessiveness._" Says the people.

With enough guts, Sumire tapped Natsume's back. "Let's talk outside." She informed calmly. There was a tension and it was obvious. The two knew that people are talking about them behind their backs but why is it like they do not care?

Natsume did what she asked and they went in the Music Room, given that it was silent there. Soeaking of this Hyuuga guy, his best friend was never seen near him, they are not talking and if there were times that they would pass by with each other they would just keep their faces poker-style. They are both stubborn fools.

"What now?" Natsume asked with his eyes gazing at the environment outside.

She took a deep breath before talking. "Are you still aware of the fact that we're here for you to protect me?"

"Yes." Was his short reply. Sincerity is not present in that very short reply that made Sumire asked for more. She wants to make this issue bigger, that's the truth.

"Natsume, be serious! It's like, its like I'm in Earth and you're in Jupiter! What happened to you and your promise? You said that you don't want to leave me but now. . . .you've become this another person since you saw Mikan hurting. What happened? Did anything occur? Did she say something that twitched your mind? Say it!" Yelling like that reflects that she is not satisfied to Mikan's lame escape. Oh how she regrets letting him play with her, she forgot the fact that even the coldest person in the world has a thing called 'conscience'. Stupid conscience.

The teenage guy looked a bit irritated at Sumire when she's asking questions, again, about Mikan. They have talked about her and everything about her last night but Sumire likes to open the topic that much. "Nothing happened. When you will fully understand it!? You see, Mikan and I were nothing. She said that she loved me but that time I didn't feel anything. I was thinking about you. Isn't that clear? Isn't that obvious? You should stop thinking nonsense."

"Then why are you saying that you loved her on those times that you were together? Are you trying to put some game? Well to tell you it is not funny. It's confusing me. Look, I love you."

"Whatever." He said and readied for his exit. "That word, I am so annoyed with it. I can hear that stupid phrase everyday. _Tsk_, this talk is getting stupid every second." As he finally left Shouda alone on the music room, it is now time for the girl to burst her feelings.

"Aarrghh! I won't let that loser get you from me!" Her bratty side came out again after all she's rich, she's gorgeous, she's sexy and she's mean. These are the perfect words to describe a brat.

She is very possessive of Natsume to think that Mikan never got him.

These three are all psychos.

Meanwhile inside their classroom where gossip could not pass,

"Hey Hotaru, what'dya think those two talked about?" Anna said, curious and little angry at Natsume. She still thinks that SumiNatsu are devils and doesn't care about what the heck others are feeling. If she gets the chance, surely she would smack these two--- simultaneously.

The quiet Hotaru flipped a page on her book, closed and reread it which made Anna smiled in confusion while waiting for her reply.

"Something." Hotaru replied.

"What did you say? Did I just hear the word 'something'? Gosh Hotaru, could you please at least elaborate that? Geez."

She again closed her book but this time she didn't opened it. "You know I'm not a talker Anna but I'm a genius. Those two idiots are probably discussing about this another idiot. Seriously pinkie, snap out of it. The friend you are defending is not here anymore, get over with it and move on."

"How could you say that? You are her best friend!"

"I'm saying this because she is also trying to get it over with and finally move on." She said and opened her book once again. That statement made Anna realized that maybe Mikan is trying wherever she is right now. She ahs no choice but to move on either.

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_**In Alice Academy. . . . . . . . **_

Mikan was seating comfortably in one of the academy's benches. She was clad to her newest uniform, the A.A's uniform. It was six in the morning and classes are not up until 7:30. She sighed knowing that everything will be strange now and everyone would be her fear. Weak is not an accepted word in this school moreover the word weakness, this notion didn't help either, of course.

She looked at her surrounding and could not help but compare it to her previous school. It was odd. This place is definitely more modernized and clean not to mention the buildings which are somewhat new even if the school is in service for ages. They are also promoting cleanliness and helping the environment due to the fact that the trees here are countless. Maybe.

"It's sure is quiet here." She said as she hugged her own body and looked down to relax her mind. After a couple of minutes Mikan looked up and unconsciously diverted her direction on a boy sleeping under the tree. Surprised, she went off to know who it was.

The brunette walked carefully and as silent as possible towards the boy and as he saw the human with a peaceful face she decided not to wake him up.

"How admirable, a lazy boy under a tree. Very common." She whispered sarcastically, mocking on her own. After the short stare and as she was about to leave the boy spoke.

"You do know that staring is not the best way of stalking, right?" Mikan gasped and turns around only to see the boy waking up and stretching.

Embarrassment is now eating her up. "You. Are you awake all this time!?" She yelled and pointed a finger on the man.

The peaceful figure before has now this annoyed expression. "What if I'm awake and stop pointing you finger on me." He said and shook Mikan's hand away.

"So-sorry, it's just that. . . "

"It's just that what? I'm too handsome and _admirable _to pass? Come on I saw you looking at me." He accused and base on the tone of his voice, he didn't like any of what's happening.

"Well since you are accusing me I think I have the right to defend myself!"

"Go on, fan girl."

"Fan girl!? How dare you! I am never a fan girl! I'm telli-"

"Yeah, yeah whatever fan girl." He interrupted.

"Hey! Would you let me finish?" When Mikan sensed that he isn't interrupting anymore she began. "Listen, I am familiarizing myself in this school since I am new and etcetera, etcetera then I happen to see you lying in these grasses like a street child so being the curious me I just came to see if that person is a human or something! Excuse me Mister but I do not intend to meddle within you 'fan girl' allegation or whatsoever. There, done!" She breathe heavily, that long shouting is exhausting.

The guy suddenly smirked. "Gosh broken-hearted, you are such a blabber mouth."

Her eyes widened. "What did you say? Broken-hearted? Me?" He could not possibly just guess it.

"You cannot believe, right? Well me either, they are saying you have this nullification alice then why am I able to surprise you? I guess some people are really idiotic and lacks on infromation." He said like it was nothing.

"They? What they? Who are them? What the heck are you talking about?" She questioned consecutively. Now that he is mentioning this group of people, Mikan thought what her role to those people is or it's just that they are her mother's friends.

"Oh nothing, a weak girl like you couldn't understand, that's for sure."

"Heh, weak you said?" She smiled sadly. "Alright, if that's what you are seeing go on I won't stop you besides who are you in my life anyways, bastard." She left the boy and escaped their argument.

They said that 'weak' is not an accepted word here. It means you are pathetic and lame and since all students here are unique for having their own abilities that means there are no weaklings here but there are strong, stronger and strongest so this word we are discussing doesn't belong here.

"After all, I don't belong anywhere, weak Mikan." She wants to cry, no, she wants to say it all and burst all her emotions but it was restricted. Why?

"_If you want to be strong, hide your emotions, show no fear and overcome them. If you want to be stronger, consider everyone as your enemy even me. If you want to be the strongest, remove anyone who will get in your way, trust your alice and never back out. Failure is unacceptable and winning is a __**must**__._" Her mom reminded. There is not a single thing in that explanation she would ever forget.

"But I am different, I tend to be good and helpful that is better than being strong. Yes, right, I am totally right." She cheered herself. "But why can't I even convince my self? That boy is right I am weak."

And all her doubts and questions were stopped by the ringing of the bell. She sprinted her way to her newest classroom and luckily didn't get late but the teacher was already there and noticed her arrival.

"Oh, yes I remember. Class! Listen! We have a new student, she just came in this academy. Please welcome Mikan Sakura." He introduced.

Mikan was surprised on that sudden introduction so she had no choice but to get in.

"I'm Mikan, 16, from somewhere." Due to nervousness she didn't even had a great introduction. Everyone's eyes on her and that made her feel creepy.

"_Pfft._ Is she trying to be a psycho or what?" A fat guy blurted that sends out laugh for everyone while Mikan's embarrassment is adding every moment.

"Alright, alright stop that class. Hi Miss Sakura, my name is Misaki your Science teacher, nice to have you in my class." He smiled gently that made Mikan comfortable. "And now for your seat, let's see. Ah! You are going to seat there at the third row's second to the last seat."

"No way!" A group of girls chorused.

"Are there any complaints about Miss Sakura's seat?" Misaki asked sharply but students now, they are just so disrespectful.

"But no one seats with Nagihiko-kun! We all know that specially you sensei!" A violet-haired girl stood up named Luna Koizumi.

"Luna calm down, please."

"No way! Nagihiko-kun didn't even allow her." She defended more.

"If it is causing more delays to your lesson Misaki-sensei then I will be glad to sit behind this Nagihiko guy. Trust me, I really don't mind."

"I'm sorry dear but that seat is occupied already and I have already decided your arrangement. Your classmates have no right to protest, come on it's alright." He smiled again, good thing that Misaki is a kind teacher or else Mikan would have completely hate this academy.

"Thank you sir, right I'll go to my seat."

"Aaaahhhhh! This is so unfair." Luna said more but the teacher and Mikan just ignored her. But her friends didn't forget to hush her.

That means Luna's effort on stopping Mikan all went to waste.

"So fan girl, you're my new seatmate huh." A voice said and it was familiar to Mikan. She calmed herself and faced the speaker.

"So bastard it is you. Ha, now I know why those girls tried so hard to stop me from occupying this chair but seriously if I were them I will let that weak girl because she has no intention of befriending a bastard seatmate. Now please, do not talk to me ever."

"Well if I were you I wouldn't say that. Your type belongs to the girls who don't want to be left out. Be proud that you are my seatmate fan girl or else they would treat you as invisible as air."

Mikan smirked. "In my opinion that is better. I don't need to be friends with the kind of people that stalks a bastard."

"Wow that actually hurts." He mocked and Mikan just rolled her eyes being angry with herself on why is she talking with this person. "But you know I won't be surprise if one day I'll see you crying and you will ask for my help."

"Yeah, yeah like that will happen."

"Wanna bet? I can read you. Completely."

"Read? Haha, as if you're a mind reader." When she saw a wicked smile on the boy a shocked expression is visible to her. All this time he was reading her mind. All of her thoughts are exposed to him.

"You! How dare you read my mind, you have no right, no right at all!" The girl shouted lowly. Being the 'pesterer' Nagihiko he is, he finds himself smirking on the girl's reaction.

"So tell me, who is this guy?" He asked.

So he didn't know it fully. "He was. . . nothing." Mikan answered. "Please let's not talk about him moreover don't talk to me." She warned.

"Okay." He said in a giving up tone.

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The guy is interested as ever with Mikan Sakura because as soon classes ended he directly went to the library where important and secured files. Good thing he has access on the school's database so researching for a person and a new student is easy for him.

"She has nothing special and she is nothing special but why they are so eager to be close to this stupid, ugly girl? This is useless." He shuts the computer down. "Sakura? Sounds familiar but I'm sure that Nullification is a powerful alice and that idiot has it who is also new to alice." He stood up and grabbed his bag.

"Crap I just wasted an hour of my life. Better get something to eat."

Even though he finds nothing exceptional in Mikan he can't still wait for morning to come just to annoy her.

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**END**

I did revise it a little my dear readers because of a very helpful review from ShiroKoneko, I was awakened by her review and decided to change the first chapter a bit. I **didn't reread **this but please if you spotted a hundred errors please do tell.

Don't forget to leave a **sweet review**.


	2. Both Sides

Thank you for all of your wonderful reviews!

**The Second Book**

**Chapter Two**

**Both Sides**

**Written by: **keaRy anCe

* * *

"_Goodbye Sumire! And don't come back!" _

"_Ouch!" _

"_Where are you taking me?" I asked, finally._

"_Somewhere where people like you is tortured." _

"_It hurts." I muttered._

"_Do you know!? That acting like a bitch in front of Sumire is shit! You, Mikan Sakura, are a bitch! Don't you __ever__talked that way to Sumire ever! Or else you would regret doing so." He shouted with all his might._

"_Why would I? I'm your girlfriend remember!? She is not part of you anymore! I am! Look at me! Just this time! Please! I love you Natsume, I really do! I will do anything for you!" I was panting and I am lamenting hard. It was a grim._

"_I don't care if you would do anything for me." He said. "But let's make this work. I will do my part as your boyfriend and you will do your part to leave Sumire out of this. You can wait, can you?" he asked gently and I smiled and hugged him._

"_Of course Natsume! Of course!" And he hugged me back. I became suddenly happy._

"Noooooo!!!!!" I woke up sweating and breathing hard. I dreamt of it. That was horrible.

I got up earlier than I expected, it was only 4:30 in the morning and it was cold. That stupid memory, why must I dream of that? It could be anything but that. Stupid. I feel so stupid right now remembering that I acted like a lovesick child before. I disarrayed my hair and cried. I miss him so much, I miss his eyes and his voice and his hair and his smirk. I miss him.

"Why can't I let go? Please stop, please." I'm afraid because I'm crying like a psycho. I'm scared for the reason that I don't have any friends. No one ever bothered introducing their selves to me. I am disappointed on how picky the students are here and come to think of it only that Nagihiko has the guts to at least and somehow talk to me. So yeah now I'm a bit thankful.

When my crying calmed down, I tried to sleep but I can't, knowing that later in will face those alices again.

At least at the outside I can be myself but here, it is crowded. I can't breathe normally.

"Am I regretting my decision? Oh no."

I prayed hard and wished that this is not happening. But nothing happen.

When I was a kid, father would always scold me for being so risky and it was proven when I jumped onto the river when we are having a picnic causing me to drown, almost. There are many events in my life that result me bad because I took all the risks and my decision is not firm, when it comes to my mind that was it. I don't back out, I am an idiot.

"_You're strong and cheerful. You have your own ways to get out of the most complicated situation that is why Mikan-chan I really idolize you. You love people and you love your friends, you are the most honest person I have ever known." _

That is Anna's comment when Mr. Narumi asked us to name one positive and negative trait of our classmate and Anna picked my name. When she said that I saw myself as a girl who can do what she wants, yes it became my ideology. Most of my classmates are my friend but being good with so many people has also side effects like: its hard to choose when two of you're friends are fighting so its better to be equal to the both of them and simple things like when our Values teacher said us to write our 10 important friends and I could not think properly who to put.

I smiled at the thought and for the memory. After that thinking I finally went into a deep slumber.

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"Shit!" I yelled as I woke up, it's almost time and I am going to be damn late! I need to hurry up. Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up, hurry up, hurry up! My second day and I'm going to be late, what a bad record. I took a bath and finish it as fast as I can and dress myself in to my uniform. Just a few more minutes and I am definitely will be late. I said a "bye" and "good morning" to my Mom.

If only I didn't woke up by that dream.

But for now there is no time to think about that, I'm near! And I saw our teacher is already writing on the board so I went inside silently but to no luck the teacher still noticed me, she was Serina-sensei, and she was kind enough to let me pass for being late.

I am short in breathing due to my long sprint.

"You're late." Nagihiko talked.

I glared at him. "So? It's not like it has something to do with you."

"Now, now, why glare at this early morning?" He sneered. "Will you at least smile for a sec. you are too hard to reach yah know."

Am I?

I didn't respond at all he would not stop even if I talk back. So instead of listening to him, I listened to the teachers. But though I'm forcing myself to listen to the teacher's lecture my mind is not working. Oh gosh, do I need a therapy? I hug myself and calmed down. My breathing is irregular and I am catching it.

"Miss Sakura, are you alright?" Huh? I looked up and saw my worried teacher.

"Ah yes Serina-sensei. I am fine. Sorry to disturb your class." Though I said that she still stared at me with those eyes and somehow it made me feel important. I want people to worry about me. I know its kinda selfish and wrong but I cannot help it.

"I wouldn't be surprise if one day I'll find you in a hospital."

"Hospital?"

"Yes, of being mentally ill."

"How dare you accuse me of being ill."

"My alice remember."

"Oh yeah, riiight."

After classes. Still, no one dared to approach me. Does that mean no one likes me? Are they really fussy when it comes to befriending someone!

"Hi, Mikan right?" A gray-haired girl greeted me and at that very moment my heart smiled.

"Yes?"

"I'm Nobara Ibaragi. Ahhhmmm, I don't know but the first time I saw you it suddenly came to me that we are going to be good friends. Sakura-chan, can we be friends?"

Nobara. "Of course! Of course! We can be friends! Nobara right?"

And that was the start of a good friendship. I'm really glad that Nobara wants to be my friend, I felt special again. I just need a friend and that was enough to stop this feeling of regret.

We talked a lot about our lives outside this academy and I am surprised that she is a cheerful person too. We discussed about alices and she even toured me in school. It's like I found what I was waiting for and my doubts and worries immediately vanished. I feel like I belong and I can't wait to tell mom!

". . .Yes and that was so amazing!" I cheerfully added.

"I agree! Ahhhmm, Mikan-chan I have to go." She informed, looking at her watch.

"Huh, to where?"

"Special classes." She answered directly. At this hour? Well, maybe since special classes are divided and so was the time and schedules.

"Oh, okay! See yah later." And then she ran in speed while waving goodbye to me. O just smiled to myself.

I continued walking with a smile plastered on my face. A friend. Yes. That was all I need.

"We can be friends too you know." Nagihiko said, making me stop at my walking.

"What?"

"I said we can be friends too." He repeated, walking closely to me. I can't believe that he would say that so suddenly. "You are the first person who hates me and I think that I finally found a girl who doesn't send me those stupid love letters."

"Is that really you're reason?" I laughed. "Why does my mind say that you only want me as your friends because you like to read my mind and tease me to death."

"That's. . .another reason." We both laugh.

"Well forget it. I'm still a stable person whose aware to be distant on the likes of you." I snapped. "Do you think that I'm an idiot to believe to a person that is accusing me as his fan girl yesterday and now asking me to be his friend because I don't drool over him? Please!"

He grabbed my hand and gripped it. "Let go of me!"

"I never thought that you would be this stubborn. Consider yourself lucky because Nobara make friends with you. Students here are not normal so don't compare them with your old friends and that's the main reason why no one wants you."

"You're wrong. If they are kind enough, it will be adequate for them to approach me." I said hardly and with determination. I shook his hand out of me. "And I think you are kind but not enough."

"Huh?"

"Because you talk and act like a bastard!"

I walked out. How could he say that no one wants me? Mom wants me and I'm sure my friends back home wants to see me either. That bastard is really somethin' but I won't let him occupy my mind because that will be unfair for me, getting all troubled by him when he doesn't even care.

I was at the edge of trusting him but what Anna said suddenly came to my mind,

"_And for my negative comment about you Mikan-chan, ahhhmmm, would be trusting people with all your heart. Being so honest is not really all good because trusting is like giving your life and if that person hurts you, a big failure will pour on you so please don't trust on people that easily."_

I never really thought that what Anna said is very true.

But I like to try it one more time and if I fail once again, I will never let people get into me ever.

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**END of CHAPTER**

This chapter is written on Mikan's point of view. Hmmm, have I done a good job? Please state all your feelings regarding this chapter in a lovely **REVIEW**.

This is just a short chapter but I sincerely promise to make the upcoming chapter at least 3K words.


	3. Trying

**The Second Book**

**Chapter Three: **Trying

**Written by: **_**keaRy anCe**_

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"_Me too! I'm so excited. Imagine, its just weeks away!"_

"_I so totally agree! Spring dance is the best of all and we're gonna go shopping..again!"_

Stupid high pitching voices.

"You're here again huh?" My eyes are glaring at him and he does make my mood more knotty, add to that the sudden rain. It's spring duh. Morning classes are suspended for a while because of the little flood forming on the east side of the school. _Pfft_.

"Coz I'm bored." He answered dully. Yeah, he was bored and so am I. Nobara is mysteriously absent today and that means I'm alone all over again. "You're bored too right?" He smirked. "So why don't we have a little fun?"

Crap this man! "Just get lost pervert!" I stood up and went away from him. Anywhere would be fine, I mean anywhere, but not with him! I can't take his tiniest teases. I'm so sick with him! But then, I turned around, he was my only classmate who likes to be with me though his main goal is to pester me. I ran, all of a sudden, and came back to where I exited.

"So what's with the change of mind?"

I looked at him, displeased, but what can I do? "I just realized that I don't have Nobara right now and it would be very lonely and unprofitable if I ran away again. I mean, how can I make friends when I'm kilometers away from those people right?" I'm unsure if I can make friends with him around.

"Right. But sometimes you don't need countless of people to complete your world."

"What do you mean?"

"Sometimes one is enough." Those words marked at my heart. I felt that way already. "Bet you felt that already." He read my mind again. I am so pissed! "Oopppsss. Sorry." He didn't sound apologetic but I'll let it pass since he killed my boredom.

"Tell me. What is this Spring Dance everybody's been talking about?" I asked, tapping my pen.

"I know you're a stupid stalker and a loner but you don't know what a dance is?" He mocked.

I growled at him. "Of course I know what a damn dance is! What I'm asking you is what is that for!?"

"Alright, hush tiger. It's a dance okay. Held on the month of April, can wear anything, can do anything but indecent things." He is not interested in this said dance judging by the way he blows his breath and his annoyed voice.

"So, aren't you excited?"

"_Tsk_. With these girls around? That's why I hate them. They all go crazy when we look at them and they're starting to get the wrong idea." I was kinda hurt in some way on how cold he said that, like he was referring to girls on the likes of me. "Seriously, I rather die than go to that mushy dance."

"I guess you're right." I got my bag. "See yah around." I ran my way out. I sighed. A dance huh? I never experienced one. I thought of it, dreamt of it, planned it but I'm juts not good with social activities like this and now I'm getting all pessimistic again. Maybe this life of mine is destined to be so _unfair_. But I should not be thinking these kind of things instead I should study hard. No, harder.

I felt a hand grab my bag backward, I stunned. "Ahh, you're no fun. Don't go yet."

"Why? Do we have something to talk about?"

"Hmm, why does something tells me that you're disappointed of me not going to the dance." I, my, me, ahhmm, I mean, my expression was ---**'WHAT!!???' **and **'HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT!!???'. **I almost choke at the joke, wait, is that even a joke?

"You're joking right?"

"No." He answered quickly.

"How could you!? Aren't you even embarrassed on saying those!?"

"No." As fast as the bullet rain.

"You're. . . .you're. . .you're impossible! Aaggghhhh!" The smirking behind my back didn't pass my firing eyes. I WAS REALLY FURIOUS!

Being popular is really _no _cool, at all. By now, there are four weeks before this Spring Dance but every girl in school, well except me and Nobara, is asking Nagihiko to be their partner. His locker, as usual, is full with scented papers and homemade chocolates and other gifts, poor girls if they'd known that Nagihiko hasn't any plan on going. If they only knew that all of their efforts for that unbelievable guy are all worthless, hah, maybe they would still go and have fun and have another memorable day of their life and how about me, I'm jut stuck at my room waiting until morning comes.

I'm such a looser.

"You're Mikan right?" A sweet voice interrupted me. I think she was my classmate. Is she? No.

"Yes! And you're. . . . ?"

"I'm Misaki, a year higher to you, I just noticed you talking to Ken Nagihiko always." She looked at me tenderly, bit her lip and opened her mouth again. "So is there something?" Somethin', somethin', somethin'?

Oh I get it. "No. There isn't." I said calmly.

"Oh," she paused "okay but do you know she asked Nobara last Spring Dance and got rejected." I can't believe what this senior is telling me. Nagihiko liked Nobara!? Well, that's a scoop! "She's the first girl he had asked and too sad for him, he got dumped." Then she laughed.

"Excuse me but may I know why you seemed so close to Nagihiko?"

"That's because I'm his cousin." She said plainly. "Thank you for letting me sit, don't forget the name huh, its Misaki." She smiled and gone.

It was so fast. So Nagihiko's got a cousin and a reject! I so love the story I heard.

"_Mikan Sakura, attention Mikan Sakura, Miss Yuka is searching for you. Go to the principal's office right at this very moment. Thank you."_

Is something wrong?

I ran as fast as I could and reached the office, opened the door and saw my mom alone.

"What's happening?"

"Mikan, my daughter, I need to ask a favor from you."

"Okay. No problem."

"In this school, I have a favorite couple and they are both kind to me. A month from now which is the Spring Dance also, I want you to meet them and I'm sure they'll be your classmates so they are what you called additional friends."

"Mom, that's alright. I like meeting new people." I smiled at her and patted her shoulders. "Thanks for the opportunity though it's very early for you to say that. Are they important people?"

"Well yes. No doubt."

"Oh, then I'll do my best."

"That's my girl."

Mom is hiding something from me. I don't wanna think about it, it is going to be her problem not mine so I'll just set that aside right now I need to see Nagihiko or more likely Nobara. I walked, and walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, and gotcha!

"Hi Nobara!" I was actually in a good mood today huh.

She closed her locker and smiled back. "Hey Mikan."

"So are you planning to attend the Spring Dance?"

She thought for a while and I really do hope that she would say yes so I can set her up with Nagihiko again and if she refuses no matter what I will do it again. Ha! "I'm a member of the Student Council so whether I like it or not, I must attend."

"Really? That's great!"

She nodded happily. "How about you Mikan-chan?" Oh, I was taken aback and frowned.

"I don't know yet but I'll let you know it once I made a decision." I reassured her. Actually I'm going to say "no", hundred percent, but then again this is my chance to interact with others and let them know that I do exist.

"Okay but I really wish you could come too, it would be great." I know that it is rude to say no to Nobara since she is one of the responsible students behind this dance

"Yes, I think so too but you see—never mind. It's absolutely nothing." I composed myself. "You're absent this morning, why?"

"I have stuffs to organize." A short answer, again.

"Regarding the dance?"

"Ah, no. It concerns the school and the happenings this school year." Wasn't that the same?

"Oh." I can't think of a topic so I opened the 'Nagihiko issue'. "Nagihiko asked you last Spring dance right?" She flustered. I knew it! "Why didn't you come with him? For other girls, you are the luckiest girl on that moment then how come you've rejected him?"

"Did Misaki tell you that?" She looked serious and I choked. Should I blurt it? "Ken is just forced to ask me, really."

"What'dya mean?"

"I mean, Ken is a good friend and as for Ken I'm also his good friend."

"He doesn't like you?" She nodded, I frowned. "And I thought I have something that can fire back him. Well you know what Nobara, I'm still not loosing hope that Nagihiko has this tiniest crush on you."

She giggled. "Mikan-chan, Ken could hear us and he might get the wrong idea and besides he has his eyes on someone else."

"Someone like you?" I teased.

Nobara shook her head. "Of course not." I swear Nobara is such a denial queen.

"Alright, if you wanna leave it on that way."

"Ken!" Nobara called out that surprises me. Seconds passed and Nagihiko sat with us. I bet he's excited to sit in front of Nobara.

"Why call?"

My girl friend stood up, getting her things. "Please explain to Mikan-chan that we are just friends and the Spring Dance last year is just a mistake." Huh? She's leaving me with Nagihiko, seriously!? "I'm going to do some errand for the Student Council. See yah later both!"

When she was gone I groaned. "I can't believe that I'm still stuck with you. All day!"

He smirked. "Keep acting as if you hate it."

"I'm not acting! Okay!? It's just that I really am not comfortable when you're around. You are so full of yourself and worst; you are not even embarrassed!" I found the table a good furniture to hide my face.

"You're paranoid."

"I'm not." I said, still leaning on the table.

"Then you're overreacting."

"Maybe, but still not."

"Then what the heck is your problem?" So good that he asked.

"It is _you_. You see, I'm new here, I have no friends, I have no one. No one but Nobara and you. As much as I hate to see you and love to throw you away, I can't."

"Coz you like me." He interrupted.

"No!" I griped. "You're a jerk, mean, arrogant but at least you like hanging out with me albeit you're purpose of teasing me. So though you are not the ideal friend or the ones that I like to be my friend, I can't throw you away because in this dilemma of my life, you are the kindest person I have so far met."

"And that is the other way of saying you 'I like you.'" Darn him! My emotion is shown through my fist hitting the table.

"Of course not." I offered my hand to him, standing up. "This is the other way of saying 'Let's be friends.'" When I noticed that he won't hand his hand out, I just grabbed it for _friendship's _sake. At least I feel lighter and free. I may have the hardest time of controlling my anger over him but I can deal with it since I only have Nobara and Nahigiko with my side and nothing else.

"So, are you and Nobara like. . .more than friends?" I'm so sneaky. Good thing he stood up too but he started to walk, now I have to catch up with him.

"You're so nosy."

"She said you were forced but a joke is half true so you do like her then and besides what's not to like about her, she's such a beauty." I elbowed his side. "Come on, agree with me." I elbowed more.

"I won't."

"But you like her!"

"If I like her I should have asked her again for this stupid Spring Dance." He was so persistent, so am I.

"She's lucky to have an admirer like you."

He faced me, looking so pissed. "Stop being an idiot. I don't like Nobara, it's just a bet from her old seatmate. He is a bastard that I couldn't get along with but we're not enemies either. I just thought winning some rabbits from him given that he was one of the richest bastards here and I needed money badly for my food allowance so I agreed, too bad for me Nobara was quite close to him and heard our talk which I didn't know so I got busted and bankrupt."

"Where is this bastard then?" I'm really nosy.

"Stop being sneaky will yah?" Wha- !? "He's out for a mission." A mission is obviously a task given by the higher ups in order to preserve the outside world and the Academy's peace and safety. A mission can give you benefits like: extra allowance, popularity, class excuses, respect from the higher ups, training, top priority of the Academy's council for Star Ranks and many more. But every mission is definitely dangerous and mysterious.

"That's why he's rich huh."

"Correct, but this rich bastard doesn't stop there. He's so full of himself just because he has a powerful alice and a rich girlfriend."

"You're talking like you two were really enemies." He's pissed of with this rich bastard. Love it.

"Shut up."

"If I didn't know better, I would think you're just jealous of him." He glared at me. He's dead serious this time and I'm kinda afraid. Maybe he would beat me up this time, crap, why did I have to open my big foul mouth. "But I know you are better than him!" I cheered though it was for the sake of my life only and I never meant it.

"_Tsk._ Shut up." He's not satisfied.

"I really mean it! Really! Because there's no reason to be jealous and I'm just pure wrong right? Not? No?"

"Next time just shut up."

"Yes sir!"

Then we start walking again. "You're a mind reader, how come you could protect yourself?"

"What's this? A damn interview?"

"No, no. Just curious."

"I'm not a simple Alice. You don't know anything about me."

He has a foul mouth too. "I'm new here, expect that I don't know anything about you okay? Nagihiko, you really remind me of someone I know."

"Who? Your lover boy?"

Yes. You remind me of Natsume though I don't have the same feelings towards you. "You're so silly."

"You're just changing the subject."

"Whatever." I rolled my eyes. We've stopped on one of the school's balcony. "Many girls have asked you for the dance, aren't you even going to reconsider them?"

"No. No one's enough."

"You are making me laugh, boy. Just pick one girl. Don't tell me there isn't one? Even one?" He's silent as ever. "Really? You're hopeless. Poor girls."

"They're just nothing but stupid."

"Nobara's inviting me. At first I planned on setting you two up but in the end I was proven wrong. I'm planning top reconsider my earlier decision of not going. I have passed so many opportunities in my life and I came to think and many 'what if's' came to my mind. What if I never make it next year? I'll sure regret not attending the Spring Dance in heaven. What if I stumble into an accident now? I'll regret not talking to you seriously. What if. . . . ."

"Shut up! Okay? You blabber too much."

"Fine." He's no fun. If I stop talking, I would be thinking of different things again.

"You're crazy." He said.

"Huh?"

"Fan girl, do you really think you're escaping your tantrums by talking too much? I told you, you're paranoid."

"I told you, I'm not."

"But the truth says otherwise. Being back to your cheerful self while not realizing that your cold act is slowly breaking is soon will be an addition to your paranoia. You're really fascinating but you are, no doubt, stupid. Listen. You're lover boy isn't here, you're in Alice Academy. Leave your friends for a while and live like us, Alices. Concentrate on your alice and on the school. You are so distracted."

"This is me, Nagihiko. I know I can overcome this."

"If you say so. Just promise to look here inside and forget the outside world while you're still here. It's your choice after all."

Is he comforting me?

"I totally agree with you but on the fan girl part, definitely no."

He messed with my hair. "Alright, kiddo."

And I'm definitely not a kid!

Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid Nagihiko!

". . . .Call me Ken."

"What?"

"As expected, so idiotic. I told you to call me Ken. Not Nagihiko."

"But I'm comfortable calling you Nagihiko." He glared at me once again. "Ken! Okay! I'm starting to call you Ken!"

"That's more like it." He whispered to my ear.

"You're acting weird Ken."

"Am I?" I can feel his widening smirk. "I thought I said you're interesting."

"Yes and you are really weeeeeird." I know this, I know this! Situations like this only happens when the boy is about to confess on the girl. But no! We just knew each other and I'm not ready for this relationship again!

After I said that, he laughed hysterically. "You're really fun to tease fan girl. Good luck on acting that you don't like me as long as you want but I'm not really satisfied on your skills. Try to be more convincing sometimes."

"I hate your joke." I glared. "And your guts."

"Same here."

We just stood in silence after that.

Ken moved a little. "This lover boy you had, what he's like?"

Now suddenly asking about hurtful things. "He's a bastard. That should describe him."

"You're hopeless." He growled.

"Alright, alright. His girlfriend dumped him for some family reasons and then he asked me to be- you know what- I was so happy then. I am so stupid." I think I'm gonna cry. "Let's not talk about him."

"Fine with me. He sounds one of a bastard I know."

I gave a funny expression. "You know so many bastards you know. I think everyone's a bastard to you." I laughed and looked at my watch. "Oh, it's almost time. Let's go back." He followed me immediately.

"No."

"Huh?"

"Nothing." Then he walked faster, almost leaving me.

"Wait!"

"You're so slow," He turned his head to me and smirked. "and stupid." He added in a speed.

"Shut up you bastard!"

This day went well. This day is fine. I'm beginning to get along with Ken. He's a talker but he is not a gentleman but with his looks, girls made a consideration. As for my good friend Nobara, she is a gentle person, very feminine and I like her. With these two I know my life here in the Academy won't be boring. I found two opposite persons and add me that would be three opposing personalities.

I guess I'm a little happy.

Oh and I must not forget Ken's cousin, Misaki. I wonder if we will meet again. Hmmmm.

-

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-

_**END OF CHAPTER**_

**I guess you could tell that I **_**love **_**this chapter. I don't know if I'm doing this story good or bad but based on you **_**REVIEWS**_**, I'm pretty happy that you like it in some way. In this chapter, I've put so many dialogues because it would be very boring if there lesser conversation than the long descriptions. Please and please, tell me everything on your review whether it's a criticism, a praise or whatsoever, I would love to hear it.**

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	4. To Live

_**Author's Note:**_

_**The Seven Heartbreaking Chapters of Her Life. **_I recommend you to check it out again, it has been revised and republished.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice. **Wow, I miss typing this.

**The Second Book**

**Chapter Four**

**To Live**

**Written by: **_**keaRy anCe**_

"In preparation for the Spring Fest, everyone is required to help." Our Home Economics teacher, Serina, informed. Just this morning the High School Principal commanded every teacher and faculty staff to update the students that they will play a big role in this upcoming festival. Ask me. I don't care. They are busy on so much useless things. They should have use this day to teach Advance Algebra rather than advance consumption of their allowance.

"Every club and class is asked to start and participate in designing the whole Academy." She continued as she walked back and forth in front. "Students that are found lying and doing nothing will be given extra work." She ended with a warning. Students who doesn't care didn't give a damn on Serina's warning instead they busied themselves by throwing papers with each other. Who knew that kind of act also exists her?

On the other hand, why do they need to be strict about this? I don't get it. Can I pass? My mom has a high position; can I use that to pass? Oh, what am I thinking? I'm being lazy again. After that short reminder, she continued on teaching and the lesson is about the importance of an alice in cooking. I took down notes hoping my effort would be worth it when examination day come. Speaking of Alice, I think I'm not improving, I can't even use it when I want to that's why I want to consult my mother about that, it's worrying me.

Serina-sensei removed the chalk dust in her hand and said. "That's it. Have a nice afternoon." She smiled. I was glad to see that she was done. I finished the last remaining notes she had written on the board before I packed my things. I glanced at the moistened window, proving the fact that it rained a little. A raining spring, now where will you see something like that? It is kinda cute to experience season like this. _It was also spring when I met them_. My expression saddened when blur of memoirs came.

The bell rang and everybody is rushing their way out. Their way of rushing out is different from the other days, they look like there is this sale on the mall which is about to end for the day. They are all hurrying and squeaking in excitement. I wonder. Maybe a celebrity has came, I reckoned.

"Where are they going?" I asked myself as I followed them with my eyes. A boy hit my shoulder, courtesy of his running, causing me to drop my books, almost, so to prevent that commotion to happen again I held my books tighter and tried my best to avoid the crowd. "I really wonder where they are going." I whispered, my eyes still trailing them.

"At Central Market, Mikan." Nobara said behind my back, I was staggered at first but we managed to smile at each other as a sign of greeting. I haven't seen Nobara frequently so I was happy to talk to her again. I like gossiping and I'm really talkative that is why I can't live with no friends to talk to.

"Central Market?" I asked with confused eyes, we started to walk.

"It's a large shopping district. You can find everything there and with a touch of one's alice." She explained, her voice indicated she was excited too. "The reason why students are rushing to be there is because of the Spring Festival, since it is weeks away they need to find their clothes and other needs for the occasion. They also need to rush because the good ones might be gone and you know us teenagers, we want the best."

I slowly waggled. "Are you going too?"

She nodded. "Yup and I want you to come with me." She invited and pulled my hands. I was about to say "no" since its too early for shopping and I haven't fully decided if I'm going yet but she strongly dragged me all the way to this market of them, oh, us. I always forget the fact that I'm a student here, silly me. We rode the school bus which is my first time, in this school I mean. I got to see the places outside the school and it reminds me of the real outside world, it's almost the same though the atmosphere's a bit diverse.

I am still enjoying the trip when I saw that my classmates are getting off the bus.

"Come on Mikan!" I heard Nobara exclaimed and dragged me again.

Central Market huh. Now I know why everyone's excited to come here, it s something you would be tired of because you have seen so many beautiful things and you can't pick anything coz you want them all. Ha, this is better than any other mall outside! But here, it's an open area and as it goes by its name, it is a market. Unlike in the academy, here you could see speak as loud as you can and gave unlimited smiles and chuckles. What a good scene. Everyone is happy. We entered a boutique that has weird designs and interior. I never though Alice people could be so creative.

My mind is so awed that's why I didn't noticed Nobara choosing dresses for me. She continually gave me those dresses that I need to try on but I can't say 'no', again, because she looks so excited and I don't want to ruin her mood and be accused as a killjoy.

"Here. Try this and this and this and –oh, this one's lovely- and this! I hope this color suits you, well, try it anyway." Nobara gleefully said, eyeing the shoes laid in front of her and practically ignoring the beautiful dresses she just gave to me. "Mikan, you have no idea how I planned your look for the Spring Dance!" She cried and bent down to check the shoes.

"Nobara, I guess this is a bit much." I spoke timidly.

She stared at me like I'm some alien and then she smiled. "When it comes to you 'much' isn't a word!" I can't help but to sweat. Then she gave me that same excited look she had since we started shopping. It was invigorating, Nobara is my only friend here so far and I wanna treasure her forever.

I giggled. "If that's the case, then let's continue our shopping!"

We didn't get tired at all. We enjoyed every second of our shopping spree and even though if it wasn't for my mother's money I could not afford any of this, I still enjoyed it. I can sense that my mom wants me to be happy also and get over with everything that had happened and I'm trying. Trying through simple things like this. I know someday or maybe one day I will become the old me again but more mature and I will find that person whom will I cherish forever. I will never stop believing that even a girl like me could have her own amazing love story. A love story that the heroine and hero's feelings are mutual.

"Oi." An annoyed voice greeted my stare. His hands on his pockets and he is good in ignoring the stares the other girls are giving to him. Is he really _that_ handsome? Does he have the appeal? The charm? Why can't I perceive it? Are me eyes not normal or is it my brain? Why? Why?

My mood suddenly changed and I can't seem to find Nobara all of a sudden. I tried to be calm and answer politely. "What do you want Nagihiko?" I asked, disarraying the bargain in front of me.

"I though we're cool?" He was talking about our friendship.

I looked at him, frowning. "Ken." I said, proving I can call him by his name now and we are friends and I never forgot about that fact. "What do you want Ken? This is a girl's shop. Boys like you should be shopping on the store before this." It's true, what is he doing here? Has he become gay?

"Well, what do you know? I might be actually buying for a girl." He said and I was shocked. He continued on looking the displayed items and my instinct told me to brush his shoulders and ask him. Has he really become gay?

"Wait, what? You have a girlfriend?" I spat. I can't believe him. One day, he's blabbing about hating girls and now he has a girlfriend. Who is that girl? Or _has he really become gay_?

He smirked in victory. "Whoa, who said anything about a girlfriend? And if you're thinking that I'm a gay, you should stop it." Fine. I know he was reading my mind.

And yeah, who said anything about it? Stupid me. Stupid, stupid, stupid. "No one." I justified, showing him my justifying facial expression. "But it's too impossible for you to put so much effort for a girl, oh, maybe she's your sister." I said my thoughts, a bit embarrassed. What if I'm wrong again?

"I don't have a sister and I was just lying." He's a jerk! He ruffled my hair and pinched my nose; too much to my annoyance I pushed him a bit. He made his way to the accessories corner and I still followed him. I won't give up a talk without saying anything long.

"You jerk! And here I thought it was for Misaki."

He froze for seconds and started to bombard me with questions. "You met her? What did she say to you? Is she the one who told you about Nobara? What else did that traitor told you?" Traitor? What is he saying? She's his cousin for Pete's sake!

My eyes twitched, why is he so unloosen up? "Easy fella. I just met her, the other day, she came to me and we had a pretty nice but short talk. Don't worry, I don't remember anything she said –in fact- she really didn't say anything about you except the topic about the Nobara incident last year. She said she's your cousin, is that true by the way?"

"Well, yes." He bluntly said.

"Thanks to her extremely friendly personality I think I gained another friend." I beamed. I was really happy. Misaki is such an approachable person.

"You're still searching for that?" He sound disgusted.

I nodded and started to choose some accessories, trying to avoid eye contact. "Is there a problem with that? Friends are treasures. Don't you ever forget that." I seriously acknowledged.

"Whatever."

"I don't accept 'whatever_s_' as an answer." I grunted, a little angry with him. "It ends the conversation."

"Well then, how about, I don't care?"

"You're impossible!" It also ends the conversation. "I hate people who are hopeless like you. Ugh!"

"I don't care." He replied, I grunted. How could he be so insensitive? He's a total yank! Now, I can't stand him! I walked away from the corner we were into and went to the counter to pay some items I have purchased and Ken purposely hit me on the shoulder. He is following me, very well, I'll shun him. Can I do that? No.

"Are you tying to be rude?" I asked, accusing him for purposely doing it.

"I'm trying to annoy you." He grinned. How dare him! He didn't even lie that he didn't do that on purpose.

"Congratulations, you already did." I admitted. "If your intention is done, you could go now."

"Why are you shoving me away? Do you own the place?"

"No! But you see I am not comfortable with you around. It's like something bad would always happen when you're near and I seriously don't like trouble."

"Paranoid."

"I am not paranoid! I just want to be safe. That's different."

"And cynical." He added, ignoring my outburst. We are still in the store.

I stayed silent. So what if I'm being paranoid and defensive? Does he even care? Knowing him he wouldn't give a damn about my feelings. I glared at him and asked him a question. "Have you seen Nobara?" I changed the topic and besides he might know where Nobara went.

He rolled his eyes. "She's with you."

"Obviously, she's not here." I eyed him, my eyebrows twitched and my face is sour.

"That's not my fault." Ken snarled.

"Yeah, whatever." I accidentally said. I cupped my mouth and stared at him with these big brown eyes of mine.

He gave a light laugh and poked me on the forehead. "I don't accept _whatevers_ as an answer."

"Oh, shut up!" I yelled as I threw him a cloth I just grabbed out of nowhere. I exited the store and tried searching for Nobara and as usual I was successful, I saw her- eating. Why didn't she invite me? I have a thing for ice creams. Now I'm craving for it. Yummy.

I ran towards her. "Nobara, I was looking for you! Where did you go?" I kinda scolded, panting. I left Ken and I don't care where he went. He's a big guy and I'm not his maid. Wait, why am I thinking this?

Meanwhile, Nobara was surprised by my voice and gave me that same cheerful smile. "I'm so sorry Mikan. It's just that I saw Ken coming and I thought you and him would have some time together." She is not helping, seriously.

"Are you serious? Why do I need to hang out with a guy like him? I don't like him, if you're thinking like that. We are just friends, nothing else." I declared, disgusted. She's setting us up and I could feel that. It was not a good thing to do.

"Aww, but I think you could make a good couple." I'm correct. She _is _setting me with Ken. The boy I like for her.

"Stop teasing me."

She pouted. "Don't tell me you didn't have any boyfriends before."

I stopped. I can't seem to say something and I hate it. I suddenly became sad and flashbacks horrified me.

"Mikan? Is something wrong?" I hear Nobara asked. I looked at her and smiled. Past is past. I should get over with it and I better start forgetting about it.

"Why are you suddenly invading my personal life, huh?" I mischievously smiled.

She chuckled nervously. "I am curious, that's why."

"I didn't have any relationship with anyone in the past. So you see, I have no experience." I lied, she wouldn't know anyway if I'm lying or saying the truth. She doesn't know anything about my past and Natsume and I have no plan to tell her because Nobara shouldn't get involve with those meaningless problems. I also had enough with those encouraging words. It sickens me in a way that I shouldn't.

"Why? You're attractive and kind." She really doesn't want to drop the topic.

"I don't know and I don't care." I said. "How about you?" My time to ask.

"I'm not popular and beautiful." She straightforwardly replied, dipping on her ice cream.

"Oh, stop saying nonsense things Nobara. You _are _beautiful and being popular is pointless." I encouraged. "If this boy you've been waiting for came, let me be the one who will know it first. Promise?" I gave her a beam.

She smiled back at me and made a promise. "Promise." She's my friend and saying things like this, I know, will help her and I'm not lying so I should get an award for this for being such a concerned friend. Who am I talking to? I laughed. This is such a great day. Almost. When I remember the incidents with Ken my blood is boiling. Damn him.

Nobara sent her temporary goodbye to me because she said she has a thing to do regarding their Student Council, I could not stop her because it is her duty but I started to think why is the Student Council so busy? I could not ask her because she always has some errands to go and things to do and when we're in school I was too busy with myself. Now, I need to balance my time and have some peace of mind. Yeah, I should do that.

I saw a bench under a Sakura tree and I immediately went there to rest because my feet are killing me already. I sighed in relief and looked up to see the ray of sun shining through me as the flowers of the tree sway and fall, it was really something and beautiful, my first time also to see this _phenomenon _closely. I wanted to cry, oh, this is so wonderful! I'm back with my childish attitude and mind again- meaning I'm being happy with little things. It is spring and I wonder what the preparations Hotaru and the others are doing in my old school. Could their celebration be as extravagant as ours or not? Maybe they are having a dance too or not because Sumiasen is too busy with academics. But deep inside my heart, I know, they are happy. They should be.

"Your Nullification Alice isn't improving and you haven't attended a normal special class since you got here." Ken said behind my back, oh, he was sleeping under the same tree. He yawned and walked slowly to sit beside me. He stared at me with those eyes of him and instantly looked away.

"Aren't you tired of insulting me?" I asked him.

"Never." He laughed. That was a good answer.

"I'm tired of talking to you." I lied.

"That will never happen also." He knows me too well.

I unconsciously gave a smile. "You talk as if you know me too well."

"Don't I?" He is too full of himself.

"Before, you said I don't know you and I will use that same line to you, _you don't know me_."

He rolled his eyes. "Whatever."

I shrieked. "Stop replying that word to me!"

"You can't order me around."

I didn't protested or whatsoever. I just lay back in the bench we are both sitting. The leaves continued on falling and the rays of the sun are slowly banishing. "Have you decided about the Spring Dance?"

"I have no reason to go." He is so straightforward.

"Oh." Why? He always says that. "Why are you so distant to poeple?"

"Why do you care?" He monotonously spat.

"I'm nosy, aren't I?"

"So you finally admitted it." He smirked. "I'm just not like you. I'm too great."

"You do know that arrogance is not a good thing right?" I scolded. "Also, that dance is for everyone. Attending there wouldn't reduce your pride and your arrogance."

"Once you get to know me, you'll agree with me." He said.

I made a mocking sound. "But you don't want us to know you! Look, do your fan girls even know your birthday?"

"No. I don't want them to know." He replied, yawning.

"See! You are too picky! Maybe if you'll know someone that can surpass you, your ugly behavior would change."

"I never said I'm the greatest." He glanced at me, his smirk didn't fade away.

"Oh yeah? I know you're just lying coz based on that smirk glued on your face, you are probably thinking that you're the greatest thing on Earth!" I exclaimed but I was serious. This guy has some _attitude problems_. "Fix that before it gets too late or you loose someone." I was referring to his friends.

"If it is friends that you mean I'm loosing, I'm not afraid of it." How could he say that? Is he really some heartless jerk?

"I'm your friend and you're not afraid of loosing me?" I choked my shyness down to my stomach to ask him this particular question. I need to test him. If he was going to say 'no' then that meant only one thing, he thinks he is the center of the universe but if his answer is the opposite, well, I got to know him better.

He looked at me with his cold expression. "No."

I scowled, I am not happy. "Really?" I knew it. I'm upset.

"Yah, really." He repeated and that made me angrier than before. So what if he doesn't care about me? I won't also care about him. Jerk! He is not human. Come on, what person in his right mind would want his friends to be gone? He is definitely insane.

"I am not insane." He stated, gosh, he read my mind. "I just know I won't loose you." I can't reply instead I blushed. That was his point huh? Good point. "What now? You got your tongue loose?"

"No, I am just happy to hear you say things like that." I stood up grabbing the things I just bought with Nobara. "Now that we're friends -officially-, can I ask you a favor?"

"Depends."

"Can you go to the dance and have some fun?"

"The moment you decided to go, I have already made my decision too. No need to ask a favor."

What? Is he really coming just because I'm going? "You said you have no reason to go and if you don't really want to, that's fine. Don't force yourself just because I keep on blabbing it to you."

"You are really stupid."

"Don't call me stupid, jerk." I hit him with one of the paper bags I'm lifting. He didn't even offered to help me holding this, so un-gentleman. "I hate being called stupid."

"Are you being sensitive now?" He mocked right through my face.

"You got a problem with that?" I snapped at him.

"Want to know the truth?"

He is getting annoying. "Stop playing games with me." I warned.

"I hate games too but you started it."

I was literally surprised in the way he is shoving to my face that I am the one who's at fault in this conversation. "As far as I remember, I didn't and it was you." I inhaled.

"See? You're playing games with me."

"Oh, shut up!" I yelled, hitting him with my foot.

"Ouch!" Good thing he was hurt by my kick. That should teach him a lesson. "Before I forgot, I don't accept that as an answer."

He backfire me! "Just SHUT UP!"

He never left my side. He is so annoying. We walked in silent and that is really awkward. Imagine he didn't talk for real. I want to ask him if he was doing this because it's bothersome for me or what but if I do that I'll eat my words again for shutting him up and be the one who'll make him talk. People were looking at us and might think that we're actually -ahhmmm- I can't say it. . . .a couple? To stop them from thinking the wrong thing, I did my best to get rid of him but he is serious in tailing me. I inhaled hardly and faced him.

"Is it not obvious that I'm shooing you away?" My hands on my waist and my voice is high.

"I'm not stupid. I'm aware of that."

I dropped my things and grabbed him by the collar. "Fine." I hissed. "Be that way, I won't stop you. But be sure to stay away from, people are looking and your fan girls might salvage me if they also got the wrong idea."

He held my hands and gripped it away from his neckline. "Malicious much?"

"I want to be safe, that's all."

"You're chickening because of them?" He ridiculed.

"I am not." I am not scared of any Alice. There are _other_ things besides my Nullification. I ogled at him keenly showing that I'm serious and telling the truth. "No alice can harm to me. Defensive, offensive alices could not harm me. I amore than what you think, you know. I may be a girl and a new student but that doesn't necessarily mean I'm new to being an alice."

"You speak as if you mastered your alice."

"I know I haven't reached that stage yet but I'm working on it." I assured him and judging by the look he was giving to me he does not trust me. "I told you. You don't know me yet, multi-user." I smirked.

He looked shock. His eyes are wider and he could not believe what I just said. "What are you saying?" So he still pretended to be unaware. Alright, I'm gonna play with him a bit if that's what he want.

After my smirk and serious expression, I gave him my smile and I also laughed a bit. "Oh, I'm sorry did I tense you? I was just bluffing. It isn't possible that you are a multi alice user right? You are just a mind reader. Or is it possible?" I did my best to act innocent and unaware.

"Of course not. Like you said, I'm just a mind reader." He glanced away. I can tell his nervousness is eating him up. It's the first time I can see him in such discomfort and it was heaven. He began shutting up; his secret is something that a person like me wouldn't know. I'm different.

"Hey you two!" I immediately turned my head to see the yelling lady we just heard and to my happiness it was Misaki. She is running rapidly towards us also having those purchased items in her hands.

"Hi! How are you?" I greeted right at the moment she stopped in front of us.

"I'm fine, Mikan-chan and I know you are too so I won't ask." I nodded happily and then she averted her body and attention to her cousin. "My cousin looks pale. Did he do something bad to you? Oh no." She placed her hands on her mouth and in the process gasped.

I shook my head. "No. We are just talking."

Ken gawked at his cousin in irritation. "What are you doing here stupid cousin?" He frowned.

"Ken! I am not stupid! And I'm not here for you; I just want to know how Mikan is doing." She placed her right arm onto my shoulder and brushed my hair. "Don't flatter yourself way too much, arrogant cousin. Instead of being grateful that someone like me is concerned about your health and your life, you are aggravated and always frowning. Ugh, why do I have to have a cousin like you."

"Ha! Maybe I should be the one saying that." Ken scorned giving Misaki one of his maddening expressions.

"Oh yeah?" Misaki yelled and began hitting him playfully.

I was a little out of place but I'm happy to see these two fighting. They looked so close. I almost remembered the times when Hotaru, Anna, Nonoko, and I are playing around like nothing matter. A tear flowed from my eye and when I realized I cried I quickly wiped it. "Misaki, I need to go. I promised Nobara I should meet her when five comes and if I don't hurry up I'll be late." I excused myself.

They stopped what they are doing. She smiled and patted my shoulder. "Alright, but we'll talk some other day."

"Okay."

Actually, I lied. Nobara and I never had plans and truthfully I just want to be away from the people. I sniffed the sweet scent of the season and I realized I was away from the public. And just like that, I cried. Maybe because I don't like here and I want to be with my friends outside, maybe because no one cares about me here, maybe because I regretted coming here, maybe because I came here to avoid Natsume and not for myself, maybe because I have things in my mind that I can't say out loud coz no one will listen, and maybe because I really don't belong anywhere. I sat at the grassy land and continued my crying. Why do I have to be like this? I should be happy. With this, Natsume and Sumire can continue their love story which could not be progressed if I'm around, hurting.

I gave up my school, my friends, my happiness, my freedom. I sniffed the air once again hoping it would at least relieve the pain but it didn't instead it sent me memories. Sad memories; it swamped my mind. I remembered the way Natsume _loved_ me. I slapped my cheeks to stop me from reminiscing but it didn't help. He treated me as a trash. He only respected me when Sumire told him to. We kissed but that was nothing for him. I rejected Ruka just to be with him. The whole school is talking about how idiotic I am. I bear it all. Their hurtful stares, their bad mouths, Natsume's hurtful words, his doings and every single sorrow I felt since I started to be with him. I bore it all.

"I knew you're gonna cry."

As soon as I heard that frustrating voice, I looked up. "What are you doing here Ken?"

"I hate to see you crying when you are happy just before."

I wiped the tears but it didn't stop from flowing. "I wasn't expecting you to be here. So much effort huh." He really is concerned about me. I can't believe I'm saying this but I'm happy to be one of his friends.

Ken sat down beside me and seized my arms for a hug. A hug, I miss it. This hug made me cried more. "I just can't be happy." I confessed. My head lay on his chest as he held those arms of mine into his. "I can't move on. I just can't. I can't do anything. I'm a loner, I'm useless and I have no value to anyone."

"Shut up. You've got it all wrong. You are not a loner, you are not useless and more importantly you have a value." He caressed my hair and held me closer to him. He was comforting me.

"You are just saying that because I'm crying."

Ken hit my head lightly with his fist. "Moron, do I look like that type of person?"

I cried more. "Yes you do." I laughed. "Have you ever wondered why people met?"

He shrugged. "I really don't care."

I knew he would say that but I still continued. "Because," I released myself from his soothing hug, wiped my tears and tried to smile at him, "they will make you happy." He watched me for a moment and chuckled. At that short answer I know he got the message. "What? You thought I would say something nonsense and long."

"No, I've figured that out."

"Liar."

I don't know but what happened today will definitely change the friendship level Ken and I have. I can talk to him now every time, for sure. Mood swings, changing decisions, unstable way of thinking, being haunted by the past, it all tells that I can have some psychological sickness but I don't. I am just sad but I'm healthy and in the right mind. Now that I am not very problematic anymore, I will start to become the ideal me which my mom can be proud of and if one day I got to see my old friends again and Natsume they will all be shocked on how much I have changed. Maybe we were on our mid-20 then and I promise from this day onwards, I will live.

_To live is to be happy in your own way, to be free in your own meaning of being free, to be peaceful in your own view, to be strong in your own, to be the inspiration you've dreamt of, to be the person you wanted, to be the best in your own explanation, to be inspired, to dream. To be you is to live._

* * *

_Live life fully while you're here. Experience everything. Take care of yourself and your friends. Have fun, be crazy, be weird. Go out and screw up! You're going to anyway, so you might as well enjoy the process. Take the opportunity to learn from your mistakes: find the cause of your problem and eliminate it. Don't try to be perfect; just be an excellent example of being human.__  
__**-Anthony Robbins**_

**END OF CHAPTER**

**5, 414 words. Not bad huh. It has been more than a month since I've updated and this long chapter is my way of saying SORRY FOR THE WAIT. I mean, this is the fourth chapter for four months and that is kinda slow. But now I just updated, please do your best on REVIEWING. By reviewing, you could not just make the author happy but let her be aware of her flaws and her strengths. So I advice you to keep reviewing. Go. **

**Don't forget to leave a sweet review. :)**

**V**

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	5. The Story

**The Second Book**

**Chapter Five: The Story**

**Written by: **_**keaRy anCe**_

"I thought that this could be a good time for us to bond more." Nobara said for, I don't know, the thousandth time? She crashed into my room in a good Saturday morning for this sudden trip. I am really a heavy sleeper and I didn't get enough sleep last night because I'm still not used with my room and the different atmosphere. "It's also boring in the academy so going out will be enjoyable than before. Don't worry, Misaki and I have prepared everything." I hate to say this but Nobara is really, really, _really _planning to set me up with Ken.

"Yeah, but with Ken? Nobara, this is the girls' night out. That's what you said." I muttered, slightly disappointed. I brushed some leaves on the spot where the tent will be built. Misaki is busy scattering all the things they have brought while her cousin is doing nothing.

Nobara pouted. She really likes doing that. "But I can't seem to find enjoyment if there isn't a twist." I rolled my eyes and yawned. Twist she says? I don't see one. All of her efforts would be wasted that's for sure because I don't like Ken.

"You're wasting your time." I said casually and she just giggled. "Trust me." But she didn't listen anyway.

"Hey, you two. Just help us with the tent." We heard Misaki called. Nobara ran right away to her and as for me, I don't. I sat under the shade of a tree and tried to wake up my senses by sleeping. Yeah, for I could be cheerful again I need to rest. The leaves ruffled and I opened my eyes in a snap to see Ken staring at me. I backed off a little. I also heard Nobara squealed. What the heck.

I groaned. "Why are you here? I'm sleeping." He's disturbing my sleep and people with an attitude like that are what I hate the most.

He sat beside me and leaned his arm on his right knee which is uplifted and the other one is just lying relaxed on the ground. "What should I do for you to stop being awkward around me?" He sounded innocent and somewhat affronted but he's not, in reality.

"You wanna know?" I sighed and looked down on the lake which is just in front of me. He want an answer, I'll give him an answer. "Actually, nothing. It's just me." That's the truth. I'm having debates in my mind right now so the problem is just me.

He shrugged his shoulders and accepted my answer. "I'm curious about your ex-boyfriend." He said. Is he never gonna stop? Well, I can't blame him because it was me who keeps on remembering Natsume and then come crying on his shoulders about him.

"Why?" I asked him in an inquisitive tone too.

Closing his eyes, he talked. "He made you this crazy. What did he do to make you fall for him badly in the first place?"

"It started on the mountains." I lied.

"A tribe?" He joked.

"No, you idiot. At first, I only have a crush on him and then when he brought me to his favorite place that's when I started to realize that I really love him." Well, I sounded so stupid when I said that but it's the truth and it is much better than a lie.

He laughed at my words. Maybe he is thinking how childish I am. "Did you two kissed?"

I gulped. "What kind of question is that?" I chuckled and faced him back. Yes, we did. Two times. But it's too embarrassing to say that especially to a boy. Especially to Ken. Kissing is also a sensitive topic. Damn him, he talks it like it's nothing.

I sensed that he was amused at my reaction. "Why are you so nervous? I repeat did you two kissed?" He repeated with a grin. I refused to answer.

"That's none of your business." I said to end the conversation.

But he still talked. What an insensitive jerk. "Oh, so you did. How many times?" He is not stopping, is he?

I turned and pushed him a bit. "Why are you even asking? It's my love life you know."

"Friends care for each other." He didn't mean that. He only said that to make an excuse but in reality he is a busybody. What a stupid, good for nothing busybody.

"Sometimes they don't have to." I backfired.

He twitched his eyes upward. "Well, kissing is normal these days so why do you need to hide it?" He looked at me and with those black eyes of him saying that I should spill it.

I breathed hard and said. "Because," I said with my voice louder, "it is none of your business."

"I'll just guess. Seven?" He nonchalantly said.

I was taken aback for a bit. "What? What do you think of me? That's too many."

"Oh, so you have kissed." He smiled slyly.

I shook my head and glanced away. "No, I'm not proving anything."

He nodded slowly and started guessing again. "Then let's make it four?"

"I'm a kid." I pointed out.

"Three?" He asked.

"Still a kid!" I protested with my voice louder.

"How about two?" He said with a different tone.

I didn't reply.

"It's two, isn't it?" He grinned. "And I thought I would be the first." He teased. He was joking so I didn't yell or shout at him. No way can he like me and dream of kissing me. Yuck, even thinking that makes me icky all over.

"Stop teasing me and they might hear you and get the wrong idea."

"Let them get the wrong idea."

I can't talk. "Are you insane?" I asked him, making sure if he is still on his right mind.

"I'm not." He defended. "I'm being serious here and you are the one who is taking it as a joke." He added.

I get it. I shrieked a laugh. "Why do you like teasing me so much?" I wanted to get a decent answer from him but I know he won't give me that so I never expected one.

"Coz you are weird."

"Ouch." I acted hurt. "Coming from you, it doesn't affect me at all." I mocked at him.

He smiled a bit and neared his face on mine but I distanced immediately. "Can you tell me the name of the guy so the time I see him I would punch his face?" He is so interested with my past that I'm trying to forget,

I raised an eyebrow. "Why would you do something so brutal like that? Besides, he is nameless." I lied. He wouldn't know anyway and to do something like that would be pointless. I don't care about him anymore and it's not like we could see each other again.

"Nameless?" He asked. In his eyes, I could tell he really wants to know.

"Yes. I don't even know his name." I said seriously and even if I am obviously and a hundred percent lying, I still said it like it was true. I don't want him to be the topic of our conversation every time. Natsume should not be crossing my mind coz I'm pretty sure that he is not thinking of me, even a bit. I'm sure he is making out with that snake Sumire in the locker room after every P.E lesson.

"You're really no fun." He leaned his head on the bark of the tree.

I slapped his forehead lightly that made him winced a little. "Then find someone you could tease other than me."

He groaned and slapped back my forehead but his is hard. Ouch. That hurts. "Oh come on. I'm like this with everybody but with you it's a different level so consider yourself lucky." What does he mean by that? I do not care. "Other girls out there could do the most desperate thing on Earth just to see me while you, it's me who is coming to you. Don't you feel flattered?"

"Yeah right. I am so honored." I whispered sarcastically. "Whatever!" I yelled. "So what? I don't like you to be so close to me you know!"

"What if we tell each other our secrets?" He changed the topic and just ignored my outburst.

I changed my sitting position. "Why are you so talkative today?" I asked while looking at the view lying in front of us.

He looked the same direction I am glancing. "Why do you always answer with a question?"

I rolled my eyes. "Because I don't want to answer your questions. It's very personal and sometimes nonsense."

He sighed. "How many times have you dated? Is he the first?"

"When will you stop, you sicko?" I muttered calmly. The wind passed us and it is really fresh. I can still hear Nobara and Misaki's voices from here. The surroundings became quiet all of a sudden; the wind is different, very different. There is something about this wind and I couldn't tell if the pressure has changed or the weather has changed completely because it is gushing strongly. The cold wind is so fragrant and I stared at Ken. Could it be?

"Until you answer me truthfully." He snapped my thoughts out.

I continued to stare at him. "You won't get an honest answer from me. I assure you that." Trees continued to sway and the leaves are already falling down.

"Very well, I guess I just have to bug Nobara instead of you." He stood up.

I shrugged my shoulders and smiled in relief. Now he is going to stop bugging me. What a relief. "Good. That is the most genius decision you have made. Congratulations. I am so proud of you my friend."

"You sound as if you don't like me to bug someone else." He smirked at me.

My eyes narrowed. "Ugh, just go!" I yelled, shooing him away.

He thought for a while and sat back, this time it was so close to me that I couldn't breathe. "I've changed my mind. It's more fun to make fun of you."

I buried my head on my knees. "How about you? How many girlfriends you had?" I decided to change the topic, it is better to talk about him than my past and I want to hear so many things from him.

"I won't answer you truthfully." He reminded,

"I knew it." I sighed and decided to talk to him formally. "Aren't you tired of being popular? With all the letters, stares, attention you've been receiving, aren't you tired of it? When I first saw you, you have accused me as your fan girl and I could not help but think that you are so damn arrogant that hates his fans but loves them by the way." Now I think of it, he is not normal. His mind could change anytime. Maybe this guy has some issues.

"Who would get tired of fame? It makes me a hot topic so letting go of it would be absurd." He likes fame because this is the first time he answered me directly.

"But you are not being good with the people who are making you popular in school and take note, even though they you only have the Mind Reading alice it still makes you popular."

"It's the face, baby." He poked my forehead using his, making our face inches away. I could see his good features that drowned me into somewhere for a minute there.

"Tell me, what do you think of Nobara?" I coughed and let go of the contact.

"She's a friend."

"I know but you two are perfect for each other! I mean gray hair with the blue ones." I stopped. Okay, these two colors don't complement each other.

"See? We're not perfect for each other."

"Trust me, it's not just about the hair color." I uplifted my own hopes.

"Stop playing matchmaking. You still think that I'm oblivious that Nobara is setting us up?"

"You knew? But sincerely I hate what she's doing. No offence to her but I really want her to stop but she seems enjoying make fun of me so I'm just letting her do what she wants in the meantime but when she got a little bit overboard, I will stop her. I know you don't like what she's doing also and it's a bit embarrassing for my part."

"I don't know if setting me up to the both of you is a part of your plans."

"Hey! She doesn't even know that I like you for her."

"Suit yourself." He frankly said.

"Don't you like her? I mean, she is beautiful, feminine, a strong alice user, a responsible student and kind. _Come on_, why can't you see that? She is close to perfect." I shook his shoulders for him to realize that Nobara is perfect for him.

"She's boring. You forgot that fact." He said and removed my hands on his shoulders.

"What's that supposed to mean? When I'm with here I'm having fun." I reasoned.

"It means what it meant."

I shook my head and defended my friend. "Nobara is definitely not boring. Ask her on a date and prove it to yourself."

"I don't date girls. I never dated one. So does that answer your question before?"

"Probably. So you don't want to date anyone in the near future?" I added another question. O love this, it's like an interview and it's an exclusive one.

He chuckled first and talked. What a ceremony. "Girls are problems. Too clingy, too loud, bipolar, demanding, always get jealous and commitment is a trash. I want to have fun. I'm young and I don't need them. Not to mention that some of them don't even pass my standards."

I am offended! Super! Darn him, he is so insensitive and numb. "You know what? While you're saying that I just think that boys could be so damn. . . .evil! Girls aren't a bunch of shits. We need care, love, concern, and commitment. I know you are probably thinking that I'm stupid to say these things but I'm not, okay? I just hate hearing that."

"Is it the same words your ex-boyfriend told you?"

I shook my head. "No. He didn't even talk to me in a normal conversation. So how could he say that and the last time we talked is when we broke up and all he could say is sorry. He just broke up with his childhood friend slash girlfriend and I accidentally heard it." I took a deep breath and continued. "I asked him what can I do for him and he said "Be my girl." and I agreed. It is stupid and fast but I like it. I told myself that this could be my first and last chance so I better go for it and I did. My friends don't agree with me especially my best friend but I didn't listen, I listened to my heart. Time passed and he didn't show anything for me, he is always with the girl. Then after a few reconciliations, I broke up with him coz it's hurting me so much and I'm hurting this one person too."

"I didn't know that someone could actually like you." He insulted. Okay, so he has good looks but so what, he has a bad attitude and that is so turning me off. As if he cares for my opinions.

"Seriously, you can't be silent for just one minute." I glared at him and he just chuckled and signaled me to continue. I did. "That's the end of the story." I fast forwarded.

"You've skipped many parts." He upsettingly pointed out.

I widened my eyes and yelled at his face. "That's because you interrupted _and _insulted me. Have a nice day!"

I stomped all the way to Misaki. That rude guy, at least be thankful that I told him that. I never told anyone about that incomplete and semi-lie story so be grateful you jerk! I helped Misaki in arranging the fire woods.

"What are you talking about with my dumb cousin?" She asked as she threw her bag on the tent.

I sat down on the trunk placed right beside my tent. "Oh! Nothing just about the girls he dumped." I lied. I always lie these past few days and I'm afraid that I might get used to it but I'm not a liar before. Well, it's for the best.

"But he looks like serious." Misaki called.

I shrugged my shoulders and glance for a moment at him. "I don't know. Maybe he is feeling guilty for his girls." I just said.

"Him? Yeah right. He's cold and dumb. I wonder what the girls saw in him? He's also secretive and sometimes he will get your trust but honestly he just wanted something from you. He could be the most evil thing on Earth if you ask me."

"He is your cousin." I giggled.

"Not! I'm smart unlike him."

We laughed together but Misaki's words stayed on my mind. Ken could be a user? He will befriend you to get the thing he wanted. I don't understand. Why? I should be careful around him. I knew it, he is not trustable. Ken Nagihiko. I should ask mom about him.

* * *

I went to Mom the other day in an early morning to avoid people from seeing me and I was successful.

"Hey, how was your trip?" She walked while smiling towards her table and simultaneously we sat down. "Are you already adapted to the academy life? Are you having fun?" Mom, hush. I wanted to tell her that.

"Mom, I'm not here for that but I'm sure you won't stop bugging me until I answer your questions. Yes, we did have a short trip and yes I'm adapting to my new life." I told her and I can see she's happy for me. "Ken Nagihiko. Did you know him?" I told my purpose.

She thought for a while, trying to remember the name. "He is a special student you know. The higher ups have their eyes on him. He is giving him full access on the school files and secrets. I don't know why he is so important and I am not allowed to blurt these things but since you're my daughter, I assume you are planning something. Does he catch your attention to make you come here?"

"Not really." I smirked. "Mom, he's a multi-alice user right?"

"Affirmative."

"He is planning something about me. I'm a hot topic on the higher ups too you know but in my case, it's super confidential but Ken seems to be exposed to a tiny information regarding me." I stated all of my observations.

"Take care when you're with him. He is not ordinary." She warned and I nodded.

"I know. Thank you Mom. You're a big help." I smiled.

"What are you planning with him?" She asked again, quite amused. In know what she is thinking right now but no, I don't like him.

"I don't know. Maybe I'll play along and discover what he is up to." I said instead.

She laughed hard. "That's not your plan."

That made me smiled. "You are definitely my mother."

"Of course I am." She proudly said.

"Bye then. I'll catch you later."

"Bye, Mikan."

Now this is fun. I have to investigate about Ken and act as well. I can't wait to use my alices. It's been a while so I may be surprise by the changes. Until I prove something, I have to be sure to limit my abilities. I don't want to lose them also so being careful is the least I could do.

**End of Chapter**

* * *

I have to finish this chapter as soon as possible because I'll be leaving for college tomorrow and there will be no internet connection in my house for a while so even though it's short I uploaded it.

**What do you think?**

**Care to review? **


	6. Disclosure and Feelings

**The Second Book**

**Chapter Six: **_**Disclosure and Feelings **_

**Written by: **_**keaRy anCe**_

"I want to know about Mikan." Those are the words came from Natsume's mouth. Everyone was surprised when Natsume approached Hotaru during their break. For them, it was a rare scene. Everyone in the class gets intrigued why Natsume asked for her. They aren't sure anymore if the reason has got anything to do with Mikan since she transferred schools months ago but they are determined to listen to their conversation.

"You don't need to know anything." Hotaru replied frankly, her voice is cold and her tone is the same.

Natsume urged to explain more. "Imai. I'm asking this out of pity." He was stating the truth and he wants Hotaru to see that he is being serious on finding Mikan.

Still, she didn't budge. "What? You love her now?"

Natsume didn't answer. "I just-" he paused for a bit, "want to see her smiling face again." His reason is lame and not enough but that is his purpose for now. He doesn't want to lie about it. He will do anything to make her talk.

"You should have felt that way when she loved you but you blew it and I'm afraid that she will never see you again as her life." She replied. She does not care of his feelings or his determination to find her best friend. "You blew all your chances. She gave you days, weeks to change but you threw it all and now you're actually here looking for her." She laughed in sarcasm and disbelief.

"I'm aware of that."

"Then why are you still asking me if you knew I won't answer you?" Hotaru mocked coldly and exited.

"Dammit." Natsume cursed. He really wanted to talk to Mikan but the problem is he can't find her and he has no idea where to start hunting her so he swallowed his pride and approached Hotaru even though he knew she won't tell a thing. He searched on the internet to have a hint at least but there's no record of her which he finds odd. He also tried to ask the school but nothing came out also.

He leaned on the wall, sat down and closed his eyes because of irritation. He doesn't know what to do anymore. His time of stay here is going to be over soon and yet he hasn't accomplished anything about Mikan. In the middle of his thoughts, he heard footsteps. A figure sat beside him. He knew who it was. She was here to confront him.

"You're avoiding me." The voice talked. Natsume opened her eyes and looked at the girl.

"I don't have the time to talk to you now, Sumire." He replied coldly. His tiredness is eating him up. His mind can't process normally and his body is feeling all worn out.

Sumire made a protesting move. "That's a bull. You are sitting here doing nothing. You just don't want to see me. Natsume, why? Is it because of Mikan?"

"She is none of your business."

"Natsume!" Sumire's eyes raged in anger and she is catching her breath. "You always say that but clearly it is my damn business! I'm your girlfriend. I want to know everything about you. I am not satisfied to only what I see. I want to know more than that. Before, you always tell me everything and you let me see through you but after she came I don't know anymore. Your guilt is out of place. She left for Pete's sake. It is not your fault, it's her choice. You shouldn't be this affected. I hate seeing you like this."

Natsume realized how much burden he is to Sumire. She thinks of him. "Let's go back." He only said. He stood up but Sumire held his arm making him stop form his walking.

"We are not going back until we finished this talk." She said in authority.

He think for a while before replying, his voice seems tired so as his face. "Sumire. I'm just feeling guilty. You know me. You know how my fault affects me so just let me do everything my way. In the meantime, it's time for us to go back at the academy."

Sumire didn't reply. "So Spring Fest is coming huh?"

"Right and we promised to stay here weeks before it happens."

"I'm sure that everyone is waiting for us." Sumire is looking forward on going home. She will taste the feeling of being superior again.

"Probably."

It's been almost a year since they went away. They have given the permission to leave Alice Academy because of the request of Sumrie Shouda, the granddaughter of one of the founders of the academy. There's been a family problem that occurred last year on the Shoudas. Her father, Sato Shouda, was accused as the Anti-Alice Organization's current insider to bring down the academy so conflicts rose and Sato is afraid that his daughter might also take the effect of the, according to him, wrong accusations. The only thing that came up to his mind to save his daughter from any discrimination is to send her out temporarily and after a year she should go back. Sumire complained at first, she doesn't want to back out and escape their problems and moreover she doesn't want to leave Natsume. Weeks haves passed and Sumire stayed so her father decided to hire Natsume as her personal bodyguard since he is the Academy's top alice user and at the same time her boyfriend.

After this, Sumire agreed and they had given a permit to leave but there's a condition: One, no using of Alice. Second, Alice Academy and Alice should not be said or regarded by any means. That's the only condition they need to follow. Their permission to leave is approved by more than half of the academy's board of trustees. Their allowances are given so obviously, they have nothing to worry about only their safety because AAO might attack them and have them as their newest assets but so far nothing like that has happened.

That's the whole story of their coming to Sumiasen High.

That's how everything started.

Sumire held hands with Natsume and swayed it gently. "Natsume. I don't want us to talk about Mikan Sakura anymore. She is not our business. Let's end our discussion about that girl here." She didn't let Natsume talked more because she knew in her heart that he can't do that. "Do you think father has been saved?" She changed the topic.

"They wouldn't contact us if not."

Sumire shrugged her shoulders. "I know but that doesn't mean that everything's fine now."

Natsume wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her forehead. "Don't worry. I'm here."

Sumire smiled and hugged him back. "I know that's why I can't help but feel happy."

Meters away, these two didn't know that Hotaru and Ruka is watching them. These two witnesses how sweet Sumire and Natsume are to each other.

"The nerve of him to ask where Mikan is." Hotaru gritted her teeth.

Ruka looked away. He also wants to know where Mikan is but what can he do? Hotaru won't tell anything. "I know what he feels. It's not easy for him." He sided with Natsume.

"Well, it's his fault in the first place. He is trying to find her to clean his conscience. He does not love her so when Mikan and him meet again, I'm very sure that she will be heartbroken to pieces again. And I don't want that to happen. It's enough."

Ruka's hope rose. "So you know where she is?"

Hotaru faced him. "She didn't even say goodbye. Do you expect me to know where she is?"

"We are expecting you to give us a hint." He asked and hoped.

Hotaru smirked. She won't do that, ever. It's a secret, a family secret to be exact. She was lucky enough for the Sakuras to trust her about that secret. But she knew that eventually, Natsume and Mikan will find each other but she is not letting that happen this early. Sooner or later, things that aren't finished will end. She is sure of that after all she knows _everything_.

"Sometimes, it's better to leave everything the way it is." That's the answer he gave to Ruka.

* * *

Anna, Hotaru, Yuu, Nonoko and Ruka are having their lunch.

"Spring is coming. The best season of all!" Nonoko exclaimed as she kept munching her food. Yuu is actually looking forward on this season also so as Anna. "Leaves fall, weather's fine, our clothes are not too thick and not too thin and the best of all it's gonna be a party!" She continued with her voice squeaking.

Anna nodded her head repeatedly in happiness and excitement. She swallowed her food and accidentally glanced into the direction where Sumire and Natsume are eating. Her happy expression suddenly changed. "I don't know why but I still feel angry to those two." She said.

Ruka also looked at the two. "It takes time to heal a wound. Maybe Mikan left because of a reason."

Anna shrugged and continued her eating; her emotion is still the same. "If it weren't for them, I bet Mikan's here joining us at our laughter and thrill for the coming spring." She looks like she hasn't the will to eat more. "What a waste."

"She hasn't called yet and we don't have any news about her. Sometimes, it also worries me. Her data on school has been mysteriously deleted too." Yuu informed. "It's like she really don't want us to find her anymore."

"Maybe she did that on purpose." Nonoko concluded. "Since she is going to leave, she does not want us to follow her or see her but I know when the right time comes we will all reunite. What do you think Hotaru?" Nonoko gave a hopeful look that Hotaru might agree to her.

Hotaru who is listening carefully to her friends' exchange of words and ideas about Mikan replied. "She left. It's just Mikan. What she did is normal. Everyone can transfer schools."

"Her reasons are not normal." Anna quickly added.

Hotaru's faced frowned. "Her reason is childish."

Anna wanted to protest but Yuu interrupted.

"Why don't we go back to our classroom? We have a test remember?" He smiled nervously and stood up.

Hotaru and Anna hushed down. They finished their food and walked towards the classroom. Ruka changed directions which made Yuu asked where he will go.

"Ruka, classroom's here." Yuu said, confused.

"I know. I'll just catch up later." Yuu cocked an eyebrow but still continued on walking.

Ruka wants to see Natsume and talk to him, man to man. He is still involved in this because his liking towards Mikan didn't change a bit. He wants answers directly from him. He just can't be satisfied by sitting in one corner and observing at everything.

"Ruka." A rough voice stopped him from searching for his best friend. The figure walked forward, his hands on his pockets, and his crimson eyes are looking bored.

Ruka quickly looked on the voice's direction. "Let's talk."

"What is it you want to talk about?" He knows who their topic will be but he still wants to come it from Ruka.

"You know who." Ruka growled.

Natsume remained at his standing. "I know you like her but that doesn't mean that you can meddle with our problem." He said growling, more irritation is sensed in his growl.

"I still like her." Ruka said with so much purity. "Even though the reason she left was you I still can't help but to like her." He confessed. "So what can't you like about her? She loved you, isn't that enough?" he finally asked what he want.

"I am not interested with her. You know how much I feel for Sumire."

"Natsume, stop being the bad guy. I know you came to like her."

"I don't." Natsume rapidly denied.

Ruka looked away and smirked in doubt. "Really? Because that is not what I'm seeing in you."

"Look, I'm guilty, okay? I don't like her. She's not my type and she is clingy, an idiot, and I don't like a girl with a personality like that. My mind is so messed up when she came to me and said that she will help me with my problems and besides I didn't even know that she likes me so I was also surprised to see her happy and accepting my stupid offer. I thought I can recognize her and see her as my girlfriend but I can't." Natsume did his best to explain his side.

Ruka gritted his teeth. "Hearing that from you makes me want to punch you."

"Do you think I deserve that?" Natsume sounded so arrogant.

Ruka smirked and grabbed Natsume by the collar. "She loved you. So much. I witnessed her love for you. When she cries, I always tell her that maybe you are adjusting since you don't know each other too well but the when she cried more that's when I convinced myself, you don't deserve her love." His voice is angry and high but Natsume is doing nothing. "She still proved that she loves you by leaving. Can't you get it? You changed her life. You brought her into a different course and yet you don't care. How dare you. How dare you make her cry."

"I won't deny it. I played her feelings. I actually had fun." Ruka gripped his collar harder. "But I won't feel guilty if she didn't make me happy in those times that we're together."

Ruka loosen his grip and looked down. "Why didn't you tell her that sooner?" He asked with grieve.

"Because I still don't love her."

Natsume regained his composure and left Ruka who is smiling and looked angry at the same time.

"When you see her, just make sure I'll be the first to know." He whispered to no one.

**End of Chapter**

* * *

**Wow! I waited for this chapter to come. I miss Natsume. It was so long since he made his appearance and now he is here again. If you notice, Sumire and Natsume's story here is fast forwarded that's because I plan to elaborate the story on the upcoming chapters but I hope you understood it.**

**Review please?**


	7. Days before the Meet

**The Second Book**

**Chapter Seven**

_**Days before the Meet**_

**Written by: **_**keaRy anCe**_

Hotaru is not being the usual _her_ today.

It's been what, four months? Four months and many more to count. She misses her best friend. The day Mikan decided the most immature and yet hardest decision in her life is also the day Hotaru knew that Mikan is destined for Alice Academy. After all, you cannot escape fate. Truly, she is longing for her presence and she swore that she will protect Mikan from Natsume Hyuuga, the boy who changed it all. It is not possible in her current location right now but sooner she can and she will.

She began to wonder. How Mikan is doing? Maybe she is being friendly and became the class clown also. Or maybe not. Is she having a good communication with her mother or they are still keeping everything a secret? She can't tell. It's hard to tell. All she can do now is pray that she is doing just fine. She didn't imagine that it will be this complicated in the future. She thought there won't be any changes, well, she thought wrong.

* * *

Yuu is having a headache. "Spring Fest is fun but it sure gives a lot of headache." He complained and threw away the papers containing the budget, the materials, the program, and many more. Being the president is not so cool after all. Other officers are just slacking off and doesn't even care or want to work for the success of the Spring Fest. All work is left to him, as usual.

Ruka laughed. "That's your work. Too bad." Ruka isn't part of the Student Council. He's just a good friend and a concerned student. Yuu asked for his help too in regulating the money given by the school which is harder this year because all of a sudden students wanted a grand festival. They wanted to add so many stalls and wanted to invite other schools as well meaning that they should really mock what they can. They should do their best.

Yuu closed his notebook and prayed that his migraine will now go away. "You and Natsume used to be close, right?" The president asked. He is not the type of person who wants gossip, he is the type of person who gets curious.

Ruka examined the paper containing the budget once more and sighed. "Why do you unexpectedly ask?"

Based on Ruka's tone, he does not want to talk about it but Yuu is really curious. "What happened, dude? It's like you are mortal enemies. I never saw you talk or with each other since he became Mikan's boyfriend." It's a fact though. Yuu is hoping that Ruka would get the message he wanted to relay.

"Dude, things change. I don't even know how it happened but it did." The animal-lover answered. "We were so close before we transfer here and then after that he spends most of his time with Shouda and I am not stupid not to notice that Shouda wants Natsume all by herself too. I'm not being gay or anything Yuu, it's just that I don't like the reason and the outcome of those changes."

Even though Yuu hasn't even has the slightest idea what happened in their old school, he still has some theories. "Maybe he has his reasons which we cannot understand. I mean, Hyuuga-kun is not that open and it is hard to tell with that cold demeanor what he is thinking."

"Whatever is that, it doesn't change the fact that he's a jerk." Ruka said. "He is a fool and pathetic." He added.

He was quite correct but sometimes what we cannot see is more important than what we can. "Ruka. It's easy to judge a person, really. But you are his best friend you should know him better than that."

"Well knowing him, he can do that." He retorted.

Yuu nodded. Maybe he cannot do this alone. He, together with the others, wanted Ruka and Natsume to be in good terms again. "Before you transfer here, was he like that? Was he like that to Sumire?"

"No. But he became like that because of her." Again, he is blaming Sumire.

Yuu cannot believe that Ruka and Natsume's friendship went really down. "Tell me Ruka, you fought with Natsume because of Mikan?"

Ruka closed his eyes. "No, Yuu. We're not going that far and I'm just angry at him for being such a feeble man." He opened it again. "Mikan don't want this either if she is here. She will feel that she's the bad person and I don't want that to happen. To tell you the truth, I was never angry when they became an item. I'm actually happy for Mikan because finally, after all this time she's with Natsume they became couple but she is crying. She even wanted to die because of him." His tone is sad. Ruka remembered those times. "I don't want that."

Ruka has a point. Yuu can see that point.

"What kind of school you attended before you came here?" Yuu asked again.

"Do you need to know?"

Yuu shrugged his shoulders and smiled. "I'm interested. _We're _interested. You guys are all awesome in everything and besides you never did tell us where, not even once."

"It's forbidden." He frankly replied.

Ruka made Yuu think. "Huh? Is your school that strict?"

"You could say that." The blonde haired dude smiled. "Actually, we had a hard time avoiding to talk about that by any means but it's a good thing we get used to it. Everything can be achieved through time."

"Do you think Mikan did?"

Ruka's expression became emotionless. "I hope so."

* * *

A very lovely Friday came into Alice Academy's calendar. A week from now Spring Dance will come. Everything is settled except for the decorations that will be use. Everyone in the Student Council is rushing to reach the deadline. They even asked help from their friends to make the work faster but high in quality. Teachers didn't involved themselves this year because they wanted it to be a product of the students' hard work.

"Why am I doing this again?" I asked myself and Nobara as I put glitter in these ribbons. I am personally actually having fun but there is one thing that made me feel limited. Limited in terms of moving.

Nobara laughed. "_Because _you love me and I love you too." She reasoned as she applied glue on the next ribbon.

"That's not a reason." I frowned.

She sighed making her shoulders move too. "It is Mikan. Now stop being so grumpy and just help me." Now, she counted all the works we have done and put checks on her list.

"Nobara, as much as I want to but the big question is why is Ken also here?"

She smiled, as if she can explain it fully. "That's easy. Well, he simply volunteered."

"I knew it."

"What?" She acted like she doesn't know a soul.

I finished the ribbon and looked at her. "You are again setting us up." I darkly said.

She nodded while smiling. "Don't you find that blue hair amazing? How about his super black eyes? His voice? His breathtaking face? Don't you find it all, _wow_?" I chuckled. This is the same type of question I asked Ken regarding her. Wait, this is a cycle. In the end, we will all go to nothing.

Still chuckling, I ask. "I'm asking you that. Don't you find it wow?"

"Mikan. Stop escaping." Was all she said.

I narrowed my eyes. "Where?" I don't understand her. Nobara, she's, she's making assumptions that is _accidentally _and _horrifying _true. "More like, on what?"

She made a deep sigh. "To love!"

I almost gag. What a cheesy exasperated sentence she got there. "Nobara. Please don't make me hate you. Don't be silly. Love, it is not applicable to everyone. Believe me."

Nobara rolled her eyes. "Love is for everyone, Mikan. Believe me. About the hate thing, it is not possible. I know you, you are too kind for that."

_If you only knew Nobara that I'm here at the academy because of so much hate. _"How can you tell? We've only known each other for months Nobara. There are many things that you still don't know about me."

"Let's just say that I really think that is you."

I eyed her. "You shouldn't trust me that much. Because your expectations might terribly affect your judgment on me in the future."

"You sound like something bad is going to happen in the future." She frowned and gave that worried look.

I shook my head. "Not really but you know, maybe I have this very bad attitude that you might hate me for. I'm just saving you from disappointment."

"Stop talking like that Mikan. You are making me nervous."

"Oh, sorry." I just blurted things I should not have said out loud. I'm not thinking again. "So, I just need to put these in the storage room?"

"Yes, please." She confirmed, still not smiling

I should not really have said those words.

I carried the box full of excessive decorations toward the storage room. I placed it carefully there. Spring Dance is coming and Nobara asked me to help in decorating the venue that will be needed in the said event. Of course I said I'm willing to help because I really am and it won't be a waste of time, I know that. I dusted off the dirt out of my hand and turned and gasped.

"What the hell! Are you trying to kill me?" I yelled at the person before me.

"No." He answered.

Is he playing a joke on me? "Then don't go scaring people like that." I stepped out. "Why are you even here?" I asked acidly. "Shouldn't you be in your own room and waiting for this upcoming dance to end since you don't want to be a part of it?"

"Oh? Have you forgotten? I'm going." He proudly said. I stared at him. I've forgotten. What am I thinking these past few days? It's like, I'm so lost.

"Really?" Was all I managed to say.

Ken smirked at me. "I know you're feeling ecstatic inside."

"In your dreams."

His smirk grew wider. "I knew you will say that."

"If you knew, you shouldn't have said it." I started walking and so he does. He always follows me. Doesn't he ever get tired? Ken, don't you ever get tired? I want to ask him that and I will when he will give me the hint that we are having a decent talk.

"That is my purpose. To hear from you those words again." Judging from those words, we are far from a decent talk.

"Yeah, yeah whatever."

"Are you in a bad mood?" I'm not but I want to. I want to push him away.

"Yes." I lazily said.

"Why?"

"Because you're here."

"That actually hurts."

"Doesn't seem like it."

I just rolled my eyes and frowned at him more and continued walking but due to my superior idiocy and sudden blindness, I tripped, no, I _badly _tripped. Gosh, this is very humiliating. I lose my poise and my composure in front of this guy. My face fell flat on the floor and it hurts! I can sense that Ken is trying his best not to laugh while I try pushing myself up. I stood up and continued walking, pretending like nothing happened. When I thought I am successful in avoiding the issue, Ken took my arm and stopped me.

"You're crying." He just put into words what is currently happening on me right now.

I avoided his stare and wiped off my tears. "So what." I bitterly answered. Why am I crying again? Ah, because I felt like I am in that point of my life again when everything I'm doing is humiliating like being Natsume's girlfriend.

"Look, I won't make fool of you, you idiot." I cried more. He just said 'idiot'! "Though it is really funny but it'll make you cry more so I will refrain." He sounded like he was going to burst out of laughing anytime.

I glared at him and started a small step. I want to run. "Woah, wait." He said. "I don't really know why you're crying but it really doesn't suit you so cheer up." He wiped my tears gently. It was awkward at first and I can feel he knows it too but in the end it hushed me a little. "If it's me, I won't ever make you cry." He whispered.

"What are you saying?" What does he feel like to entail?

"Nothing." He avoided.

"Ken, I'm not deaf and I'm definitely not stupid."

"What are you implying?" He has this witty question thrown on me.

"That I don't like the fact that you are, again, playing jokes on me."

He then now removed his hand from my face. "When will you stop seeing my remarks as a joke?"

"When you get serious." I wiped the remaining tears in my face but it just won't stop! I'm such a drama queen.

"Mikan, why are you still crying?"

"I just remembered something." I left out the details but it is the truth. Before, I was a talker. I was cheerful. I was an optimistic. Was. Past tense. That's me. This is me now. I see things now in a deeper perspective. I am now the kind of person who knows that this world isn't full of positivity. I'm aware that sometimes we need to get hurt bad so we can learn our lesson. I'm also stronger now and more mature. And with these alices, I doubt if someone can belittle me.

"What is it?"

"Why do you care?" I spat.

"I don't like to see you crying. I don't know why I hated when I saw you crying all of a sudden like that but next time don't just cry like that in front of me." I cannot talk. What he said, he sounded so _true, so concerned_. It is so not Ken!

"Ken-"

"Shut up." He said and pulled me into a hug. I was about to talk when he interrupted me. "Shut up." He said once again.

Fine.

But why do I feel like there is something else?

"Ken, don't you ever get tired?" I finally asked him.

**End of Chapter**

* * *

**Review?**

**What can you say?**


	8. Alice

**The Second Book**

**Chapter Eight**

_**Alice**_

**Written by: keaRy anCe**

"Ken, don't you ever get tired?" He is always there though I hate him. Doesn't he get tired for being always there?

He tightened his embrace but no matter how close we are now I still don't feel uncomfortable, as always. "I won't ever get tired when it comes to you." Sweet. Such sweet words he was using upon me. These words that I have longed to hear from Natsume. Now, if I hear those words from him I will feel nothing but disgust.

"Thank you." I muttered. It is time now to break the hug and I'm the one who made the gap. "I'll try my best not to cry again especially when it's because of him." I promised. True that promises are made to be broken and I won't be surprise if I break this promise over and over again but while I have Nobara, Ken and Mom everything is possible now, I don't have to worry much. I don't wanna be a worry wart forever.

"I have something to ask you." I heard him while I was busy wiping my tears.

I lifted my head. "About what?"

"Go with me to the dance." More like an order but hey we're friends after all so I can't find a reason to reject him. Though I was a little surprise that he will randomly ask that and I have prepared myself that no one would want to go with me. I've been isolating myself too much; afraid to be hurt and leave them again. I don't want history to repeat its self.

"You're doing this because of your thousands of fan girls, right?" I want to make it clear. For sure, his fans will make assumptions, bad assumptions that can never be true or gossips, gossips that doesn't have the slightest honesty on it.

"Yeah." He nonchalantly confirmed.

I thought of it for a while again. "Yeah, I agree. Well I'm sure Nobara will be busy and all and I so don't wanna be left alone so I'm taking your offer. It's beneficial for the both of us."

"So, you wanna eat?" He offered. Eat? Of course I want to eat! When did I say "no" to eating? Especially now that I just cried and felt hunger consumed me.

"Treat me?" I teased first but I don't mean it.

He snorted. "Pig."

I snorted too. "Call me pig or whatever but treat me, 'kay? I mean, it's nice when you treat someone. It makes you feel you are close enough to bribe them." I chuckled.

* * *

There is this small fancy bakeshop inside the academy and we have decided to eat there. It's near in the forest but not so far from school. It's not isolated also. The bakeshop is painted in white and gold. It has rows of flowers on both sides of the path leading to the shop. These flowers were fragrant and they have various colors. Even though we're still far from the entrance door, I already saw the lady in charge welcoming us through a smile. Finally we went inside. We took a seat and the chairs are comfy, the table is exactly for two persons and the lighting is not too light and not too dim.

We ordered food that sounds delicious and it came fast.

"So what are your parents like?" I asked and sipped my juice.

"Why so random?"

I shrugged. "I'm out of topics."

"They don't really care about me. With that, I learned to do things on my own. They are respected Alices and I am not surprised why I become this popular, it's basically because of them, next is my good looks." I rolled my eyes and he just smiled at my reaction. "But I never felt hatred towards them. If you look into the person profoundly, you will realize that there is more than meets the eye. I always keep that in mind whenever I see them."

I stared at him in awe. "What?" He asked, confused.

I smiled. "So nice of you to talk about sensible things." I'm actually learning something from him.

"That's real though. I always am serious when it comes to my parents. If I was not born from them, I don't know if I will be an Alice. It's obvious that I love being here though some detests this place and calls it a prison but for me, this is where I belong. You cannot hate the place where you belong."

Alright, I'm really learning a lot of things from him. "Being an Alice is that important to you?"

"Well, I wouldn't meet you right?" I was taken aback. He was glad to be an Alice because he was able to meet me.

I blushed instantly when I heard that, mind you. "Me? Why me?"

"And my friends and every girls in this academy, not to mention the teachers." He finished. Oh. I really thought it was only me. Good. The feeling when he said that is uncomfortable. I swear I had stopped breathing. "Don't you miss your friends outside?" He added a question.

I stared at the ceiling and turned back my gaze to him. "I really do. Missing them is all I can do for now. We're going to stay in this academy until graduation. I just came here and fortunately I don't feel like escaping. Everything I need is here."

"How about everything you wanted?" He added.

I crinkled my nose. "That sounds selfish."

"It's natural." He casually added.

I shrugged and diverted my gaze outside. "I don't know. I don't want to rush things up. I mean, I am still adapting to this weird school where you see flying people everyday so I think that 'want' you are talking about will depend on everything."

He looked unsatisfied with my answer. "Right now, what do you want?"

"Ice cream." I answered. "You?" I quickly added.

"You." He said lowly. Wait, I didn't catch that.

"Huh? What's that?"

"Ice cream too." He sighed.

"I'm pretty sure that is not what I have heard before." I eyed him but he look like he was telling the truth. Fine, I'll let it go. It's not important anyways.

"You must be deaf." My jaw dropped. Just when I was dropping the topic he started insulting me.

I shot him a glare. "No, a deaf couldn't hear. I heard you."

"Oh yeah?" He challenged.

"Yeah."

There was an awkward pause before he talked again. "Hey, I want to show you something."

"What's that?"

"My Alice."

* * *

With all the honesty and sweetness Ken is showing me today I really wanted to ask him: What's with you? Because he just said that he will show me his alice. My assumptions were correct after all, he is a multi-user. It's not like I was not good with assuming things, I'm actually good at it, you know, assuming. That's why they always cheat on me.

We're standing in the middle of the Northern Forest, opposite to each other. He's standing there, staring at me while my eyes narrowed wondering what will be his next move. When will he start? No, he started a moment ago, but when will he show its true form?

"Mind-reading is abstract. It cannot be seen." I decided to act like I don't know anything but I know he won't buy it but I'm still trying. "So how can you show me your Alice?"

"Yeah it's abstract, and quit the acting it's annoying." He's back to the jerk he is.

I gave him a mocking look. "Says then one who is acting earlier."

He groaned. "Shut up. Do you want to see it or not?"

"Let me see the wind." I said, excited.

"Won't you steal it?" He accused jokingly.

I shook my head. "Nah. Not in the mood."

He smirked. I'm enjoying this too, if he must know. Without warning me, he finally showed his Alice. The Wind Alice. I wonder if this is the first time he had done something like this. Trees swayed continuously and the leaves are somehow dancing. Ken is controlling everything; maybe he is trying to amaze me.

"Well, are you amazed?" Oh, he read my mind.

I activated my Nullifying Alice. "A bit." I admitted. "Coz you are reading my mind while controlling the wind. Not everyone with more than one Alice can do that." I complimented.

"Well, can you do it? Steal and nullify at the same time?"

"Maybe." I smirked. Of course I can. "Why are you showing this to me? This is your biggest secret, well maybe not, but maybe one of the biggest. Add to that, why me?"

"Clearly, we've been investigating each other for the past months. I actually learned about your Alice just last week but someone told me you knew mine earlier. I got impatient. I mean, you weren't confronting me about it when I know you are the type of girl who'll do that, so you see I made the first move and this is it." He explained. "I'm not a very patient man, for your information, and you're playing with me and I don't like it."

"In short."

He made a forward step. "I wanna know how that Stealing Alice works. I've been hearing things about that since I came here so when I finally found the person who has it, it's just natural that I want to see it. So, can I see it?"

"I told you, I'm not in the mood."

He chuckled. "How can I get you into the mood?" He asked teasingly.

"What else can you do with that Alice of yours?" I changed the topic by avoiding his question with another question. I don't what am I going to answer and I don't like the tone he used when he asked that one.

He grinned. "What do you think a wind can do?"

"Probably anything." I replied boringly.

"There are limitations you know." He informed. "In everything, there are limitations." Who knew Ken can be philosophical?

"Like what?"

"I can't get the air out of a human." I snorted. That's nasty and terrible. "I can fly but it will drain all of my energy in such a short span of time. There's many more but telling everything to you will be risky."

"How will it be risky?"

He looked intently at my eye. "Knowing you, you'll use it against me."

"What can I say. . . .that's the purpose of my interrogation." His wind hasn't stopped yet. He could be really good if he is using it since we got out of the bakeshop. "How strong are you?" I wanted to know. I'm interested.

"Do I need to answer that?"

"Yes. If you wanted to be in the list of what Alices should I steal that is." I'm proud of my wittiness.

"Let's just say I'm one of a kind." He arrogantly stated.

"Yeah right." I sneered. "So you're doing missions for the academy?"

I saw his face changed emotion. "Sometimes. Especially when that bastard left, most of the missions are handed to me." It seems like he doesn't want to do missions. I wonder why. It's how students get rich though it also means risking their lives but the recent missions as I have seen in my Mom's records were not that deadly. It's all easy. Cherry pie.

"That bastard sure did a lot to you."

"He's bad news." He huskily said.

Seeing him so irritated is funny. "It's really funny to know that you have an equal in terms of being a jerk and a bastard."

"Don't you dare compare me to him." He gritted his teeth. This is so funny. He got all so worked up with this bastard who has no name. I wonder what he's look like and what is his Alice.

I raised my brow. "Oh? You don't like it?" I heard him scowled. He really hates it, no doubt. "The more I like it."

"Sure is."

"This bastard. . . .what is his Alice?"

"Fire. I told you that didn't I?"

"Sorry, I forgot."

"He's the strongest, everyone says. But he is really mysterious and is caged by his girlfriend who has a Cat-Dog Alice. Almost all of the missions were given to him since he is reliable but. . . why are we talking about him? It's making my day bad."

"Fine, I won't ask anymore about him." I ended the topic about bastard-who-has-no-name. "I must say, you have a really cool Alice. I'm impressed and quite jealous. Why are you hiding it anyway?"

"Just to add in the mysterious aura. I like attention. People talking 'bout me is enjoyable to watch."

I clenched my fist. "Arrogant. Jerk. Bastard. Stupid. Ken."

"Yes?" He inquired mockingly.

I tried to calm myself. "Let's go. I'm drowning with air in here." I said instead.

He smiled. "As you wish."

**End of Chapter**

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**Hey, review?**

**I'll try to update all of my stories on the 29****th**** of October. That's a big pressure but I want to since it's sembreak. **


	9. Spring Dance

**The Second Book**

**Chapter Nine**

_**The Spring Dance**_

**Written by: **_**keaRy anCe**_

I watched everyone as they all got paranoid. Geez, just because of one dance. Everyone in-charge of the dance are on a rush. All I hear about is the Spring Dance. Girls talk about it, even boys. Some were crying because no one asked them, some were squealing since the one they prayed for asked them, some boys were still gaining their confidences to ask the girl they wanted to go to, some girls are still waiting, some are preparing already, some girls used Alices to get the partners they wanted, some boys also used Alices to make that not happen while some are sitting in comfy under the shade of the Cherry Blossom tree at the back of the school. The latter 'some' is me.

I admired the gushes of wind as it interacts with the leaves of these beautiful trees. Nice scene. Spring season is really nice. This is the season when you can see the flowers bloom at its finest, the season when Cherry Blossom trees entertain our eyes and our hearts to the highest level.

"Mikan." A cold voice said from my back.

I jumped from my seat. I quickly turned to see who was that someone who said that out of the blue. It almost gave me a heart attack! "Nobara! It's you! You scared the hell out of me!" I yelled, my hands on my chest.

She laughed. "I can't help it. You're drowned in your own thoughts. Surprising you, as I have thought, is funny." She said.

I am trying to catch my breath. It always happen when I got surprised at the highest level. "Next time, don't do that. Ever." I warned and I'm dead serious.

"Aww, you're cute." She giggled as I glared. "Fine. I won't do that again." She said, defeated. But something tells me she won't.

"So why are you here?" I asked.

"I came to give this to you." She handed me a red small box. I looked up to her. "From Ken, he said it was a gift. I'm not allowed to open or ask about it so. . . can you please open it now?" I smiled at her excitement.

I grabbed the box and examined it. "Why would Ken give me a gift? So unlike him." Honestly, I got suspicious. Who knows, there's a big possibility that it might be a bomb.

She placed her hands on my shoulders. "Maybe because he likes you." She softly said.

"That's impossible." I casually stated, making her sulk.

"Why not? He asked you to be his date." I narrowed my eyes. "I asked him. In case you're wondering how I'd known." She explained.

Typical Nobara. "He just asked me to get rid of his fan girls." I said the truth.

She seems unsatisfied with my answer. "I don't know. Ken's not that type." She insisted.

"Nobara, I don't care, okay?" I don't want to be sound rude but I can't help it. Nobara pouted at my rudeness by the way. I opened the box to see a key. I held it out and examined it more carefully. The key is beautiful. That should describe it. It looks ancient but it still is beautiful.

"A key?" I heard her asked in curiosity. "For what? It looks like it won't fit on anything that has a lock."

I nodded but continued to gaze at the gift. "Maybe he's beginning to get crazy." I said and put the key back to its box. I noticed a note but temporarily ignored it and stood up. "Aren't you busy?" I changed the subject.

Nobara shook her head. "It's lunch break, Mikan." She pointed out. We started walking. "But I still don't get why Ken gave you a gift."

"I don't know either." I answered lazily. "What time will the dance begin?"

"Seven but be there at eight. Can I volunteer?"

My eyebrows rose. "Volunteer?" What is she talking about?

She pouted. "To do your hair! Your make-up and everything! Oh please Mikan, let me do it. Please, please, please." She pleaded in sing-song tone as she clasped her hands together.

I looked at her and sighed. "You know I can't reject you, right?"

She squealed. "Oh yeah! I'll make you the most beautiful girl tonight!"

"Oh no." I groaned.

* * *

"I see you received the gift." A smiling Ken suddenly sat on the empty seat in front of me. I was admiring the key he sent me. "How do you like it?"

I put it back on the box. "Why did you get me a key? More like, why did you send me a gift?"

"It's the key to my heart."

I gawked at him, my jaw dropped. After that, I laughed. "Alright, what movie did you watch?"

"Nothing." His face was black.

I still laughed. "Ken, I don't know why you gave me something like this but thank you, I guess."

"Bring that tonight." He informed, smiling.

"If you say so." I eyed him suspiciously. "Why are you excited?"

He suddenly changed his expression. "Who said I'm excited?"

"Ahhmm, your expression?"

He looked like I hit a nerve. "Don't get too full of yourself." He excused. He stayed silent for a moment; uneasiness was evident on his expression before he talked. "I look forward on seeing you tonight. I'm curious if there's going to be a progress on your face when some paint was applied."

I automatically glared at him. "Are you insinuating that I'm ugly?"

"Well, are you beautiful?" He insulted more.

I was furious. I'm angry. Damn him. He should go to hell. "Now we're talking! For your information Mister, people who are looking at the appearance are low class and ignorant. They don't deserve respect, in fact, they don't deserve any."

"Woah, calm down." He placed his hands on my shoulders and forced me to sit. "No, you are not ugly." I smiled in victory. "But I didn't say you are beautiful either." That does it. I clenched my fist, trying to activate my defense mechanism.

But it seems like I can't. "What!" I slammed the table, hard, making the students looked at us but I glared at them and victoriously shooed them away. "Stop talking to me."

"You're so funny." He chuckled.

"This isn't funny." I gritted my teeth. "I am so offended."

He stared at me, his face became serious. "Can I say you something?"

I rolled my arms and looked away. "No."

"I guess I'll just ask it when your mood lightened up. Maybe tonight?" What is it that he wanted to say so badly?

I stared back at him and smiled. "Pray for it." Then I made my dramatic exit.

* * *

Okay, tonight I'll meet this couple, I'm Ken's partner, my first dance ever, my first time to attend a social gathering, my first time to be dress beautifully, my first time to-okay stop, I'm sounding like I haven't had a social life before. I sound like a nun.

I readied my dress. It's a black strapless dress with gold polka dots on its full skirt, golden lines on the top, a gold cloth on the bodice and it looks elegant. The first time I saw this dress I didn't have second thoughts about it. Nobara thinks also that the dress would suit my personality. My _quiet_ personality. Am I even quiet? _Pfft_. Truthfully, Nobara and I have the same color of dresses: Black with a touch of gold. We're like sisters.

I gazed at the mirror, probing my reflection. I've been feeling uneasy since I woke up this morning. I paid my attention back to the dress again. I wonder how I will look in this. Maybe attending this Spring Dance is not so bad after all. I saw the box and remembered that Ken left a note on it. I got the note and read it.

_I know you'll just read the note later. Again, don't forget to bring it, Nullification Girl. After tonight you can keep it. It's yours. If you're asking why I am giving a gift to you, I'll just answer it later._

He really is crazy.

Boys, _tsk._

I checked the time. It's already 3:58 and Nobara will come at four. I sat comfortably at my bed when-

"Mikan!" She busted into my door. Oh my god. I almost had a heart attack for the second time today. Her hair has curlers on it. She also brought her dress, shoes and accessories already because we had an agreement that she'll dress here in my room.

"Seriously Nobara, stop doing that."

"I know, I know." She acted hurt. "So I wanted to explain my plan for your hair. Since curls are so beautiful, I decided I'll do that to you."

"I don't care what you do. Let's just get this over and done with." I lazily replied.

"Okay!" She chirped. No matter how rude I am to her, she just answers back with extra cheerfulness on it.

I didn't know that Nobara is an expert on this. There are still so many things that I need to know about her. So she did my hair. She has given me expert advices on how to maintain my beauty. Ugh, as if I have beauty. Now, I don't wanna talk about it. My self esteem might decrease and I really don't want that now.

She told me some stories about Spring Dances. Like how students would always look forward on it because it's the second of the two dances held in the academy. The first is when there's an Alice Festival. Spring Dance gives the students opportunity to dress as grand as they could because in the Last Dance everyone has the same dresses and suit.

"Nobara, who's your date?" I asked between her blabbing.

"Huh? Me?"

I rolled my eyes. "Is there anyone else in this room?"

"Actually, none. Because I'll be very busy." She said like it was the most normal thing on Earth.

"I'm sure you won't be that busy. Come on, tell me. I'm sure somebody has asked you."

She blushed. "The president of the Dance Committee asked me. But I turned him down."

"What's the reason?"

"Nothing in particular. Maybe because I don't want to. . .yet."

"Have fun tonight, Nobara. When someone decent enough asked you a dance, accept it especially if it is this president. I don't see the reason why you don't want to but this is your dance. You put your time, effort and heart into this. Enjoy. This will only happen once in a year. Break out into your shell and have fun. But hey, don't go overboard."

She flashed me a sincere smile. "Thanks Mikan. Oh, and I will."

"No sweat."

* * *

We were finally done. Nobara was on a curly messy hair style. While me, well, Nobara makes my hair wavy and tied almost half.

When she's done in putting her shoes on, she approached me. "Wow Mikan. You look gorgeous. Black and gold fits you perfectly."

"I do?" I asked. "You look wonderful too Nobara." True, her dress fits her in a very stunning way. "Let's have fun tonight." I smiled.

"Yeah, let's." We got our purses.

Heels aren't my kind of thing. But surprisingly, I'm comfortable wearing it. We exited my room to see Ken waiting. He's on his tux. He's cleaner to look at though his hair is still messy and his tux is, oh my, it looks handsome on it.

"Hi Ken." Nobara greeted. Awkward.

"Hey, nice." He praised and looked at me. I rolled my eyed. "Nicer." He smiled. "Good job, Nobara."

"Thanks. Well, I guess I'll see you later. A temporary bye to you two."

"Bye." I said.

When Nobara was out of sight, Ken offered his hand like a gentleman and I took it, hesitantly. Because he isn't a gentleman, that's why.

"Didn't know some paint can improve your face." He talked.

"My face? My god, you are so arrogant." I hissed. "You know what? Tonight you look like a dog?"

He scowled. "A dog? Excuse me?"

"Yes, a dog. A yapping, irritating, dog. How I wish I could push you into the mud right now." I am controlling my anger. All I can do now is offend him as bad as I can.

"You won't do that, honey." He teased.

I glared with all my might. "Don't honey me, dog."

"Great. Calling me dog as an endearment. Aren't you sweet?"

"It's an insult." I frowned.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever."

People looked at us when we arrived at the hall which is designed grandly. I can see them whispering, I can see them glaring, I can feel that they are talking. My blood is boiling. The last thing I wanted to be in right now is gossip. I'm so stupid; I should have seen this coming.

"I can sense hundreds of glares pointing at me." I whispered at him.

He gazed at the entire room. "As if they can hurt you."

"That's not the point, you idiot."

"Just ignore them." He said. Obviously, he doesn't want to talk about it.

"What else. I couldn't use my Alice, right?"

"And cause a ruckus? I think not."

"I agree."

"Hey, wanna dance?" He offered and I just simply can't answer back. "Why? That's the point of all of these, right? Don't tell me you are going to reject your partner."

"Why not?"

He led me to the dance floor. The light is dim and the only thing visible to me is Ken. A sweet song played. He put his hand on my waist as I put mine to his shoulders. I can't feel nothing. My body stiffened at his hold. Who can blame me? He is so close.

"You look stiff."

"No, I don't." I lied.

"Liar." He can always see through me.

"You're so close." I stated. His face is so close to mine.

He smiled and leaned a little closer. "I like it closer."

"I _love _it farther."

He looked at me as if I am the most important person in his life. His eyes; it was so beautiful. "I'm stubborn. I won't do as you love."

"If you get closer, I don't know if I can think anymore." Did I just say that?

"I like the sound of that." He grinned mischievously.

"It's definitely what you are thinking, Pervert."

"Oh? Very well then, please enlighten me."

"I've been thinking of smacking you. Right in the face. You wanna know why? Because you've been a jerk to me since lunch break."

"You're such a drama queen."

"You're such a jerk." I retorted in a dangerous tone. "At least be honest with me."

He grabbed my hand and kissed it. "You are beautiful. Not just tonight but since the first time I saw you. You're a problematic, love-sick teenager. You dislike me. You're quiet when around people but when you are with Nobara or me, you're loud. You have this powerful Alice but you don't go bashing about it. You are not just like the others, Mikan. You're a challenge."

"Why are you saying all of that?" He didn't answer. "Ken?"

He grinned and opened his mouth. "That's because I li-"

The music suddenly stopped and all the lights went on. I saw Serina-sensei on the stage, holding a microphone. Her dress was also dazzling. Mind you, faculty members must wear formal attires.

"Students of the academy, good evening. I hope each and one of you are enjoying this year's Spring Dance. As we all know, months ago, Alice Academy's most favorite couple left the school for security reasons, together with their friend. Now, after waiting for them for months. I know his fan girls will love this." Serina-sensei smiled. I kept rolling my eyes through the whole introduction because who cares? Meanwhile, Ken is scowling all the way. "Let's welcome back, they've been out for months, Sumire Shouda and Natsume Hyuuga." She finally said in a very happy tone but was not definitely music to my ears.

Oh my god. I stiffened. My eyes were blurry. Flashbacks started, memories were refreshed and I could not believe what I just heard. It's ironic, isn't it? He's also a student in this academy. The academy I thought which would make me forgot about everything. Everything shattered. Just like that.

"Mikan?" I heard Ken called.

"Ken." I choked out. "It's him."

He cannot understand what I'm saying at first but soon realized it. "Who?"

"The boy." He is making this more difficult for me.

"Hyuuga?"

I nodded weakly. He couldn't believe what I was saying. "He's the same bastard I've been talking about."

"Oh my god." I absentmindedly placed my hands on my mouth for all these disbelieving happenings tonight. I can hear the crowd cheering as they saw Sumire Shouda in a beautiful dress and Natsume Hyuuga in his perfectly fitting tux. Once again, I saw his disheveled raven hair, his dazzling crimson eyes, his face, him. Oh no.

"What are you looking at Natsume?" Sumire asked.

"Mikan."

"What?"

"She's here."

"Mikan! That's ridiculous. She couldn't be-"

"Then why is she here?"

"She's following you."

"Don't be the ridiculous one."

I can perfectly hear them talk due to one of the Alices I stole. "Ken, they're coming. What should I do? What should I do? What must I do?" I asked, panicking.

He calmed me by placing his hands on my face. "Anything but run." His words soothed me.

"Mikan." Natsume called. I can see people looking at us.

I heard his voice again. After so many months, after I buried all the memories of him. I turned around; my confidence is at its peak. "Fancy meeting you here, Hyuuga." I tried my best to smile and I succeeded. My god, he is so handsome.

Sumire is not happy and I can tell it by her expression. "Mikan Sakura. What the hell are you doing here?" She asked acidly. I don't know if she's an idiot or what but everyone in this academy has Alices so obviously she should know the answer to that question.

I rolled my eyes. "Obviously, I'm an Alice."' I proudly said. I can see that people are gossiping about us. Chatters filled the room. So much drama. Astoundingly, Ken is not talking. He must be watching me defend myself like he always wanted me to do.

"No you're not." Sumire fought back. No doubts, she is an idiot. "You're Natsume's obsess fan girl. No more, no less."

"Really? For your information, she's dead. A long time ago. You know what, you should have attended her funeral." I retorted back. "Now, if you please excuse us." I turned around and dragged Ken with me.

"I'm great, am I?" I said to him while running.

We stopped running the moment we got outside, far from those people.

"Hyuuga is the boy you've been crying for?" Ken asked, unpleased.

I panted. "Are you really going to shove it on my face?"

"Do you still love him?" What the hell? All of a sudden.

"Why are you asking me that?"

He knew I was playing with him. Well, he's at fault. Suddenly asking personal questions like that. "Just answer it. Dammit!"

"What's going on with you?" I didn't wait for his answer and instead answered his question. "I don't know, Ken. It's not easy to let it all go. I know you're concerned but I'm mature enough to handle him. I'm not the same as before."

"This is shit." He hissed,

"Why are you so angry?"

"I don't know!" He yelled. "Maybe because of all people it's Hyuuga. Of all people it's you."

"Me?" I have a hint. Another, _oh no_."What is it that you wanna say in the middle of the dance?"

He looked at me, helpless. He looks so weary and angry. "Mikan, I like you." He said with all honesty. He grabbed me by the arm and pulled me into a hug.

Why is this happening to me?

All I know is I am catching my breath.

**End of Chapter**

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* * *

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_**gracellen**_-**Sorry to say but I have no picture of Ken. But if I found one, I'll gladly give you the link. **

**Natsume and Mikan meet again! How's that?**

**Ken confessed. How's that?**

**Errors? I'll get back to that. **

**Review?**

_**The links for Mikan and Nobara's dresses are in my profile. Please do check it.**_

Please say something about these dresses. It will determine if my taste is bad or good. Thanks.


	10. We Can Never Be

**The Second Book**

**Chapter Ten**

_**We Can Never Be**_

**Written by: **_**keaRy anCe**_

I once told myself that I will love no one except Natsume.

How _faithful_ of me. But it's true. I did.

I didn't go back to my room last night and instead I went straightly to the Northern Forest to clear my mind. It's not that dark anyway and the moon is illuminating my path. I am affected when I saw Natsume in front of me. I honestly don't know what to do but those words I blurted that are quite harsh, I don't regret saying them. I am more affected by Ken's confession.

He is feeling like that all along and I didn't even notice. I am very stupid. If I just noticed sooner, maybe I am not here now.

The look in his face when I said the words he never wished to hear also broke my heart.

"_I like you. Okay?" he confessed. At that moment, he looked completely vulnerable. Like the only thing that keeps him alive is me. Though that sounds pretty boastful. _

"_Ken-" I wanted to tell him to stop because now is not a pretty good time. _

_He shook his head, interrupting me and wanting to continue. "I always wanted to find someone and now I found you. I like you not because you are broken but because despite all of that you chose to be different."_

_I lowered my head. "How can you say that when I clearly ran out from my problems?" I asked him in a desperate tone. "Can't you see that I'm a coward?"_

"_Maybe because you wanted to solve it and try until you succeeded."_

"_That's not a valid reason," I pointed out. _

"_For me it is."_

_I held his hands. "I'm sorry. It's just that, you don't know me too well and so am I."_

"_All you have to do is trust me. Is that so hard?" he buried his head on my shoulders._

"_Maybe when the time is right," I promised and hugged him. _

I admit. Until now, I have feelings for Natsume. But those feeling are not enough for his redemption. He is fine just the way he is so I doubt if he even wants for my forgiveness. It's unfair for my side because I am trying so hard to resist him while he just doesn't give a shit.

Despite of the many reasons that I should forget him, I still can't. I hugged my knees. Why do I always cry for him? I have only escaped for months and that won't change his feelings. He still is with Sumire and I am still his fan girl. He still is the same guy I love and I am still the girl he can't even like. He still is the handsome boy like the last time I saw him and I am still the ugly girl he won't notice unless I agreed to be such an idiot just to be with him. I am the girl who will forever love him and he will forever be the boy who broke my heart by lying to me.

This day won't be a good one, would it?

I did my best to return to my room without anyone spotting me but it turns out I'm wrong.

"You're crying again," I lifted my head when I heard his voice.

I know that he is trying to act as if nothing happened so I will do my best too. "Good morning, Ken."

"Your dress is still on," he stated his observation. Well, it's his way of saying that I didn't come home last night.

I gave a faint chuckle. "Yes, it is. We don't have classes today, have I heard right?"

"You did," he said and followed me with his eyes. "So Hyuuga-" he started. Please, not in this early morning. The last thing I want to talk about is Natsume.

"Please let us not talk about him," I pleaded.

"If that's what you want," he said in defeat. Good thing he understands. "Are you going to give me back the locket?"

"Why?" I asked. "I thought it was mine. You gave it to me, I like it. No return." I smiled. I really like it. I also don't have plans on giving it back to him. No way. There is no freakin' way.

"It's good to hear that."

I pinched his nose, loving the way his handsomeness appeared when I did that. "Ken? Can you please go for a while? I'll just take a bath and dress. You're a boy so. . . ."

"Fine. I'm going. I'm going. Don't stay too long and take a rest. Sitting out in the cold is not healthy," he said in a childish tone.

"Have you been watching me?"

"See you later."

I made a weak smile. He did.

* * *

I was tapping my pencil onto the table and even though it's rather loud, no one will complain because it's just me, Ken, some students who come and go, and the librarian inside the library. I felt such a weird pull to read something today and gladly Ken was willing to come.

"Are you going to talk to him?" he blurted. I didn't look at him. Seriously, why does he let Natsume bother the hell out of him?

"Do you think I can, must, and should?" I'm just bluffing, wanting to know what his answer will be.

"If it will make you happy," he touched my heart again.

I rolled my eyes. "You're so sappy."

"What? I can't be sappy now?" he purred.

"Why are you insisting this?"

"Because you never read before all of a sudden. In fact, you never read."

"Excuse me," I gritted my teeth. "I beg your pardon. I do read books. You just didn't see it."

"Right," he said in sarcasm.

My jaw dropped in disbelief. He is back in being a jerk again. "Do you seriously want to be my enemy?"

"_Mikan_, you can't even touch me," he smirked. "You have not mastered your Alices yet. What makes you think you are fit to be my enemy?"

"You are simply asking for it," I said in the darkest tone I could come up.

"I didn't ask for it. You offered."

That's it. I slammed the table and stood up making my chair fell and created a loud noise. "Oh for the love of-!" I yelled at his face.

"What is going on here?" a voice said, that I guessed was the librarian. I turned around to confirm and I was correct. I can hear Ken's giggle from where I am standing. "You do know that silence should be kept in the library always, right?"

"But he pissed me off."

The librarian crossed her arms and adjusted her thick glasses. "I don't care whatever you two are fighting about. I just can't tolerate this. Yelling inside the library is…is…is immoral!"

She is exaggerating. Truthfully, my voice was not _that_ loud.

"Then blame him," I pointed at Ken who in the moment acted like an innocent. I could not help but glare at him. He is so pissing me off. I swear I'm going to strangle him the second we exited this room.

She shook her head in diapproval. "No, no, no, no. I suggest you make your exit, Miss. I don't want my sanctuary to be filled with –ahhmmm- students like you."

Like me? Oh my gosh. I'm thinking of strangling this librarian before Ken. "Fine. I'll go," I said, gritting my teeth while walking my way out.

The librarian stared at Ken. "I should be going too," he said and ran after me.

When we are out of the library, I smacked him in the head. "I can't believe I'm friend with you!"

He finally let out his refrained laughter. "You're still fun to tease."

"Next time, you are not coming with me inside that room," I pointed at the library door.

"I won't be surprised if one day, you'll beg me to come with you," he said in a proud tone.

I smiled sweetly at him and kicked his stomach. I turned around, celebrating that I can hear him moaning in pain. Ha! Good for him.

"See yah around."

* * *

I've been touring the academy for a couple of minutes now and realized that this was the same atmosphere that welcomed me in the first day I went here. I continued walking but stopped abruptly when I saw a raven-haired boy in the hallway.

Natsume looked like a fallen angel at that instant. I was about to go back when he talked.

"I searched for you."

"What for?" I answered, still not facing him.

He started walking, I knew it from the steps I'm hearing. "I have something to tell you."

"Whatever it is, I don't want to listen. Can't you just leave me alone?" I turned to face him at the last sentence.

"It's important," he held my wrists and I quickly brushed it.

"Honestly Natsume, I don't care. It will make things worse and complicated. I don't want to talk to you anymore."

"Why?"

Why? He is asking me why? Doesn't he know? Or he just wants to act stupid? "Because I might say things that I will regret saying and you will just disregard."

"Why do you keep on saying that?"

I pushed him slightly. "You want to know why? Because all these time it was you. Only you! Nothing else. But for you, it was never me. You see? What's the point? You still can't like me and even if you will, which is impossible, do you think it will work? Who are we deceiving? Me or the people? Do you really want to play with my feelings so much?"

"All this time I want nothing but you're forgiveness," he breathed.

I looked at him in the eye. I almost drowned but fortunately I got hold of myself. "I told you once, you can't have it."

He gasped shortly."Don't you think you are making this hard for the both of us? Why won't you let me be happy? You are really selfish. After all these months, you are still being a bitch about this."

I got hurt by the _B _word. "Right. I am. So what? Call me whatever you want. See? You can't even stand me," I tried to be a bitch a little longer.

"I don't mean to snap at you like that," he said apologetically.

I gained all the courage that is left with me since last night. "Can you be honest with me? In those three months we've been, you know, have you ever thought of me?"

"No."

_Oh. _Inside me, deep in my heart, I really wished he said yes.

"Didn't you ever like me? Even a bit?" I continued asking.

"No."

My breathing stopped. "I see. Let's end this now. I don't want to deal with you anymore. Have your peace."

"But now, all I think is you." he managed to say before she can walk out. "Your smile, your voice, your concerns, your patience, you. Why do you think I would go searching for you?"

"Save it Natsume. We can never be," I put it harshly. "It's too broken."

"Is it Nagihiko?" he asked. That made my heart beat rapidly.

"Maybe. He likes me you know. In an honest way," I don't know where that came from but it surprised me when I said that.

"Do you feel the same way?" he stepped closer.

"Why would I tell you?" I spat.

"You don't."

How dare him conclude something like that. Maybe he thinks that I still like him which is true but there is no way I will let him find out.

"He lifted me up when I am so down. He was always there when I cry. He may be annoying most of the time but when he started to get serious he can always touch my heart. He will never hurt me. He will never do the things you've done to me. He believes in me." I ranted. "I thought you were like that at first. That is why I always wanted to be with you but it turns out I'm wrong. Now, I found him. Do you think I will let him go?"

He pinned me to the wall. "No lies. Just pure honesty."

I smirked at him. "He's the best I got. I will never let him go."

**End of Chapter**

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**Merry Christmas everyone! Also, advance Happy 2011!**

**Mikan is torn between Natsume and Ken. For you, who do you think is better for her? Natsume or Ken? **

**How was this chapter? Please tell me.**

**Review? **


	11. He Gave Me Wings

**The Second Book **

**Chapter Eleven**

_**He Gave Me Wings**_

**Written by: **_**keaRy anCe**_

The fact that Natsume is this close to me makes me want to slap myself for even feeling like this. It's awkward and it is making my cheeks heat up. Not that I love him but sometimes I feel uncomfortable when boys are around and near like this one. Though that didn't change the fact that I am this brave to stand up to him and make him feel rejection hundred times worse. Now what am I thinking about? He is not in love with me so rejection is not a suitable word.

"He's the best I got. I will never let him go."

Natsume looked irritated when I said that. I am so proud of myself, on the other hand although it sounds so wrong. It sounded like I was going to use Ken to take revenge on him and I don't plan on doing that ever.

"I see. So now your new tactic is to harass her, huh."

Natsume and I both turned to see who talked. Natsume released me from his pinning immediately when Ken appeared. I smiled the moment I saw him and felt nervous because he might have heard the words I said earlier and also got the wrong interpretation.

Natsume growled and closed his eyes in irritation. "Why do you even care? This is none of your business."

The atmosphere became tensed and tensed and tensed as Ken grabbed me by the arm and pulled me to his side. "She's my business."

"What makes you think that?" Natsume snorted.

Ken just gave a smile that was intended to annoy Natsume. "I'm the best she's got. Wait. Is that a bad thing or a good thing?" he asked as he looked at me.

I rolled my eyes. Ken was arrogant back there. I didn't peg him to be an overconfident boy.

"Come on. He's not worth your saliva," I whispered and dragged him. I glanced one more time at Natsume whose stoic face never changed. I saw in his eyes that he didn't like Ken's interruption when he was about to say something. I felt his eyes watching me as I walked away.

"So in the end of the day, you talked to him." Ken sounded like he didn't like the idea. I thought he wanted this to happen so I can have my peace, so what's with the tone?

I suddenly found myself in defensive mode, explaining. "Well, he came to talk to me. I didn't plan on even saying a word to him."

"Right," he deadpanned.

"Why won't you believe me? I'm telling the truth," I added quickly. It's like I really have to explain him everything because he would be upset and I don't want him to be upset. And I don't know why I am feeling like this.

He stopped walking and looked at me. His eyes were longing for something and his lips were down by a little. "You could've pushed him when he pinned you to the wall."

I got his point. I smiled in a playing innocent way and gazed at different directions before I ended my stare to him. "Are you jealous?" I smiled automatically when I asked that.

He was taken aback. I knew it. "Don't jump into conclusions." But he still denied it.

"Don't you think it's stupid for you to be jealous?" It's really stupid. There is no way I will let my stpudi self go back to Natsume.

Ken took one step closer. "I'm not jealous. I'm just protecting you from him."

"I can take care of myself. Thank you very much." I decided to be independent for once in a while. Since my cold act towards Natsume is my business, letting him in would just make it complicated. Not that I don't want Ken to protect me but it's just that I can take care of myself.

He shook his head and placed his hands on my shoulders. "Look, I'm just concerned about you."

I nodded, appreciating his effort. "Ken, I know. Don't be upset when I'm saying that I can take care of myself because I really can. I am not vulnerable, you know. And I am telling this not because of the Alices I have but because I've experienced this before and now I know what to do. I've learned. This is high school. This is my drama. I know how to handle this. Trust me, I know."

He shrugged and stepped away. "Well, is it wrong for me to fear losing you?"

"I will not go anywhere," I assured him.,

He smiled. "That better be true."

"It is."

"Good."

My eyes narrowed when I remembered what he did to me in the library. "Hey. Why are we talking? I have not forgiven you yet to what you did to me earlier."

"I don't know. Maybe because you can't stand not to be with me."

I laughed. "Oh please. Give me a break. I sensed that you're awfully more arrogant these past few hours than before."

"It's the effect of rejection." Bulls eye. That does it.

"Ken."

"Fine. I won't say anything. My mouth is shut. I'll ask you again. I'm the best you've got, I just wanna know what is the meaning of that,"

Oh yes, that. "I know it sounded like I am going to use you to take revenge on him but trust me, it's not. It means that you are the best person in my life right now and I don't want to lose you. I don't know what'll I do if I will let you go especially now,"

It took a moment before he made a smirk. I miss that smirk. "I'm happy to hear that. You sound desperate."

"Again with the teasing. I really want to strangle you right now," I joked as I playfully strangled his neck.

* * *

"What are you doing here?" A voice stopped me while I was rushing my way to my room. The voice was full of disgust and hatred.

I turned to see it was Sumire Shouda. I tried my best not to laugh and I succeeded. I mean, what is she doing here? Is this the result of her insecurity? "Why are you talking to me?" I spat.

She neared to me and pushed, making me lose my balance a little. I never thought she can be this rude. "You've never been part of the academy before and now, all of a sudden, you're here. Are you still following Natsume? Don't you know what 'get lost' means? Do you want to be hurt to death before you finally leave him alone?" It was embarrassing already that she is yelling but the fact that she is desperate of Natsume when she already has him is more embarrassing.

"You know what, Sumire, I don't like talking to you. Leave me alone because I'm not interested to you and especially to your boyfriend."

She gripped my wrists. The hell, this girl is violent! "You. I don't know what you're up to but I can assure you that no matter how frantic you become, he will never notice you!"

"Shut up!" I yelled and pushed her. Yes. "What else do you want from me? I never got him, right? Why are you such a bitch? It's not like I stole him from you. You broke up with him but his heart is still yours! Stop bothering me."

I was about to ignore her but she now gripped my hair and pulled me back to her. I can feel the pain and it made me winced and cried, a little. You see, I am not exactly the fight-backing type. It's not that I don't want to but I can't. If I used my Alice to her, I'll be doomed. My mother will know and I am prohibiting that to happen.

"Ever since you ran, he isn't the same as before," she hissed into my ear and released me.

Panting and slightly scared, I still managed to say, "That isn't my fault. I didn't force him to act like that."

Shouda became more anxious than ever. "Who else would I blame? It's only you. You should not be in that library that afternoon. You should not have pry. You shouldn't be here! You can always die like you acted when you said to Natsume that you've had enough!"

This girl wants me to die because of a boy? Okay. Fine. That does it. She is so gonna get it. "Don't act like you are the one who's been hurt so badly, _Sumire_. When I saw you together on New Year's Eve, the pain I felt at that supposed to be special day for me, you will never understand how it hurts. I'm just his temporary entertainment. Do you know how much that hurts? Until now, it's stabbing my heart. It makes my chest go tight and my eyes wet. Can't you understand? _You have him! _Leave me alone. You won't like what I'm going to do to you if you piss any longer."

She was speechless for a moment before she crossed her arms and gave me a cynical smile. "I wonder what can an obsess fan girl like you can do."

I closed my eyes and grunted. "You asked for it," I said in a deadly tone. I am damn serious. I am going to hurt her if she will not stop.

"Sumire. We need to go." He just had to interrupt! I gave Natsume a glare.

"You're lucky." Sumire murmured.

"You're luckier." I smirked and leave.

I already thought she was going to leave me alone but then she yelled and activated her Alice. Her nails become longer and she grew those cat ears. She was about to scratch me, big time, but Natsume was the one who received the scratch. I saw him wincing and Sumire deactivated her Alice immediately. She looked devastated and he looked hurt.

"I told you. We have to go." He said to her and he followed like a cat.

He saved me. He could have just let me be hurt but he didn't let it. _No_, I should stop this. Recognizing every single good thing that he does for me is not healthy. What he is doing is only normal for guys who are damn guilty. He's acting like he cares for you. Like our first date, when he brought me to a special place. He imprisoned my heart at that very instant but eventually I found out I was wrong.

I continued walking towards my room to get a nice sleep.

I won't let that meaningless instance ruin my night. No. Tomorrow I will see Ken and Nobara and they will make me feel better again. Like always.

**End of Chapter**

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**Your reviews from last chapter made my Christmas! Oh wow! Thank you very much. What can I say? I'm overwhelmed.**

**Last time, I asked you who is better: Natsume or Ken? Well, most of you like Ken but still some wants Mikan for Natsume. Now, did this chapter change your mind somehow? Who? Ken or Natsume?**

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**Review? **


	12. A Day Without You

**The Second Book**

**Chapter Twelve**

_**A day without you**_

**Written by: **_**keaRy anCe**_

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"_You can't just come back to my life and say you like me. Clearly, that's not how it works."_

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Natsume winced one more time as he sat on his bed. The pain, he didn't expect, would be extreme. It was sharp and piercing, like he had fractured a bone. The wound is bleeding and since he was losing blood, dizziness attacked him. He started to wonder what if Mikan had received the hit; she will curse him surely for being hurt because of him when she's doing nothing at all except staying away from them. Good thing he's fast and good thing the academy is giving him special training on speed, he was able to save her.

"I'm sorry." Sumire, who just got the first aid kit, apologized as she took a seat beside him. "I am not thinking again." Her voice was soft and low, a very delicate sound that can deceive other people that does not know her true nature. But Natsume knew Sumire for life, he knew the girl was sorry but only because she had hurt him, she was not sorry for her bad attitude.

Natsume wanted to lecture her but decided not to when he saw the guilt reeking from her face. He felt sad for Sumire and he felt bad for not coming back to her. "It's just a scratch." Though he knew that was understatement, he still said it. It is for Sumire to feel relieved even for a moment and even if it is a false statement. Yelling and telling her to leave Mikan alone will only make things worse and he won't let things to go downhill. He was very aware that Sumire is not very open-minded when it comes to Mikan.

"Still, I've caused you pain." Sumire found herself regretting the act she did earlier. If it wasn't for her bitchy side, Natsume wouldn't get hurt. All the bad things that kept happening to her, she blamed it all to Mikan Sakura. She detests the girl with so much passion.

"Because you should not have done that in the first place." She heard him say and he hoped Natsume won't lecture her tonight or ever. Should not have done that in the first place? Sumire wanted to laugh. She has always wanted to do that to Mikan. True she does not hate Mikan before and honestly she doesn't care about her at all and all she knew about Mikan was the stupid girl who is obsessed of Natsume. But when she ran away, Natsume started to act distant, it was when she started hating Mikan.

"What can I do? She's dividing your attention." Sumire tried to sound calm but her irritation was leaking. Her high-pitched voice was flooding the room.

Natsume grabbed the kit and did the bandaging. "Sumire, I thought we made an understanding."

Sumire nodded at waved her hand in midair. "I know. I know we have never gotten back. I know I am overreacting. I know I don't have the right or whatever. Natsume, I know."

She knew but she was not doing anything to change it.

"If you knew, then you should stop already. You can go now." Natsume drove her away already. He does not want to listen to her half-baked excuses and all-time stubbornness.

She was so close in opening the door when she stopped and asked a question. "Natsume, why did you save her? Do you really like her now?"

The boy stopped bandaging himself and replied. "Let's talk tomorrow." It was his safe reply.

Sumire frowned at this but seeing Natsume exhausted, she didn't pressed the topic anymore and silently left the room. She pinched her arm to stop herself from crying. The world has turned upside down. It was all messed up. All she can do was to get angry but every time she does, she was just driving Natsume farther. She ran a hand through her face. She doesn't know what to do anymore. She also doesn't know where to run.

* * *

Today was a typical day. All the classes are the same except for Biology. We did this super fun activity of examining the unusual plants that can only be seen in the Academy. We cut some parts of those 'self-reacting' plants. So far that was the most interesting lesson I ever had in Biology in my entire lifetime. Math is still difficult, no changes. English is kinda fine and the special classes are also fine.

It's already six in the evening and I'm stuck doing this English assignment with Ken, not that I am complaining to be with him. There are so many reasons why I hate writing essays. First, it requires time. Second, it requires drafting and rewriting. Third, as much as possible it needs to have unrepeated words. Fourth, the title. Fifth, the content. The content must be knowledgeable and effective. I am not a very smart person and I am also not an effective speaker. So how am I going to do this?

Yes, I did wrote a, I can say, wonderful essay before but I was emotional back then and I can relate greatly to the topic but now, gaah, I am having a hard time.

"How's your essay going so far?" I heard him asked. It was the fourth time he asked me that. Is he _that _curious of my writing? I examined my paper. Nothing good is written on it. I don't even have a title yet. All I can think about is a lame introduction.

I groaned. "The topic is stupid. I can't write anything." I finally answered.

He chuckled mockingly. "Are you really hopeless? You can't even write an essay? I pity your parents for having such child as you."

I threw him the crippled paper I used a couple of minutes ago. It hit him right straight in the eye. Oh boy, his reaction is adorable; his mouth opened and his eyes showed annoyance. Ken has so many expressions; like when he's hungry, his eyebrows are meeting, when he's getting impatient already, his cheeks depress. The expression he has now is my favorite. "Take that back. I am not hopeless. My parents are actually thankful for having a sweet child like me. Tell me, what kind of topic is 'waiting'? Surely our teacher could have thought of a better topic."

He slashed a piece of paper. "I don't have any complaints. I can relate to it. I can't really see why you cannot relate to it. In our lives, we always wait. And I'm not being sentimental I am just stating a fact. I am also not saying this for you to realize something, again, I am just stating a fact."

My eyes blinked a few times and I swallowed my saliva. Waiting is the subject I don't want to talk about because of Ken and yes, he is indeed trying to make me realize something, knowing him. "I haven't seen Nobara lately. Wonder what's wrong," I said as I scratch the three sentences I wrote for the supposed-to-be second paragraph. I'm good at deriving topics, am I? Stupid Ken. He does not need to bring that up. I am aware that he is waiting. I am also waiting if he must know. Waiting for the day when I'll be ready to face him.

Ken shifted his seat. "She's always busy."

I tapped my pen. "Exactly. She's always busy. The student council is not that busy, admit it. She will spend a few hours with us and then the next days she will be unseen." I stated my observation. It's not like I'm watching Nobara's every move but she always does that.

He scribbled a few words before answering. "You can always ask her about that when she comes back. You can always approach her." His answer was not helpful in any way. I was expecting him to give me a reason because I know he knows. Ken is too secretive.

"Right." I nodded. "I wonder when you will stop hiding things from me."

Ken was silent for a moment. I knew it. He was hiding something from me. "We're friends. We're supposed to tell each other everything."

He bored me his eyes. "You're not my friend."

"_What?_" I hissed.

He shrugged his shoulders and threw me his pen which I caught by the way. "I refuse to consider you as one." I raised my eyebrows and was ready to hit him with my stupid essay plus the pen he just threw me but he talked before I can do that. "I mean . . .you're _more_ than that."

_Oh, I see_.

I placed my paper and the pen down and instead pinched his nose. "Oh. I know." I said with a smile. "I would be said if I'm just a friend you know." This sentence was to tease him but I guessed it made him happy too. We kept smiling at each other for a couple of seconds before I closed my book and stood up. We're not supposed to be smiling at each other like that.

"Where are you going?" Ken asked. It seems like he was a bit disappointed that I was leaving in the middle of a good conversation.

"I forgot something in my room." I reasoned.

"I'll come with you," he said, standing up.

I pushed him back into his chair. "No. It's fine."

Truth is I have not forgotten something. I just want to talk to my Mom and I have to be extra careful just to see her. Our mother-daughter relationship is still a secret to some people and I do not want to ruin that secret. I do not want to wreck Mom's work here in the academy. Besides, this is the better thing to do.

I already reached her office but I'm still not knocking. Even if she's my mother, I still don't know when to enter in her life. Isn't that sad? I continued staring at the wooden door and finally snapped from my doubts when I sensed standing here is not beneficial at all, so I knocked.

"What a surprise. Hello, Mikan." She greeted me with that same cheerful smile again that I'm getting suspicious about.

I took a seat. "Can you do something for me, Mom?"

"Anything." She replied quickly.

"Please track Nobara Ibarragi for me."

She didn't move. "What's with the sudden interest of her?"

"She's my friend, Mom. Have I not told you?" Being her friend is reason enough for Mom to say yes.

She tried to remember. "Okay, give me a moment."

She looked at some records and typed at her computer. It didn't take so long before she has given me the good news.

She smiled. "She's inside the school premises. No need to worry. She'll be back tomorrow."

"Is she on a mission?" I followed up.

Mom was hesitant to confirm. "Yes."

"Is it dangerous?"

She reached for me and put the stray hair behind my ear. "Mikan, you know every mission is dangerous."

Another question, "Is Ken doing a mission right now?"

She closed her eyes and held my hand. "I'm sorry, dear. But I'm not allowed to reveal these confidential things to you. This is a breach of the school's policy."

I almost forgot. After all, my Mom needs to follow the rules. "Right. Sorry about that."

She caressed my hair. "It's okay. I know you are just worried. It's likely for you to get worried for Nobara but with Ken? Alright, what's happening between the two of you? Am I not knowing a very important detail?"

I blushed at the instant. "Nothing, Mom."

"You're lying." She gave me a teasing smile that only mothers have.

"I'm not," I firmly stated.

She flashed that motherly smile again to me. "You can always talk to me about your love life, Mikan. I'm your mother, come on. I'm interested."

I pouted. "Unbelievable. You are making me feel embarrass, Mom."

She still made fun of me. "Aww, my sweet little Mikan-chan is growing up. How fast the time is."

"Stop it. I'm going."

"Alright. Be careful my growing up daughter." Growing up daughter? I'm already grown up. I already had my first boyfriend. I am grown up.

"Mom!"

She just giggled.

I sighed the moment I got outside. Nobara is doing missions and so is Ken. That means their lives are always at risk. Ken also mentioned Natsume doing missions. I wonder how good they are when they are outside of the Academy. I stared at the dark night sky. How was everything outside? I miss the smell of my house. I miss my best friend. Ruka. I wonder what he's doing. I suddenly had the feeling that we will see each other soon.

No. This isn't right. If I continue missing them, it will only lead to bad things.

I continued walking on the empty hall when suddenly a door opened beside me, hitting me in the process. I winced. The impact was no joke. The door hit my face and sent me to the floor. I may have avoided Sumire's wrath but this door's wrath, I think, is just the same.

"Who the hell did that?" I yelled as I rubbed my nose. I think it's going to bleed.

"Shit. Didn't see you there." Even though I can't open my eyes, I knew Natsume was the one who talked. He grabbed me by the hand and helped me stood up. "Does it still hurt?" he asked as he touched the painful part, my nose.

"Aww, " I flinched. "What on Earth are you doing in a classroom at seven in the evening?" I asked him with so much annoyance.

He didn't answer. "Well, you're the stupid one who travels the hallway at this hour."

I removed his hand and scoffed. "I did something important. Not like you who are sneaking in school."

"Who told you I'm sneaking?" His tone was the same. Nonchalant and proud.

I palpated my nose. "Then what are you doing here?"

He looked away. "None of your business."

"Whatever."

I resumed my walking and paid no attention to him anymore.

"Sumire is having problems at the moment." He said behind my back. That made me stopped.

"Don't explain. She is never nice to me." I wonder if that statement will make him angry. I remember before that he does not want to hear any ill-talk about Sumire.

He placed his hands on his pockets and walked towards me. "I am asking you to understand her for her behavior. I'm also against it."

I motioned him to stop. "Don't defend her. I've had enough. You two leave me alone and I will spend the rest of my life in peace-"

"Right, with Nagihiko," he mumbled.

"What are you whispering? I heard you."

"Nagihiko is not who you think he is." He continued.

I scoffed. "Yeah right. And how did you know what I think of him?"

"Stay away from him," he warned.

I pushed him a bit using my remaining energy. "Shut up already. I don't need you telling me imbecile things like that. I'm gonna stay with Ken. He is gonna stay with me. And you, you are going to stay away from us." Did I really say that? Have I finally said that? "Got that? Do not interfere with my peaceful life anymore. You are nothing but a torture."

He looked hurt and grabbed my arm. "You know I can't do that. I see you every day, every day I know that I should protect you."

I tried to remove my arm away from his grasp. "I am not a weakling. Besides, why would you protect me?"

"Because I like you." So straightforward.

I smirked and shook my head in disbelief. "You can't just come back to my life and say you like me. Clearly, that's not how it works."

His expression didn't change. "I won't stop until you let me."

I glared at him. "Well, I'm telling you now. Stop."

I said it with the most serious tone I can use. I pushed him again, now stronger. I don't need him. We're done. He played with me. He made fun of me. He is the reason why I can't accept Ken. I hate him. Every time I see him, I see myself and my stupid behavior before. How dare he say he likes me when he can't even see my worth before? Am I really that entertaining to be played with?

* * *

The next day Nobara was absent again and so was Ken. I wonder what is happening. I feel so alone. All I could do was hold a small conversation between my other classmates and after that I'm starting to ask myself again if those two were alright.

This day is so far the worst. Where are them? I've knocked onto their rooms several times and still no answer. So much for being my true friends. Well, sarcastically speaking. Besides that, I am sensing something weird. They're still on their missions and I feel left out.

I should have befriended the entire class so when times like this comes, I wouldn't be such a loner.

I stretched my legs and arms. I looked around me and noticed someone's watching me. The direction of the wind changed and all of a sudden I can sense that whoever is watching me spells trouble. I stood up and ran towards the forest. The person watching over me leveled my speed. I stopped and so was the person. Whoever he or she is, he or she is creeps me out. I readied myself for the possibility of using my Alice.

"Who the hell are you?" I yelled to no one.

A figure appeared before the dark. "Persona, Miss Mikan Sakura." He has this weakening and threatening smile when he introduced himself. His aura is gloomy and he is wearing a mask with lots of Alice Controllers all over. This person is reeking of bad news.

I almost gasped. "You are the Dangerous Ability Class'- - -"

He smiled mischievously. "Yes. Yes, I am. I wonder how many times I've heard that. Moving on, I came here for your- - -"

"What? A warning?" I also interrupted him.

He snickered and walked nearer. "Your mother taught you well to interrupt a person talking huh."

I gave the same mischievous smile he was plastering me now. "Not really. I was just doing what you did. Now, what is your warning?"

He seems upset. Maybe he thought I would run from him. Too bad, I'm a tough girl. "Natsume Hyuuga, Ken Nagihiko and Nobara Ibarragi are my students. They're doing missions. They are my best students but now they have to undergo training. _Again_."

Again?

I jumped back, distancing myself from him. "What does that have to do with me?"

He examined me from head to toe. I can tell by his reaction that he is not at least please with me. "Can't you see? You are the reason why they have to train again. Hyuuga and Nagihiko will not end the day without a fight. Worst? It's over you. You are not even-what they call- pretty."

"How dare you look down on me." I was insulted.

He continued. "Most of all, your friendship with Nobara is something I will never approve of."

That sentence of his bothered me greatly. For him to say such thing he must be very close with Nobara but since I've met her, she didn't even mention his name or mere existence. "It has nothing to do with you."

"It has _everything_ to do with me. Because of you their attention are divided," he said darkly. He placed his hand on his mask and smirked threateningly. I knew at that moment that I am no longer safe here.

This Persona guy is freaking me out.

I swallowed my saliva. "That's a lame reason. You are just their teacher but they have not sumbit their lives to you. Why don't you just say you're jealous of me? That you're afraid that I might make them change their minds." I stared at his reaction. Even with his mask on, I can feel I just hit the bubble. "Bulls eye."

"For a newbie, you sure are arrogant," he hissed.

"At least I'm capable of being one." _At_ _least_ I can be confident sometimes. "Moving back, they're my friends now, well, except for Natsume Hyuuga, you can do whatever you want with him but leave Ken and Nobara alone."

This time he was suddenly before me and grabbed my neck. I choked at the instant. I tried removing his hand; I was almost out of breath. "_You_ leave them alone. You are nothing but a distraction, causing havoc between my two top students!" His gripped tightened and I am already out of air. I can pass out anytime.

"Let go." I managed to say. I can feel my sweat dripping from my face. "Let. . . " I can hear him chuckling. I am so near to crying. "I said let go!" I finally fought. I kicked him in the stomach and pushed his hand away. I coughed while I was regaining my normal breathing.

I activated my Barrier Alice. "I don't really know what's going on. But it's not me that you should be confronting, it should be them. Stop wasting my time!"

He laughed. "Stay away from them then."

I jumped back. "And if I don't? You'll kill me? You'll make me suffer? Seriously, I've had enough."

"Making your life miserable is as easy as eating a pie."

I clenched my teeth. Why are there so many people who want to make my life a living hell? "Yeah, as if I'm not miserable enough. Now if you please excuse me. I want to rest."

I just put myself in trouble, right? Me and my stupid mouth. Why did I have to be so damn brave? Good thing he didn't attack me from the back while I was walking away. I touched the place where he gripped me. My walking slowed. I could really die back there. It's scary.

"Hey!"

I quickly turned around and automatically hit the person. "What the! Don't do that again! I told you before not to do that again."

"We haven't seen each other all day and all you will do is smacked me." Ken said with a bright smile. His hair was messy, he looked exhausted, his clothes were slightly dirty but he can still smile like that.

I smacked him again in the head. "Because your actions are idiotic, you deserve a hit."

"You're shaking." My eyes widened, he noticed.

I looked at my hand. I am still shaking. Is it because of Persona? Damn. "It's just cold."

"It's Spring."

I blinked and nodded. "Right."

He looked at my back and back at me. "Who are you with?"

I also stared at the direction where he just looked. "Huh? I'm with nobody."

"I mean before I came." He pointed out.

"No one. Promise," I insisted, waving my hand.

He examined me more. "You are not in trouble, right?"

Ken's definitely suspicious today. "Definitely not."

He is still not convinced. "Good."

We started walking. I wanted to ask him why he is still up or where he came from but I found no guts to talk. My mind was still preoccupied with my encounter to Persona. "Will I be seeing you and Nobara tomorrow?" I absentmindedly asked.

I was still looking at the floor when I heard Ken's voice. "What? You miss me?"

I ended my gaze at the floor and looked at him. "No! I just don't want to be alone again."

His facial features softened. "What happened, Mikan?"

"Nothing."

He caressed my cheeks. "You're lying. I'll ask you again. What happened?"

I didn't say a word. I just looked at him with my eyes drowning in tears. _I was so scared_, I wanted to tell him that but this will just result to a more complicated situation. There I was crying in front of him again and just like the first time and many times before he hugged me.

"It's going to be okay. I promise. I'll always be here for you."

When he said that, I could not help but sob more.

**End of Chapter**

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**I know. I'm bad. It's been more than one month. I know. I'm bad. But. . . . exams are over! I can update again! **

**What can you say about the confrontation of Natsume to Mikan? And Ken's sweetness? And to my bad grammar?**

**Ask me anything.**

**Review? **


	13. Beneath

A chapter dedicated to _Ria Espanilla(airmour)_. I apologize for not updating the day I said I will. This chapter is for you and I hope you will enjoy it.

* * *

**The Second Book**

**Chapter Thirteen**

_**Beneath**_

**Written by: **_**keaRy anCe**_

It's about time.

For what?

For him to show up, return and live like before. Although that sentence is a bit dramatic.

Ruka Nogi is a prince charming. Together with Natsume, they rule the school by stealing the hearts of poor little girls not to mention they are both achievers in both academic and athletic aspects. Ruka is described as the kind-hearted, sweet, gentleman of Sumiasen. All they know was that, they don't know what lies under that.

He's been with friends with Natsume since they were tiny babies. They had their first school together at Alice Academy; the school where nothing is normal. He has the Animal Pheromone Alice. He's also a popular kid at Alice Academy but he doesn't care about that at all. He is the simple guy in the surface and beneath. Ruka's arrival in Alice Academy was delayed because of his own request. He wanted to say goodbye to a certain person properly.

"Hotaru," he started. He was about to add something when the girl started to interrupt him.

"It's true then." She said with her monotonous voice.

Ruka glanced at the bags in his hands. "Uh. . .yeah."

Hotaru's expression was irritated and at the same time, sad. "Why are you still going back? You're perfectly fine here."

"I don't belong here." Ruka answered.

"Are you an idiot? You obviously belong here."

Hotaru didn't want him to go. She saw something in him that made her act like this. She cannot afford to lose Ruka now and the fact that she was afraid that Ruka might come back to liking Mikan scares her. Hotaru felt like hating herself for competing with her own best friend.

"Hotaru, I want to go back to the academy. I've been waiting for this day. I believe I told you that." Ruka reminded.

"You did. So there's no stopping you then?"

Ruka nodded.

She surrendered. "Very well then, just send my regards to Mikan."

Ruka was surprised by what he just heard. "What do you mean?"

"Mikan's there. At Alice Academy."

Her revelation was perfect in terms of timing. Since Natsume, Ruka, and Mikan will meet once again in the same area, she better inform him in advance to avoid shock. She could not help but to wish she is an Alice too, to reunite with Mikan and to not let go of Ruka. Now she's really crazy.

"How's that possible? She can't be. . . she's- Hotaru, that is impossible."

She rolled her eyes at his stuttering reaction. "Everything's possible if you must know. I bet you're happy knowing that she's an Alice."

"No. Alice Academy is a dangerous place. Why did you let her go there? She ran away from Natsume. Natsume is there!"

"I don't know, Ruka! Maybe Mikan has her own mind, right? And she just used that mind to get away from the pain. I'm her best friend that's why I let her. Besides, it didn't cross my mind that you and Natsume are Alices. So stop shouting at me like it's my damn fault, Ruka."

Ruka was caught off guard by Hotaru's outburst. "S-sorry. I'm just surprised. I didn't mean to shout at you."

"It's fine. I mean, I understand. Since we're talking about Mikan here."

Ruka sensed the pain in Hotaru's tone. "Hotaru."

"Just shut up, Ruka." Hotaru said in a cold manner. "Just shut up and go."

He gave a sad expression. "Don't be like that, Hotaru. You are being unfair."

"Right. Sorry. I just thought you're happier here."

"Someday, we'll meet again."

Someday is indefinite. It doesn't promise anything or making something. It is not the word she wanted to hear from him and although she sounded so desperate now, she cannot stop herself.

"Yeah, someday."

Indefinitely.

* * *

"So, it's night again, huh."

These past few days have been indifferent. Ken and Nobara were barely there, Natsume was popping out of nowhere, and lastly that meeting with Persona. I'm really not normal, eh? Everyday crazy things happen to me and some of it was not likeable. If I stay too long in my room, they will send somebody to check up on me and I can't help but to feel imprisoned.

Reading books became my unlikely hobby and I think it's bad for me because it lets me imagine things I want to happen in my life but almost impossible to happen. Classes were mediocre and I don't need any lesson to improve my Alice. I don't feel like doing anything. I though a talk with Ken could be better but he was nowhere to be found. I guess DA's pretty busy.

To say that this boring life sucks is an understatement. I guess I'll take a little tonight. I'll tour around the school and maybe discover something beneath the surface.

That should kill my boredom.

* * *

The Dangerous Ability Class was having their another strategy meeting but it seems that Persona was not yet finish with his assignment that is why the meeting was postponed for a few hours and now they were just talking about anything. The DA Class was also full of jokers and teasing. Laughs erupted throughout the hall. The students tried to enjoy as much as they can because the outside world is cruel on them. Moments like this are like their escape to reality.

Tonight, they gathered around the Glass Hall. Glass Hall was obviously made of glass where everybody inside the vicinity can see the outside clearly while the people outside have no idea what's going on inside.

Ken, with Nobara, made it to the meeting earlier than Natsume. The tension when the two bumped into each other accidentally was indescribable. Everyone in the room could feel the heat and wind smashing into each other. Both made snide remarks about each other's capabilities.

"Stop it you two," Nobara halted, "You don't want to make a mess tonight, both of you."

"Say that to this dude here," Ken smirked.

Natsume made a disgusting look with Ken's sentence. "Why don't you say it to your face instead, Nagihiko?"

"I don't listen to cowards."

"I don't believe in morons."

Ken was so tempted to punch him in the face. "How dare you come back here."

"Easy. Because I can." Natsume's smirk was proud and boastful. It was clearly meant to insult Ken.

"Damn you!"

Nobara had enough of the two. "I said stop! Why can't you just get along like everybody else? Wouldn't that make things far easier here in DA?"

"Fine," Ken said.

Natsume and Ken let go of the deathly gazes and approached their respective seats. Nobara was glad that she stopped the fight temporarily and frowned when she remembered how the two punched each other's faces two weeks ago. Just when everyone though the tension subsided, one member stood up.

"Listen to this, guys. Our cute little Ken-chan here is pursuing somebody."

The group started to cheer and tease Ken. Nobara wanted to stop the conversation but she was too late and besides Ken gave in to the topic.

"What's she like, Ken?" a girl asked.

Ken smiled at the moment and blush a little. This little action caused more teases.

"She's loud and crazy and confusing and wonderful."

"Ken's got herself a girlfriend."

Ken shook his head. He liked the words but he will like it more if it were true. "She's not my girlfriend. But I wish she is."

"So your love story with Nobara has finally ended?" the starter of the teases asked.

Ken glanced at Nobara who was looking away all this time. He remembered the way he annually asked her to be his date for the Spring Dance and how much they enjoyed each other's company. Flashbacks ran through his mind; it was mainly good memories between him and Nobara. When Mikan came, everything changed. He became fond of Mikan but his friendship with Nobara didn't lessen. It was something that Mikan didn't notice and cannot change.

It was never a bet when he asked her to the Spring Dance last year. It was just a story made by boring freaks. Ken asked her secretly every year. Nobara had always said yes except for last year because the school started to gossip about it and she doesn't want to be in the limelight.

She had been his date as always but no one noticed it because they were never mushy with each other. When they are together, they acted with each other just like close friends and when they are alone, they just talked about anything.

That's what Ken and Nobara really is. Beneath.

* * *

"_So your love story with Nobara has finally ended?"_

Natsume gritted his teeth when he heard that. This is why he doesn't want Mikan to be so close to him. If Natsume is bad news, Ken too. But Mikan is damn doubtful. His words didn't have any effect on her and no matter how sincere he came to be, she still shuts him off.

He's residing in this academy for almost his life and he's always been in the DA Class. He knew every attitude of his so called allies. He knew about how Nobara is not really that vulnerable in reality. He knew about Ken's connection with Nobara. He knew about Sumire's family problem before she herself knew it. He knew Ruka always liked Mikan but made her his girlfriend because he thought she was fun to play with.

He knew he was a bastard. But it changed through Mikan's words. Like magic, he changed.

She changed him just like that. That's why he cannot afford Mikan to get hurt again.

* * *

Ken and Nobara parted from the others to have a private talk. They went to their spot and comfortably sat in the grass. Their spot is on the south wing of the hall. It's pretty isolated from the other. It was surrounded by glass but the there is no ceiling so it's an open area. The two stargazed for a moment before Ken talked.

"I'm sorry you have to hear that," he said in a casual tone.

Nobara smiled timidly. "It's okay. I won't be affected by such comments."

"I know you won't."

"Mikan should know," she said in a serious tone. She was guilty and it's killing her.

The boy shrugged and scratched his head. "Do you really think it's important? I mean, we never really had reached that point in our relationship."

"She might think that we're lying to her." She implied.

Ken felt nervous suddenly when he thought about it carefully. Nobara was right. Mikan might doubt to his feelings and he never wanted that to happen. "Fine. I will tell her as soon as I see her."

"What's the status of your relationship with her now?" Nobara asked as she looked directly into his eyes.

Ken admired the color of her eyes for nth time. "We're still really good friends."

She knew that Ken was not satisfied with that that is why she felt sad for him. "Ken, I don't know that Natsume is her ex. I should have known but she said she's never been in a relationship before."

"It's cool. The bastard is nothing to Mikan now." He said in confidence.

"He is trying to win her back." She stated the obvious.

Ken frowned. "Win my ass."

At that moment, she admired his determination in pursuing Mikan. It was the exact same look he showed her a few years ago. She shut her eyes for a moment and realized why they're really good friends until now. The answer was pretty simple: She was wrong. If for Ken, nothing had changed, it's different in her part. She was losing him and it was all her fault but even so she was happy that Mikan is a great girl.

"Ken, what if, you know, I said 'yes'. Do you think things will be different now?"

"I can't imagine. Please don't ask me that."

"I'm sorry. You're right. I should not ask you those things."

* * *

Where to go? Suddenly, I really went out to see the AA grounds and in a night time. I think there's just something with the wind tonight. It was colder and more peaceful and I like it the best when things are just like that. As I walk, I can now appreciate AA's architecture design. It was a very old school and went through lots of renovations but still the original structure is there. I agree that originality still is the best.

Alice Academy's history must be really rich. I want to read about that as soon as possible. Thinking about that, I wonder what my future will be. Sad part is I don't think I will be able to get out of here with these Alices. They have their eyes on me and it was the most uncomfortable thing in the world. Their wishes had been commanded since after all those hiding, I am now here. Enough of that.

Not very long a building made with glass stumbled in front of me. There was something about it and I got intrigued. I tried to find where the door was but there was none. I smiled knowing that the mysterious aura lingering around the building is challenging me.

"Let's see about that."

I was about to break the glass with one of my stolen Alices when I heard voices. Familiar voices. I can't hear them at first and then I searched for the voices and the next thing I knew is that I am able to hear them.

"_I'm sorry. You're right. I should not ask you those things."_

I was ecstatic. It was Ken and Nobara. But the next sentences felt weird.

* * *

"It's not like I'm disappointed and upset that after all these years you can't still see me as that, it's just that it is something so important to me. Those are the best memories of my life," Ken made a pause, "It's weird for me to talk like this but you know me. Once I see that person important, it will stay that way."

Nobara made a deep sigh. "I can't believe we are having this talk."

Ken made a shy smile. "Me either. We should have done this long before."

"I cannot agree with that. We're immature before and it will only lead is to bicker."

It took Ken a few second before he answered. "You have a point there."

"But really, Ken, do you think our story has finally ended? Is it really over between us?"

Nobara's tone was playful and little did he know she was serious about it. Little did he know how much she wished he would say 'no'. She knew that Ken will just answer in a joking manner but still the hope in her heart didn't vanish.

"Are you trying to win me?" he joked.

Nobara chuckled a little. "No, just asking."

"You know. . . I'm crazy about Mikan."

Nobara wanted to frown when she heard that but seeing Ken's smile, she couldn't.

"I can see that."

* * *

Their story? What the hell were they talking about? I never heard Nobara talked that way before. I didn't know that they were _that _close. I want to interrupt them and interrogate them. They aren't telling me something. This is stupid. Why do I feel like crying? They will never lien to me. They are the closest persons in my life now and lying. . .to me. . .that is not possible.

I turned around and gasped when Natsume was in front of me.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

He groaned. "Not that question again."

"This glassy building," I pointed "Is this DA's meeting place?"

"How do you know?" he asked in monotone.

I raised my brows and crossed my arms. "Nobara and Ken are there and you, here."

"Guess you can say that."

I rolled my eyes at the boringness in his tone. I made a few steps when he said something.

"I you saw Ibarragi and Nagihiko together and judging from you reaction, you must have heard something."

That is correct.

I turned around to face him and saw he didn't move from his spot. "Why? Is there something that I should know?"

He smirked. "I know you already know."

"How?"

"Glass Hall's south wing is their spot."

"Their?" I asked in complete confusion.

His facial features hardened and I can tell that what will Natsume say next isn't any of my likings. "I told you Nagihiko is not what you think who he is."

"He is not lying about his feelings." I defended, my voice trembling. Gosh, why do I feel so weak?

"But did he tell you about his little relationship with your friend?"

"Nobara and Ken hadn't been in a . . . . "

He placed his hands inside his pockets and looked at me. "Can't say it? Surprising fact for you, they were almost an item. But that's long ago, almost half a year when you ran away."

"I'm sure they have a good reason for not telling me."

Even if they have a good reason, they should have told me. Defending them despite of the lies. I am indeed a good friend. I was so sure I have left this attitude before. I trusted again, too much. I thought since they were so kind and welcoming they are trustable.

He walked closer to me. I cannot move my feet but I wished to run. "And you're okay with that? I remember you said that you cried when I told you that I'm busy in your birthday."

I glared at him for making me remember that. "That's a different story. You were never honest from the very start."

"Exactly and so they are." Natsume pointed out and I just realized it.

"Don't talk to me."

He shrugged his shoulders and ran a hand through his hair. "Know him more, then. If you refuse to believe me, then ask him."

"Why did you come back here?" I asked, my voice shouting.

"This is where I belong."

Somehow, I felt pain when he said that. There was something in Natsume's voice that made it sadder. He is stuck in here and the only reason he got out was because of Sumire. This is the place where he belongs but judging from his tone and attitude, he wasn't happy here. I wonder if he wants out of here too.

"Do you think you can go out of here someday?" I asked, now in a relax tone.

Natsume looked away, like he envisioned himself being free from AA's power. "With my Alice, low chances."

That made me hitched my breath. He's also thinking the same thing.

"Is Ruka an Alice?"

He nodded. "He is and he'll be here anytime soon."

"What?" I spat.

He massaged his nape and gazed right through my eyes."He's coming back, Mikan. Another boy, eh?"

I blushed at the comment and automatically distanced myself from him. "Don't call me by my first name and between me and Ruka is none of your stinking business."

"I'm sorry."

"Useless," I spat, "Your apology is a century late."

**End of Chapter**

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**Three months of my absence is irritating, right? I apologize.**

**This update is for May Madness. The movement where everyone should update, makes stories, and get crazy. **

**I hope it didn't make you confuse with the sudden transitions. **

**Review? **


	14. Sometimes

**A/N: **I dedicate this chapter for all those who waited.

**The Second Book**

**Chapter Fourteen**

_**Sometimes **_

**Written by: **_**keaRy anCe**_

_You could be my hero if only I can let go. . . – Broken Arrow, Pixie Lott_

Last night's event hunted me and didn't put me to sleep. The fact that Ken liked me was the fact I set aside for the moment because of his lies and with Nobara's lies also. Plus, Natsume made things even more complicated through his words that had understated messages. Why was it so hard to find true friends? Why it was when I put my complete trust on that person, that person would do something that will hurt me? Why did life hate me so much? And after all the hurt I experienced, I was still affected. I never learned.

I touched my face and I realized I was crying. I was still a crybaby. When would I stop being such a crybaby? At this point in my life, I could not believe that there was still something that could make me cry. I removed my blanket and got out from by bed to check my appearance on the mirror and as expected I looked like crap. I was about to go back to bed when I felt my stomach growling and too bad I didn't have any food in my room so I have to open the door, walk, get some food… why was I thinking like this? I was never the detailed one and the lazy bum.

So I opened the door and found Ken standing in front of me.

"What are you doing here?" I asked with my firm voice and stiff features. I knew very well why he was in front of me, of course, to enlighten me. He could be another lying freak like Natsume Hyuuga but I wanted to give Ken a chance like what I did to the lying freak. He knew my story and I kinda knew that he wouldn't do what Natsume did. Besides, he didn't cheat on me. He just didn't tell me things, important things but I will give him a hard time.

He looked up to me, his eyes were worried and he looked tired. "I want to explain," he said in his casual tone. He looked pretty desperate to me.

"I don't know what to say about that. I don't know if I will let you because it might be just another lie or may be the truth but I still choose not to believe you," I said, my hand was still on the door.

He was with Nobara before. I knew I didn't have the right to enter in their personal deals but Ken was pursuing me so they could have at least told me so that I was aware. What if I was hurting Nobara's feeling all this time? Yes, it was a secret-almost-relationship but still… I was their friend. Ken, of all people, should have told me. I deserved that. I deserved to know.

Ken glanced at his side, his expression was showing hurt, and said, "I am not lying to you. I just didn't tell you everything."

I felt unimportance. I thought that he trusted me and he could easily open up with me since we're friends and maybe something more but he confirmed it, he was just not telling me everything. I felt like crying but I knew it would take time before I will cry in front of him today. "You had a relationship with her. You could have told me that before you started doing nice things for me. I am not stupid, Ken. I can understand your situation if it is like that," I said with so much emotions, sadness and anger were clashing.

He held my hand and lowered his head. "We didn't think it was important."

I removed my hand from his grasp. "What part of it wasn't important? If it's not important to you guys, then to me it does have a value. You guys are my friends and warning me about it is the least you two could do. No wonder Natsume told me those things."

His head remained down and suddenly, he was looking up again. "What things?" he asked with seriousness.

I could not help but smirk. I wanted him to have a taste of his own medicine. Natsume was still a sensitive topic for him and not because of me because I had the feeling that they had a deeper conflict. I wonder what that was really. "You really wanna know? I don't think it's important." I said to him using his words from earlier.

"Mikan, do not use my words against me." He stated the obvious.

I just grinned at him, my arms crossing. Ken didn't really get it. Natsume's words were nothing in my opinion. That boy could blab as much as he wanted and I won't still care. He didn't deserve my attention since he hadn't given me a real one. "But I'm not lying. Natsume's words aren't really important no matter how true they are," I assured him. "He is just a pest who keeps on talking to me but don't worry. It's not like I have something to do with him," I added. I knew those words were harsh but not harsh enough.

"You still talk to him?" he asked with his worried tone. I wanted to laugh at him and say that there was really nothing to be worried about because I could take care of myself and I knew better now. Ken was such a worry wart.

"Do not change the topic," I warned as I sensed that we will lead to the Natsume talk again.

He glanced at his side again and muttered, "I'm sorry."

"Are you going to tell me about it?" I asked, wanting to hear his explanation.

He stared at my eyes and based on his expression I knew I would just be disappointed. When he said what he had to say, I wanted to strangle him. "No. Nobara and I decided to keep it t ourselves."

But I had to respect their decision. After all, it was made before I came into the scene. "For privacy?" I reasoned. I was trying to convince myself that was the reason.

"Yeah, personal reasons." He just said. I think he just copied my reason.

I nodded and was about to close the door when I said, "You know what, Ken? I don't think I could survive a day with you and Nobara without thinking what happened to your past. I guess it's better to—"

"No," he interrupted.

"I'm not saying anything yet!" I quickly said.

He shook his head like I was about to steal something so precious from him, like he was witnessing a very gloomy scene. "You cannot ask me to part ways with you. I can't do that. Mikan, you know how I feel for you. Did it never cross your mind that maybe why Nobara and I decided just to be friends because we don't see each other as being together? Mikan, we never reached to the point of being a together. Believe me please. All I know now is that you are the most important person in my life. Please, do not push me away. We can still fix this."

My grip on the door tightened. "But still…"

"I'm so crazy about you," he said, breathless and instead of feeling scared because it sounded like he was obsessed with me, I felt concern and love from him. Ken was not the type to be obsessed with someone and I was sure of it. Sometimes, when we were in love, we say the most exaggerated things. Which reminds me, did he really love me?

So he said that he was crazy about me and Ken said it in his weakest voice like he was trying to say it to me a long time before but couldn't find the right time. He was desperate to defend himself and to keep me. He didn't want me away. He really was a sweet guy and I didn't think I could survive a day without seeing him also.

It was like I was connecting the dots now. That maybe the reason why Natsume had to be so hurtful was for me to meet Ken and enjoy my life with him. That maybe why after all these years of rejecting the academy, I was the one who came to them and here I met Ken. Epiphany was hitting me. Realization was coming up to me until I remembered Natsume's words last night about Ruka coming here. All of a sudden, I stared into space and the day he confessed to me crossed my mind.

"Please don't leave me. We can talk about this and I promise to tell you everything. I will never keep anything from you again."

Ken's voice had awoken me and I gasped for air. Ruka was here in Alice Academy. I didn't know what I will tell him when we see each other again. I was out of ideas on how I will greet him. It felt awkward. First, it was now awkward being with Nobara and Ken on the same place and now it was awkward seeing Ruka again because back in the outside world, he was like Ken to me; always there for me.

"Do you promise that?" I asked Ken, cutting my train of thoughts. I will just think of a solution when I will see Ruka.

"Yes," he answered and I could feel his pure honesty.

I smiled knowing how much trust and honesty he was showing me and I, myself, didn't know if I could be the same to him. I was unfair and it was eating me up. Being so trusting and honest had led me to the most miserable parts of my life. But Ken was Ken.

My smile turned into a knowing smirk. "Very well, did you get close to me to know my Alice?"

* * *

Memories were coming back to Ruka as he took a walk in the academy. It had been so long since he left his original school, the school where he really belonged. Alice Academy didn't undergo major changes for the past years but it was still giving Ruka a new vibe, like he was in this place for the first time. He was excited to sightsee, hoping to see Mikan in one of the buildings and finally talk to her again after so many months.

He knew very well that Mikan rejected her and he could never win against Natsume but he wanted to see her as a friend. For the past months that Mikan was gone, Hotaru had been there for him, not always physically present but always there somehow, sometimes. They had something going on but it couldn't go on because he knew that he would eventually leave that place and could never be with Hotaru Imai. Ruka had still feelings for Mikan, he admitted to himself and to Hotartu as well but it was not as strong as before and slowly, he knew that the feeling was fading away. His best friend wanted Mikan back and if before the girl knew that Natsume had been lying on her the whole time, he still hadn't had the chance, there would be no difference now.

"You're back." A voice said from his side and as he glanced he saw Sumire Shouda with her arms crossed and her features were fierce.

Ruka was not the type who would be disrespectful to a person and especially to a girl but Sumire had never been one of his favorite people because she had an attitude that he didn't like and the girl didn't care if she was hurting others just for her to be happy. Ruka faced him and said, "Yes, I am." He said shortly, his tone was nice but edgy.

Sumire scoffed him with her short but strong gasp. "That's a laugh. Another Mikan-lover is here."

He shook his head slowly as he said, "I see you haven't change, Sumire. You still like to meddle with other people's businesses." He wanted to mock her and enrage her.

Sumire simply narrowed her eyes and her lips were in a thin line. She stepped forward to Ruka and eyed him like he was a pathetic thing to look at. She broke the gaze and focused on the hallway ahead of her and said, "That's me. Insult me all you want but I won't care." She said the last line glancing at Ruka.

Ruka lifted his hand on midair and looked at her apologetically though she was not looking at him. "Nah, I don't plan on doing that. It's just a waste of time."

She glared at him and spat, "Speak for yourself."

"What do you want?" Ruka asked directly. He was tired with all of the charades that had been going. He knew that Sumire wanted something from him, may it be information or a not-so-friendly advice. "You didn't wait for me just to argue with me, right? So, what is it that you want?"

Sumire looked at him. Finally, they were talking. "Your best pal. He changed." She said. "He is not like that before and you know it," Sumire added.

Ruka gave her a look like he was thinking about what she said until he smiled mischievously and said, "Good for him. I have never liked you for him. If there is one person who had not done anything good for him, it will be you. You abused his feelings. You made him cheat to a girl. This is all your doing so don't complain. You are the reason why he realized he doesn't love you anymore and he wants to be with Mikan now. You made him realize that you are no good."

Sumire was shocked at Ruka's short speech. She tried for many years to get along with him and she still hadn't got him. Her mouth opened in surprised and gritted her teeth afterwards. "How dare you say that? You know of all people that I am honest with my feelings for him. I want nothing but the best for him!" she said.

Sumire was really honest and never lied about her feelings for Natsume that was why she was getting sensitive when people were doubting her feelings for the boy because if there was one thing she was sure about her life, that would be her love for him. Ruka was pushing her buttons unconsciously. Telling to her face that she was nothing but a bad influence to Natsume was mean because, as she already said, she wanted nothing but the best for the raven-haired boy.

"Yeah, I know. But that's just it, Sumire. You just love him. But you are not willing to do any good for him unlike Mikan who accepted Natsume even though he's a jerk to her," Ruka retorted.

Sumire lifted her pointing finger and said, "Do not compare with that girl. We are a lot different. Natsume and I broke up because I don't want him to get hurt. I am protecting him. I don't want him to be the target again."

The blond-haired boy nodded like he understood and accepted her words but he didn't. "Have you really? Because if you did, then why did Mikan see you together more often than her being with Natsume? You broke up. For real? Then why did you still act like a couple? Why didn't you care about Mikan's feelings? Why did you let Natsume do all of that?" Ruka asked, desperate for answers because if there was one person responsible for all of this chaos, that would be Sumire.

"It's because Natsume didn't love her," Sumire answered in full confidence.

Ruka was stopped momentarily by her reply but suddenly he remembered that that was in the past and this was the present. "Now he does," he said to her face.

Fear crept into her composed features. Sumire was aware that Ruka was right and she was now the girl who was denying to herself that the boy she loved found someone else already. "That's impossible, don't you think?" she mocked.

Ruka frowned and said, "Look, why don't you just accept it like every other girl?"

Sumire refused to do what Ruka just said. "You know what Natsume and I have been through? We had our ups and downs and we survived together. We have plans. That Sakura girl could not just take all that away."

"She already did."

Sumire frowned her lips, her eyes narrowed, and said, "I won't let her have her way."

"Mikan ran away from Natsume. She definitely is not having her way. Face it. She is not trying to get him back. Natsume is the one who wants her back in his life and this time without you," Ruka said, trying to make a point.

"How can you be so mean?" Sumire asked, disbelieving the character Ruka was showing her.

"I didn't say I'm not," Ruka told her, smirking a little.

Sumire's eyes widened in disbelief and said, "But you are the nice one!"

The boy shrugged and placed his hands on his pocket, turning around. "Maybe, I am. But I'm only nice to people who actually deserve it."

"Damn you," Sumire said sharply.

"Speak for yourself," Ruka retorted and started walking.

Sumire got alarmed and yelled, "Don't walk away from me! Where are you going? We are still talking."

Ruka turned his head to see her and said with an unpleased expression, "Bug off. I'm going to Natsume."

"Ruka!" she called out loud, "Ruka!" she yelled but the boy continued his exit.

* * *

I wanted nothing from him but his honesty. Ken couldn't look straight at me and from that I already knew the answer. Now, all my problem was, I didn't know how to react. I continued looking at him. He looked restless and problematic and I had the hint that I am the cause of all of that. It was really unexpected on how things turned out this way because just the other day I was missing him and now we're fighting like we were already a couple.

"Yes," he finally answered which caused me to hitch a breath. "But that was at first," he quickly added.

I gulped and stared at the view in his back for not knowing what to say until I got an idea and blurted it out. "Then you got to know me better and realized that I am a deeper person than you think and then you saw something in me that made you interested in me. Because of that, you felt something and suddenly it wasn't 'knowing' about my Alice anymore. That's it? That is what you're trying to say?"

Ken scratched the top of his eyebrow and smiled shyly at me which was an adorable act and at the same time questionable because I asked myself when did he become so cute. "Kinda. You beat me out of it."

"Tell me something I haven't heard before, Ken." I dared him. "Make me believe in you again. Put back my trust in you and make sure that you will never break it again. Come on, prove it to me." Challenging him wasn't as hard as what I was asking him to do but it was still tough because I had no idea if I would be disappointed or satisfied. I was giving him another chance. He deserved it. I knew.

"You're… you're different!" he yelled childishly that made me surprised. "I know something is wrong with you the very first day we met. I was interested in you the very moment we chatted. Because of that, I want to know your Alice and I discovered that you're a Multi-user and that's when I want to know more about you. I really don't know how, why, when but I just came to like you. You are special to me and I just don't know it. I feel it."

I was speechless with what he said. I had been longing for those words for a long time and hearing it from the person that somehow changed my life was great and I had never felt this special before in my life and with all of that, I didn't know what to say. "Prove it," I said, my tone was demanding.

"Prove what?" he asked, his eyes showed me his questions and confusions.

My lips made an evil grin, "Prove to me that you're different to Natsume."

He didn't look surprised and just shrugged his shoulders. "That's easy. But why do you still let him run your life?" he asked and I was caught off guard.

Natsume was not running my life anymore. He was my bitter past. He was the boy I was so in love it that I didn't care if he didn't love me back or was lying to me the whole time. Natsume was not all bad because after all he took me on a date and he knew what he did. Now, Natsume was back in my life and he was giving me these subtle messages that I thought was only for a show. He said he wanted me back. What a foolish thing to say. I would never want him back again. Never. So if it looked like that Natsume was running my life today, it was wrong.

"I don't."

Ken gave me a look. "Do not compare me with him."

"I can't help it. Must be the trauma." I reasoned out.

He took a breath and placed his hands on the mid-part of my arms. "Listen, I am not like Natsume Hyuuga."

I stared at him for a while until I said, "I guess you are right. Ken?"

"Yes?"

"Please do not keep any secrets from me again," I said, my tone indicated that I was serious and worried at the same time.

He nodded. "I'm sorry. Sure."

"Are you keeping a secret from me now?"

His eyes focused on the ceiling for a while before he said, "I don't think so."

I smiled at him, glad that I knew he was telling the truth and I smiled wider when he smiled back at me. "Good. It's just that I care for you and you are one of my closest friends."

"A friend. Right." He said in a hurt tone.

I chuckled and grabbed his hand. "Yes, now, let's eat."

"Mikan," he called out as his grip on my hand tightened a little

I turned my head to face him and asked, "What?"

He grabbed my free hand, his head looked down for a quick second and immediately looked at me. I swallowed my saliva, my heart beat was racing. He opened his mouth but nothing came at first showing that he was nervous then he made a quick and light chuckle before he broke into an awkward smile and said, "My feelings for you haven't changed. It's still the same and I am sorry for making you doubt on me. I know what you've been through and been experiencing and I cannot promise you the world or everything but I promise to always be there. I will be there if you don't even need me and I will be there more when you need me."

This boy. Gosh. Ken was not perfect and I knew it. He could do and go wrong. He was like an angel in disguise that came into my life and made it better. I could almost fall in love with him here and now but there was a part of me saying that I didn't like this feeling. I was afraid to be hurt again. But I think I would regret it if I wouldn't take the chance. Hearing those words from Ken made me want to cry and tell him that I would do the same for him, that I would always be there also.

"Ken. I'm giving you another chance. Don't blow it. Show me that I have no reason to be afraid of being with you. Prove me wrong in that and erase all my doubts," I said heartily as I placed a hand on his cheek.

He grabbed my hand and kissed it. "Promise, I won't."

I bit my lip. "Do not promise me. Do it."

"Does this mean that there is a big possibility that you and I can be together?" he asked, his face turned from a determined expression to a grinning one

I removed my grasp from him and crossed my arms. "I don't know. Maybe, maybe not."

He shook his head as he smiled in defeat. "Well, it's not like I'm impatient but sure I'll wait. You're worth it."

I felt that my lips made a big beam and all I could hear were the beatings of my heart. Right in front of me was a boy saying that a girl like me was worth the wait. I could not ask for more. I had a feeling that this day would be one of the bests.

Because I didn't know what to say anymore, I just continued the interrupted walk I was doing before and headed out somewhere where food was. He followed me and stayed side by side. We decided to dine at this place near the school but inside the perimeter. Ken and I were talking about a lot of things like what our classes had been like so far. I told him that I had no ill feelings for Nobara because first of all, that would be pointless and unreasonable and second one, she was my friend too so talking about her wouldn't make me awkward at all.

He was teasing me because he thought I was gaining weight for the past few days and I smacked his shoulder because I was not since I was not eating very well then he stared at me with those worried eyes again and told me that if it will took him to eat with me all the time just for him to be sure that I was eating healthily, he would do it. I told him it was unnecessary but he insisted and we left it that way. I told him that I felt I was distant to my Mom, that I wanted us to get closer and he said that would be great and I should really do that because it should be that way.

We were having a light and comedic conversation when I saw Natsume on the diner. I almost stopped walking but I decided why would I do that and I should continue on. Ken saw him too. We already entered the diner and what shocked me the most was that Ruka was there. Natsume told me that he was here and I kinda readied myself for the possible encounter but I was still surprised.

"Mikan, what's wrong? Is it Hyuuga?" I heard Ken asked.

"No," I choked out.

Natsume stared at me as I uncomfortably looked at him and Ruka seemed to notice that Natsume was focusing on something and after that Ruka turned his head and finally saw me. He looked as shock as me.

"Mikan," he said.

I shouldn't feel this way so I confidently said, "Hey, Ruka"

**End of Chapter**

* * *

**There is this saying that if it is boring to you, then it is boring to the readers. **

**I have written this chapter back in May and I just finished it now. I apologize for the slow updates. It's just that I am near to the point of not knowing what to do with this story anymore so your suggestions can be a big help. I can really understand if you don't like this chapter but I will finish the story, that's for sure. **

**Review? Suggest? Leave some words of encouragement? **


	15. Choose

**The Second Book**

**Chapter Fifteen**

_**Choose**_

**Written by: **_**keaRy anCe**_

"Hey, Ruka."

Those were not the words I intended to say but it came out unknowingly. I wanted to say something like it's been a long time and I hope we're still friends but considering the situation, it was not possible. I gulped because of my lame reaction and I felt extreme guilt because of what happened between us months ago. Ruka looked the same and there was no sign of any evident change. It seemed like he was the same Ruka from before. He was still the same. And suddenly, it hit me. Maybe he hated me.

I saw Natsume glanced at Ruka. They must be in good terms again if they were talking to each other now. I did not foresee that this situation would come one day. Not that I was an important girl but it was just plain awkward especially to me. But me plus Ken plus Natsume plus Ruka meeting in a diner was just an uncomfortable scene to see.

I bit my lip and opened my mouth, trying to say something but I stopped and just giggled lightly.

"It's been months," Ruka said it for me and I just nodded lamely.

My breathing paused for a quick second before I blurted, "Yeah."

"We should catch up."

"Yah, we should."

Natsume rolled his eyes and signaled Ruka that they should go which was so bossy of him. Natsume always acted like that, like he was the boss, like he was the one who owned the world. It was really funny that I was just realizing this now because back in my old school, Natsume was the only person I knew that could order the people around him.

"We just finished up eating. We'll be going now." Ruka said in such a nice voice.

I tried to give him a sincere smile but I failed to do so. "Ah, yes."

Natsume gave me one glance but I just ignored it. He seemed to ignore Ken which was fine.

Before Ruka completely exited the diner, I yelled, "It's nice to see again, Ruka. Really."

Ruka just smiled at me and I smiled back and watched them go. I took Ruka's smile to be a positive thing since it was genuine and I believed in his natural kindness. Ruka and I weren't really in bad terms and I just felt guilty earlier because I didn't bid him farewell when in fact, he was nothing but kind to me. Really, we stayed as friends and I am glad we did. So, Ruka was also an Alice user. Fate was really something.

"So, you're also friends with him?" Ken asked and I could sense the suspicion in his tone.

I wiggled my head as I crossed my arms, an indication that I was disappointed in Ken for thinking in such manner. "Come on, Ken. It's no secret that Ruka is one of the nicest people around," I said to him in a frank way.

"Maybe," he agreed forcedly. "You two seemed awkward back then."

Even Ken noticed it. Maybe that was the reason why Natsume was rolling his eyes. It was definitely awkward. "I guess it's because we haven't talked for months and we did not really have a proper separation," I just reasoned out.

* * *

"A mission for you two," Persona said as he handed a black envelope sealed with a red stamp to Natsume.

Ken couldn't help but laugh in disbelief. "You've got to be kidding me. You know very well that we can't work together," he said.

His working relationship with Natsume was never good to begin with so it didn't start because of Mikan, it just worsen because of her. Ken found Natsume to be extremely arrogant when it comes to work and suggesting what things to do. He found Natsume very independent, so independent that it became aggravating for him. Natsume could have asked for help once in a blue moon but the raven haired boy never did. Ken thought it was because of pride but later on he thought that it might be because Natsume didn't trust them.

Ken could not hide his anger anymore when Natsume told him that their mission could be ended faster if they will let him do all the work. Ken didn't snap at him for it will be too girly and instead killed the enemy before Natsume could do so.

"Are you questioning the orders?" Persona asked darkly.

Ken nodded in confidence. "Yes, yes I am."

Persona gave him a mischievous smirk. This mysterious man hated explaining things to a child. "You've got a lot of nerve, kiddo. Remember your position in this group."

"I haven't forgotten about it. But how can this mission be successful if I can't work properly with my teammate?" Ken rubbed in.

"What a big problem you got there, Nagihiko." Natsume said, his tone was full of scorn. His smirk was implying that Ken could be such a looser most of the times.

"Shut up, Hyuuga." Ken snarled.

Natsume looked straightly into Ken, sending the boy a feeling of inferiority. Persona's favorite was Natsume and that was why of all the students that belonged to the Dangerous Ability class feared him except Ken.

"You're just scared that you might be useless in this mission," the crimson-eyed boy said.

"I'm sure I won't and I assure you that you will be the one who is going to be useless," Ken retorted.

Natsume wanted to laugh but refrained himself and said, "We'll see."

"Right. We'll see."

Persona ignored the two and made a quick note to drop by to a certain someone some other time.

* * *

I was sitting on the swing located at Alice Academy's kindergarten building. It was really a good thing that it was weekend and nighttime because there was no person here except for me. It was very quiet and there was no way I could miss to hear the footsteps behind me. The fact it didn't scare me because the people who did sneak on me were only Ken and Natsume so it probably might them. I forgot that Persona did that too.

"So, Nagihiko, huh." It was not Ken or Natsume and luckily not Persona.

I glanced at my back and saw Ruka. I was shocked because he approached me in the middle of the night. "Should I beg for your understanding and forgiveness?" I asked shyly.

He shook his head and sat on the swing beside me. "No need. This isn't new to me."

I gripped the metal chain. The first thing that came into my mind that was Ruka was still sensitive about it and it was my entire fault. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry, Ruka. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I am so sorry, so sorry."

He shushed me by raising his hand and by looking defeated. "Mikan… really. It's fine. You know, Hotaru misses you."

Hotaru. Yes, I missed her too. My best friend must have hated me for running away and I had never sent her a single letter. "I miss her too. I wish I can get out of here sometimes and visit them," I said sadly.

Ruka was silent for a moment and continued swinging himself until he said, "Mikan, actually, Hotaru and I have this… misunderstanding."

Meaning they liked each other. I was so shocked hearing it because Hotaru and Ruka were the most unlikely persons that could like each other but I guess affection came that way for some people. I was happy for the both of them. They found the best in each other. I should have witnessed on how their feelings developed for each other and wow, Hotaru liking a boy. That was such great news. On the other hand, I was glad I ran because if I were there, Ruka might not have made a move on my best friend.

"Oh. Oh! Wow, I'm so happy for the both of you."

My happiness for them was real. I knew Ruka wouldn't hurt Hotaru. My best friend was so lucky.

Ruka smiled in relief. It seemed like he was worried on hoe he will tell me this great news. "It surprised me also. But you see, I found a very different Hotaru Imai."

"I agree. She's caring on her own way."

I saw Ruka blush a little and if only Hotaru could see him now I bet she would blush too even though that was so un-Hotaru.

"Enough of that. It seems like you and Natsume still have problems." He suddenly changed the topic which made me frowned.

My feet touched the ground, stopping my swing from moving. I broke the eye contact to Ruka and said, "I think that will never change, Ruka. I am not ready to forgive him and I don't think I can do that anytime sooner."

"He's serious about you, you know. Have you at least felt that?" he asked.

My hands met and I played with my fingers. "When it comes to him, it is hard to tell if it's a lie or the truth."

He shrugged his shoulders and focused his gaze somewhere afar. "Everybody deserves a second chance. He is willing to do anything for you and I'd seen how miserable he was when you left," Ruka said it in his usual manner. I could not help but look at him after saying that. He was helping Natsume by making me believe that Natsume had changed.

"No. He doesn't deserve it." I said firmly. "I had enough of this Natsume talk. Please, just let me have my peace," I desperately asked of him.

He looked apologetic and nodded in understanding. "Sorry, Mikan. So tell me about Nagihiko."

I raised my eyebrows at him and he just laughed at me. I was sure that Ruka knew Ken because of Natsume and come one, he too was an Alice student. Suddenly asking me to tell something about Ken. I couldn't find a good way to start because the things I wanted to say were overlapping. Ruka wanted to hear about Ken and I guess he was open on being friends with him unlike Natsume.

"He's my savior," I answered with a thankful smile. "Ken brought me back to life. He is my first friend here and eventually became the person who is always there for me."

Ruka's eyes narrowed and didn't seem like he was amused by my start. "Do you love him? Nagihiko?" he asked and I just felt my heartbeat stopped. I also felt my cheeks heated.

I could see the impatient look on Ruka and I could feel that I look ridiculous right now. It was an out of the blue question, a very personal one. I had not told Ken that word yet and now Ruka was asking me if I did feel that way for Ken Nagihiko. Did I love him? After all we'd been through, could I finally say that I do? After missing him so much and asking too much from him, could I really return his feelings? I was astonished by the question and moreover…

I was so surprised because I couldn't answer.

Ruka gave me a worried look which I knew was not a good thing. He might think I was still in doubt. "I'll just change the question. Do you still have feelings for Natsume?"

I looked away and chuckled just to make the atmosphere lighter. I covered my mouth with my hand and it travelled in my cheek and to my mouth again. God, I was trembling. "What kind of question is that? Do you think after all that I still have feelings for him? He had hurt me, lied to me, pushed me away and now he loves me. Do you know how funny that sounds, Ruka?" I retorted.

He stood up and stood before me making me look up to him. "Mikan, I'm aware of that but I'm just asking you a question answerable by yes or no. So, do you? What is it really that you feel?" he kneeled down when he asked me the question.

Hate. Stupidity. Selfishness. Confusion. Words that could be related to me. I could not answer Ruka's questions. Why was I like this? I was so sure of hating Natsume for the rest of my life and then now I could not answer a simple question if I still love him or not. I felt like a cheater and a liar. Why had it become so complicated when it could be simple? It was normal to be heartbroken, to be lied to, and to be pushed away but I made such a huge fuss about it. Self-centered. All I thought about was myself. Maybe that was why it was so hard for me to find true happiness because all I thought about was my feelings and my experiences.

"What, Mikan? Why aren't you answering?" he asked in a demanding tone.

I wanted to tell Ruka to stop messing with my head and he did not have any right to ask for things as private as that but I knew that sooner or later I will face this question that could set me free.

"Ruka… I."

And just like that I burst into tears.

I fell from the swing and I could feel the cold ground. I felt Ruka's arms supported me. I removed the hair that was in my face and looked at Ruka straight in the eye. "I don't mean to. I'm so sorry. I am not thinking. All this time I am just being selfish and wanting for revenge. It's just that I got so hurt and scared so I ran and met him and he came back when everything seems so fine."

Ruka wiped my tears and I just cried more.

He said to me, "I am not saying anything about you being selfish. But the time will come when you will have to choose between the boy you originally love and the boy who saved you. Before that happens, talk to Natsume. Know his real feelings for you and talk to him properly. Mikan, there will always come a time where there is one person that could be hurt by the decision we made. You cannot let this go on any longer."

"I'm not yet sure," I said weakly.

Ruka lifted me up but I couldn't stand alone so he needed to support me and made me sat on the swing again. "What is Ken to you? What is Natsume to you? You have to know that and you wouldn't be able to do that if you will just talk at Ken all the time. Mikan, there are two sides not one."

Talk to him… properly. I removed my arm from Ruka's support and wiped my tears. I gulped because this decision could make Ken confused but Ruka was right about talking to Natsume and if ever something had changed after talking to him, let just fate decide.

"I think… I think I'm ready to talk to him."

* * *

I opened my door, grunting for having a visitor after breaking down in front of Ruka. "What are you doing here?" I asked unwelcomingly.

Natsume's back was facing me and he just turned around after I talked. "Ruka told me that you are ready to talk to me in a civil manner and I couldn't wait for tomorrow."

"You're fast," I commented.

He smirked. "I am."

"Arrogant," I said. "I just want to hear it. Everything. Everything that you want to say and want me to hear."

* * *

Ken was just talking and talking and talking. He had a lot of stories. The only time I said something was when he mentioned something about going on a mission within this month and it could last for a few weeks. I was worried for him but it immediately vanished because right now I was more worried on his reaction. Make or break. It was time for me to tell him that I talked to Natsume. Make or break. It was up to him if he still wanted me after this. Make or break. Our friendship was very much at stake.

"You are being quiet. What happened?" he asked as he stopped talking.

I lowered my head and muttered but enough for him to hear, "Am I worth it, Ken?"

He made me look up by twitching my shoulders a bit. His face was showing nothing but pure worry. How many times did I see him with that look? Was I the only person who made him suffer this much? For the all the waiting he did, I was still selfish. "Why are you asking me this? Of course, you are." I heard him said.

I slapped his hands and stared at him. "Don't you find me selfish? I mean with Natsume and everything that's happening."

"No, I don't." He answered quickly. He seemed surprised by my action.

I turned around and gripped the lower hem of my shirt. I closed my eyes tightly and said, "There are a lot of things that you don't know about me."

I felt him near me and I confirmed it when he whispered to me, "Then tell me."

This was the time. I should tell Ken everything even though it might not be important for him but it was important for me to release this. "Ruka is not just any friend. Back then, he was like you. Ken, he used to like me." I sounded conceited, I noticed it. "Like you, he was my savior," I added in a small voice.

I saw him smiled in pure awkwardness and scratched a finger at the tip of his nose. "What? Why are you telling me this now?" he asked in demand.

"Because, I don't know, I really never thought about it."

"You should have told me when I told you about Nobara and I."

Nobara and him. I almost forgot about that.

I clenched my jaw and stared at the ground before I gazed at him again. "If you haven't noticed Ken, we had never talked about it. And it's not like this thing about Ruka is important to us because it never led to anything. I'm so sorry for not telling you when I had the chance."

I did not want us to fight again and Ken must be feeling the same because he said, "It's alright. I understand."

I gripped his shirt and sighed in relief. I could not see his expression now but I felt that he was honest about letting the issue about Ruka go. "Another, I talked to Natsume last night." I told him as I gripped his shirt lightly this time.

He removed my hands and asked in a dead tone, "You talked to him?"

"That's what I said, right?"

He stared at me as if I betrayed him. "Why?" he asked, his voice was whole.

When I talked to Natsume, he was not sensitive on talking about Ken and I thought it was time for Ken to be like that also. I learned from Natsume that there was really nothing big that happened between him and Ken and their conflict was just a result of misunderstanding and pride. "Ruka told me so. He said that I should listen to Natsume because he might have this thing he wanted to say for so long that he could only say to me," I explained. "Like me to you," I added in a quiet whisper.

He took my arms. "What is happening, Mikan? Tell me."

"Ruka asked me if I love you," I said and felt his grip lightened.

Ken was surprised with the question as I was. He had this expression of not wanting to know what I answered and at the same time curiosity. I disappointed him again.

"Then? What did you answer?"

I smiled weakly even if it wasn't the best time to smile. "Nothing. I couldn't."

His eyes that weren't bored at me earlier were staring at me now. He had this expression showing he was hurt by what I said. I could have explained to him the reason why I did not answer but I could not because I did not have the answer yet.

"What does that mean?" he asked, trying to be calm.

I ignored his question and said, "He also asked me if I still have feelings for Natsume and I couldn't answer also."

He nodded repeatedly and sat at the nearest bench he saw. "All this time, it's still him." He muttered and I saw tears. No. Ken was not crying. Ken was never the type to break down like this. "It's still him," he repeated. My eyes weren't fooling me because in front of me was boy, crying his feelings out. Shock overcame my consciousness.

He thought I already rejected him. What a stupid fool. I was just in a middle of saying something. How dare he cry like that in front of me? I did not deserve his tears. He was too precious for me. I was such a stupid fool for not saying anything immediately.

"No! It's not like that!" I yelled and kneeled in front of him, raising his head to make him look to me. I needed him to see me. I needed him to look straightly to me.

He avoided my gaze for a second and went back to facing me again. "Then, what? What, Mikan? What do you really feel about me? Are you still afraid? Unable to trust? When can you let go of the past?"

"It's not that easy," I reasoned out. His tears continued on spilling and I felt like crying too. I was nothing. He should not cry for me.

He opened his mouth and later formed his lips into a thin line. "Nothing is ever easy, Mikan. When will you let go of it?"

I held his face. "I don't know, Ken."

He stood up making me lose my balance on the ground. "You always answer that. You don't know? Mikan, you know. I am sure you know." His voice was rising but it did not scare me. He had every right to feel angry and I did not have any right to complain.

I rested my hands on my hips and curled it. "I don't really know. All I know is that I loved him so much. So much that up to now, remembering it makes a stabbing feeling in my chest. Months are not enough to make me forget them."

I felt stupid for saying it.

Ken made an expression like he finally understood everything. I wanted to tell him that it was not like that but I could not move. I was helpless and all I could do was lie in the ground. "And I am not enough for you to move on. Is that all am I? Your tool to move on?" he asked me.

A choking sensation was radiating from my mouth. I guess I was already crying too much. I let out a sob and said, "I have never thought of you that way."

"Maybe, I am not really the one that you need."

That kept me stop from crying and stood up. I looked desperate and I did plan to beg for his forgiveness, acceptance, and patience. I managed to compose myself before I said, "Why do you keep on saying that? Stop it."

He looked unaffected and he went on with talking. "If you would be happier with him, then…"

I shook my head and interrupted him as soon as I could. "No! Don't say it. Don't, please don't. I promised you, didn't I? That I will always be by your side, that you will not lose me, and that I will always be here. When I said that, I meant it. Don't push me away." I begged of him.

He held my hands and he seemed calmer now. I watched him grab my hands and followed his gaze. I refused to look in his eyes because I might not take it. This was make or break. I almost forgot.

"You always say that. When I am on the verge of giving up you will say something that assures me. This can't work every time. I'm doing this for your happiness."

Didn't he hear my pleading? Could he even hear himself?

I did not want to lose him and if I would do something, I would do it right. I swallowed so that I could at least not choke when I talk. "Do you think I'll be happy when you leave?" I asked, my voice was serious.

He glanced at his side and then back to me. "I'm just saying that if you still love Natsume then you can go to him."

"You're giving up? Just like that?"

"What do you want me to do?" he asked and he sounded desperate too. Like me.

Love confessions were usually done by the girls because boys were too proud to say out loud their true feelings. It was the time when a girl would abduct, block, or ambush the boy she liked for a very long time. It needed a lot of courage to say what was your true feelings to the person you are regarding these feelings to. This person you liked could be your longtime friend, an acquaintance, your classmate, or a person you just watched from afar. This person could be the closest to you but it didn't change the needed amount of courage to say what you feel.

So when you confess your feelings, your heart was pumping very fast. You were nervous and somehow afraid because you had no idea if you would be rejected, denied, or accepted. You had no idea if that confession would change your original relationship with this person. There were a lot of things at stake and were at risk but you would still say it because you would regret even more if you would keep the feeling. Your emotions were mixing and at one point you wouldn't know what to feel anymore. It was nerve-wracking.

Not all confessions were meant to let the person you like know your feelings. Sometimes it was a tool for two persons to be together. For example, a boy had already stated his feeling for a girl and all he needed was her answer. Time passed and the girl needed to confess her feelings too. Sometimes that's how it goes. But just like the first type of confession, it also required lot of braveness and readiness for future relationship.

Finally, you were ready to state your feeling. First, you stared at him and when you knew that his full attention was on you, you muttered to yourself that you can do this and you did. You stated your feelings with eyes closed and with a gentle voice. After your revelation, you felt lighter and wonderful because after keeping it within yourself for a long time, you released it. At that moment, you had never been more certain in your life. Now all you were just waiting for was his response. He might or might not smile to you. He might or might not say the same words you had said. You might or might not be happy with his answer. At this time, everything was dependent to the person you confessed your feelings to.

Confessing you r feelings to someone was not something you could witness every day. It was made to be private because it might give you a negative if not a positive effect and you did not need the whole world to witness your breakdown or extreme joy. You just wanted to share your joy to the person you love. I could find so many beautiful things in confessions. If I could witness one, I would have loved the emotions, the words, the actions and reactions.

One day, I would witness one.

After that train of thoughts, I was finally back. I was nervous, exhausted, scared, confused, determined, sad, and certain. I had mixed emotions and I knew that I already gained courage, lots of it. I gulped and made a step backward. My hands met again and I stared at Ken. He was looking at me and I knew I already got his attention. This was it. I was going to say it.

So, I finally closed my eyes.

"I love you, Ken! I want you. I need you. Your smile, your laugh, your words, your statements, your personality, your magical way of getting into my nerves but end up making me feel better. I love everything about you. I don't think I will ever be fed up with your trait of being such a mock. I know we just know each other for not a very long time but I felt like I have known you my whole life. I may not know every single little detail about you but I am willing to listen if you will tell me and I would do the same to you. I could not answer to Ruka because there was this heavy feeling inside me that I could only let out when I say it in front of you. I think I want to say it in front of you first before the whole world will know. It's you who I want to express these feelings beforehand. I want you to be the first who would know."

I finally did it. I said that I love Ken Nagihiko.

I was waiting for his reaction to come and when I saw nothing I felt weakness. "What else do you want me to say to stop you from thinking such things?" I asked weakly.

He was not saying anything for a couple of seconds and it was making me more anxious than before. I was expecting a rejection because he might think that I was just playing with him now and I was not serious. Thoughts were clogging my mind and I felt a tear escaped my left eye. Well, at least I said it. No regrets.

I made a weak smile and was about to apologize to him for being such a complicated person but I couldn't talk. I didn't have the power to. But then, when I was about to walk away, he said something.

He looked up with a smile. Ken gave me a smile I had never seen before. It was angelic, pure, happy, and different. "I don't need anything. I just need you." He said to me and walked towards me.

All my questions and fears were gone in an instant. He held my arm and cupped my chin.

"I need you, Ken. Don't every say that again. Leaving me. Don't ever."

"Okay, okay. Fine. I promise."

I glared at him shortly and made a wicked smile. "I don't need your promises. I need you to do it."

He chuckled and repeatedly nodded. "Sorry, I forgot. Yes, I will. I will never say that again."

I gripped his collar, my eyes were narrowed. "I said I love you. Where is my answer?"

He caressed my hair then my cheeks. His smile never faded and I just loved it. "I love you too, Mikan Sakura."

He said it in a way that could make any girl melt in front of him. I almost did not notice the way he claimed my lips that night, under the starry sky and the moonlight.

**End of Chapter**

* * *

**Too much drama. I know. xD **

**Mikan finally said it. How do you like my tirade before the actual confession? And how do you like the confession generally? I have no ideas on what real confessions are actually like so I just based it on what I have seen on movies and tv shows. I hope I did a good job. **

**Tell me what you think about this chapter. **


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